(Closed) Baby name sharing (this is long, sorry!)

posted 7 years ago in Names
  • poll: Should couples share baby names, or is it too risky?

    Share with everyone, and ignore everyone's opinions

    Share with everyone, but tailor baby names toward popular opinion

    Share w/a limited circle of people that are very important to the couple, & ignore their opinions

    Share w/a limited circle of people that are very important to the couple, & tailor names to opinions

    Only share with one or two people the couple considers are 'safe'

    Don't share with anyone. This is a private and intimate decision only to be made by mom & dad.

    Wait until you have THE name picked out, people won't poo poo a name you've already 'settled' on!

    Other (explain!)

  • Post # 47
    Member
    756 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    We are going to share with select people while we’re going through the process of picking a name. Sometimes it’s smart to get other people’s opinions as long as they are being nice and constructive with their critisism. I’ve shared with my mom some names we’re considering. She has been polite, but has expressed concern about a name or two. We like the name Wyatt, but we live in the south and she mentioned that people may get lazy when they say it and it may sound like white. I think that’s a smart thing to think about that I probably wouldn’t have thought of. Once we have definitely settled on a name I plan to call our baby that name, so I would definitely share it matter of factly. I think if you say we are naming the baby Bob or whatever you pick then people won’t say anything. It’s only if you sound unsure.

    Some people need to think twice before they name their baby though. And maybe a critique would help them. I have a friend who is no where near having a kid, but told me the name she wants to use. She literally made it up, and it is one of those names you look at in writing and have no earthly idea how to pronounce it. Poor kid. 

    Post # 48
    Member
    6107 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I would have a hard time not sharing but I think in the end I wouldn’t tell anyone. Even if I loved a name, if someone close to me (like a parent) expressed disgust for a name I would second guess my choice. I simply don’t want that to happen. My best friend refused to tell her mom the name they picked for her baby because her mom was so stuck on them naming it after her grandmother that she turned her nose up at every other name. My friend didn’t want to hear her mom bash their name choice before the baby was even hear. I think it’s smart. Most people won’t say anything rude (to your face) if they find out the name after the child is born.

    Post # 49
    Member
    1470 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    View original reply
    @TwoStatesBride:  That’s what I meant by “no one pushed further.” If they had, I’d probably have said something like “we want to keep the decision free of influence, so we aren’t sharing the list.” I don’t have a problem with people not sharing, but more with people saying “We chose our baby name but we aren’t telling you!” If pressed, I think it’s fine to say you aren’t sharing (i think it’s fine to say it up front to the original question, but my answer worked fine for us).

    Post # 50
    Member
    2529 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I’d keep the names to myself!
    NO ONE will learn what we plan to name our kids someday.
    Worst case scenario, I plan on making up two totally out-there names like my mom did (she used to tell people her options were Muffy and Biff, while twirling her hair on her fingers and talking like a valley girl) and not letting people know if I’m joking or not.

    If people want to be judgemental before the baby’s named, then fine, technically that name wasn’t the “final word” as it’s not official. I can still use it (because the only people whose opinion matters are the parents) but can’t really say much against the criticism, I did put it out there.

    If they want to be judgemental AFTER the baby is named, then they’re being big fat jerks.

    Post # 52
    Member
    11324 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    I think that people should do whatever they want to do! There is no one right answer. I’m currently pregnant and I hope to keep the name to ourselves (once we decide on it) except maybe from our very best friends. Not really because we care what people think, but more because I think it is fun to announce the name with the first picture after birth. 

    But I have no clue if we’ll make it because I have a big mouth 🙂

    Post # 53
    Member
    115 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I am with your mom on this one.  People will still have their opinions whether you tell them before or after.  I respect the choices of couples who want to keep their baby names a secret, although I never really understood why..  I have always assumed that people keep hush-hush because they want it to be a surprise or keep others from “stealing” their baby name ideas. 

    Never really crossed my mind that it would be kept a secret because of negative responses..  With that said, there have been very, very rare cases where I wished a couple had told their close friends/family about their soon to be choices because the names they chose were just.. no.  :/  Hopefully I don’t get flamed for saying that.

    Post # 54
    Member
    5187 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    I think it’s bad luck to share anything baby related until a healthy baby is actually born (obviously I don’t attend baby showers). The name should be a personal decision between Mom and Dad, and outside influences shouldn’t be a factor. 

    Post # 55
    Member
    2538 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I personally wouldn’t share with anyone. Not because of fear of judgement but more the number of stories I have heard about people sharing their name ideas with other soon-to-be parents and them using their name. Ok, so I know names aren’t owned by people and they may have thought of it themselves before even hearing it, but you never know. 

    I would rather keep name choices between me and DH, then if someone else uses it I will no it wasn’t from us!

    Post # 56
    Member
    3562 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I’ve recently come to the conclusion that I will no longer share names I like, or the names I’m considering (when I am PG), and we will not share any names until will decide a definite name for our child. 

    I’ve been in the situation before where a pregnant friend asks me what names I like, or am considering for future kids, I tell them a couple, and they end up picking one of them. 

    My cousin was considering a particular name for her son, which was granted, a little odd, when my Aunt (her mom) told her “she better not name her grandbaby such an ugly name.”  My cousin picked it anyway. LOL

    Post # 57
    Member
    106 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    We told everyone- very matter of fact.  We were very forturnate that all of our friends liked the name (at least that is what they told us when they found out what the name was) – and our parents, when we told them said “we decided on xxx- if you don’t like it, that is your choice, but it is not up for discussion” (both of our mothers tend to be drama queens, and we just knew they would have something to say)- when we phrased it that way, we didn’t have any flack from them (surprisingly).  But we didn’t discuss names with anyone at all until we had decided– worked very well for us!

     

    Post # 59
    Member
    2775 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    We didn’t settle on a name until he was born, but we did have a short list that we shared with our inner circle.  We didn’t have any out-there names on the list, so if anybody wanted to say they that hated, say, Benjamin or Alexander, no skin off my nose.

    That said, I like when people wait until the birth to announce the name.  It can be annoying when they’re all “it’s a secret” or “we know, but we’re not telling” like they’re guarding some national secret, but still.  Most people share everything while they’re pregnant – ultrasound photos, weekly bump shots, gender reveal, etc. – that by the time baby is born the birth announcement is almost anticlimactic!  There’s the length and weight to announce, but BFD; that’s not terribly interesting.  So I like the idea of saving something exciting for the birth.

    Post # 60
    Member
    85 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    We decided not to tell anyone. 1- We don’t want other peoples opinions about names we have picked. 2- I love the surprise of finding out what people pick after the baby is born. 3- My brother in law and his partner picked a name for their baby so the whole time she was pregnant everyone called the bump by the name. When the baby was born they changed the name. It was confusing knowing a baby for 9 months as one name, than his born and his a different name.

    Post # 61
    Member
    1219 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    As a first comment, i find it weird to make a final decision on a baby name until you actually see the baby. DH and I will have a shortlist and will decide when we meet our child. 

    If I had already chosen a name I would not share it with anyone. As pps have said, everyone has an opinion or knows someone they dislike with the name you pick and you don’t need that kind of negativity.

    Having said that, I recently asked a friend of mine on Facebook whether her baby was a boy or a girl and she replied, spontaneously telling me the name they picked. Personally I think it’s a terrible name and sounds silly with her surname but it’s her choice and I would never dream of telling her how I feel about it. what does it matter to her what I think?

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