- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
So, what do you ladies think about sharing baby names before a baby is born? Here are my views on the matter and how I came to these views.
My SIL (read past posts on my odd relationship with her) asked me via text one day about a year ago if Darling Husband and I had talked about baby names, and which we liked for girls. So I told her my list. She told her Darling Husband (my DH’s brother) and he texted me saying I couldn’t use name A because it was too similar to his other niece’s name (not similar AT ALL, they just have one syllable the same), and I couldn’t use names B and C because “they were literally the worst names he had ever heard and the kid would be bullied.” The names aren’t that bad, I mean seriously. But I just thought that was so rude and out of line, naming a baby is so personal, and I NEVER would have EVER said something like that to them.
My dad is awesome, but he has a big mouth when it comes to baby names. My cousin was waffling between two names for her baby boy (who is 2 now), and my dad told me all the time “ugh, she can’t name it ____, that’s a sissy name” (it’s not! a little preppy but very classy and plenty masculine) and now that she chose that name, he is always saying “ugh i can’t believe she named him _____.” My best friend is having a baby and he has SO MANY OPINIONS about that baby’s name, so I shared some of my favorites and he was basically like ugh no you can’t name your baby that. Like I can’t, can I? You’re not the one having a baby, last time I checked (I’m not either, but we will probably TTC in a couple of years.)
I told my best friend that is pregnant my experiences, and she is choosing to keep their names to themselves. I think this is smart. I think naming a baby is a very personal decision and should not be swayed by anyone else’s opinions aside from the mother’s and father’s. Unfortunately no one seems to have a filter about these things, and they seem to just shove their opinion down your throat if you tell them what names you like (even if you don’t ask for their opinion!) SO. At her baby shower, someone asked her in front of everyone what they were going to name the baby and she said they aren’t sharing.
Later in the car, my mom said she thinks that this is stupid because whether you tell people before or after the baby is born, people will still be judgmental and have opinions – whether that is to your face or behind your back, they will talk if they hate the name. This is a good point, except that I feel like if you tell people before the baby is born and people shit all over your baby name ideas, it does taint it for you, even if you have a thick skin (I consider myself to have a thick skin, but for a decision as important as a baby name, I think lots of negative opinions do make you question whether or not you’re making a poor choice for your child’s life. Or maybe that’s just me.) My mom promised not to be aggressively negative about any of my baby name choices and said one day when we’re pregnant she wouldn’t spread it around if I chose to share with her. I shared my list and she was very nice and asked if she could tell me her favorites. I said yes and she did, and it was a very positive and cheerful conversation.
So now I’m on the fence. Maybe we’ll share with a very limited circle of people, maybe we’ll share with no one. After our experience with his brother, Darling Husband is adament that we won’t share with anyone (his mom is going to freak out about this, she is super overbearing). However, unfortunately our ‘close circle of people’ consists of his brothers, who are super negative, competitive and rude, and my dad, who has an unintentionally big mouth. I just don’t think it would be fair to share with my mom and no one else. -_-
What are you ladies’ opinions on this issue, in general? I usually get such great advice from you and you bring up such good points that I never think of, I figured I’d share my thoughts with the hive.