Baby name disappointment – talk me down please!

posted 1 year ago in Babies
Post # 31
751 posts
Busy bee

Since you already know it’s in the top 10 you were prepared to have other kids in their classes in the future with the same name anyways, so an aquaintence’s son is not a problem at all.  Name your child Oliver if you want and dont bother having a conversation with them about it, that would probably make it more awkward. 

Post # 32
1263 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Go ahead and use it! You just said your kids will barely know each other. I’d say the same thing even if your kids were closer. Many people that live in the same house have the same name (fathers and sons) and make do.


Post # 33
12119 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I promise you there is absolutely no issue here. Not only don’t you have to justify yourself, you shouldn’t. If your friend has an issue with it, that’s just a really poor reflection on her. 

Post # 35
2772 posts
Sugar bee

mkbee :  Judged by people you aren’t close to and only see a couple of times a year?

You’ll be dealing with a whole lot more judgment than what you named your child when s/he is actually here. Worry about that, not what people you went to school with 10 years ago think about you also naming your child Oliver. 

Post # 36
4060 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

My son’s name is in the top 100, not even top 10. If someone I knew from HS named their kid the same it would never occur to me they were copying me. You’re overthinking it. If you love it, it’s what you should use!

Post # 37
2663 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

mkbee :  First of all, I am so sorry. I anticipated other people’s babies births and their name announcements with trepidation when I was pregnant with Dear Daughter and had a name I loved for four years at the top of my list for her. I got lucky and no one picked it but if they had I would have been a mess as well. I can’t tell you what to do because I might have changed my mind in that instance based on how close I was to those friends or how often our paths would cross with your kids in the future. Only you can answer that and if it would bother you having two little Olivers interact with each other and their parents’ friends from time to time. But if you love the name as much as it sounds like you do, then I wouldn’t let this deter you from picking it and being happy with it for the rest of your lives. Friends and their kids come and go but family, such as your son, will be with you always. Who knows, maybe these friends will move away, or you’ll grow apart, or have a falling out, and then it won’t matter much if your sons share a name. AND, if you have a girl, you can always save Oliver for a potential baby #2 in the future and then their Oliver and yours will be years apart and your relationship with them could have changed by then anyway. Good luck deciding bee! 

Post # 38
970 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2018 - Tizer Gardens/Carroll College

So apparently in my mom’s family, her relatives just straight up do not give 2 F&*(%s about shared names. We have:

3 Mike’s, 2 Andi’s, 2 Angie’s, and 3 Chris’s – all of them are in the same generation of kids; all are either 1st or 2nd cousins. It’s kind of nuts. I think my mom and her sister are the only two that used really different names. It is so confusing knowing which Mike, from which family.

That said, if our family can do it, you can, too with a close friend! Maybe her Oliver will end up just being called Ollie!

Post # 39
9630 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

I mean it’s the #3 on the baby name charts in the US. My new nephew is even named Oliver. I can bet that he’s going to have at least 1 other Oliver in his class. Anddd… you might not even be having a boy!!

I’d keep the name. 

Post # 40
607 posts
Busy bee

I’d still use it. My cousins are sisters, and one has a daughter named Alexandra and the other has a son named Alexander. lol. Oh and also another family member whose name is Kristen and she named her daughter Kristina. Now when someone talks about one we all remember and think of the other with the similiar sounding name. It’s cute. 

Post # 41
1000 posts
Bumble bee

I think it’s natural for you to feel that way at first! But I also think this feeling will go away, and you should carry on with your plan to name your son Oliver. Something similar happened in our family circle many years ago, and it’s never been made a big deal. My sister and her friend both have children of the same name around the same age. Sister was upset at first but whatever. Now everyone thinks it’s cute and funny. It’ll be okay. 

Post # 42
1718 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

I agree with other bees! You are super lucky because Oliver is such a popular name – neither you nor anyone else will feel slighted by coming across yet another baby named Oliver. I had a friend give birth to an Oliver back in April!

Name your baby Oliver! 😀 It’s an ADORABLE name!

Post # 43
1081 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1995

Use the name.  They aren’t that close to you.  It’s fine to use the same name. 

There is no need to have a conversation with them about it.  That would be weird.  

Post # 44
820 posts
Busy bee

Use it. It’s not like it’s copyrighted.

My husband and I already have a name picked out for a future daughter if we have one. His best friend’s wife is currently pregnant with twin girls. Even if they somehow decide to use the name we picked, we won’t be changing our decision. Life goes on.

Post # 45
648 posts
Busy bee

Yep, totally fine to use it! It’s not like it’s your sibling or BFF. And I don’t see any reason you’d need to have a convo with them if you do end up having a boy and naming him Oliver. 

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