Post # 47
Among friends, it’s totally and completely ridiculous to get upset about having kids with the same name. I do remember the pain my sister-in-law had as she was preparing to have her daughter, and how she lost a friend when that friend learned she was ‘stealing’ her 2-year-old daughter’s name.
Unfortunately, I have blabbed and mentioned the names I’d like to some members of my family, and word gets around (dumb, dumb, dumb). When it comes to folks who might ‘steal’ it, though, I don’t think any of them would. Too fearful of the consequences, I guess.
For that matter, I think that claiming names is stupid. If someone else named their kid something before or after I had my kid, I don’t see how it has any bearing. So two cousins end up with the same name. Ooo! It’s not like we have nicknames or context clues for such situations.
The only reason I’d pause is in the event a family member used the name first. While I know *I* don’t care, I don’t know how other family members would feel and if any fights over it would be worth it.
Though generally, I think I’ll stick to my names no matter what. Coming up with a boy’s name especially took ages..I’m not ready to just toss that one out if someone else uses it in the meantime.
Post # 48
My older sister wanted to use our grandma’s first name as a middle name for a daughter, let’s say it was Joan. (It’s not Joan.) Then my sister had three boys and was not having more kids. My Darling Husband and I gave our first daughter Joan as her middle name. So… arguably I stole the idea. But she wasn’t going to use it. And it’s a beautiful name and a family name and we both loved our grandma very dearly. As far as I know she does not resent it.
If my sister had had a daughter before me, however, and made her middle name Joan, I would absolutely not have done so. Probably not if they weren’t finished having kids, either.
My sister also gave her second son my favorite name for a boy, and I was slightly crestfallen by it, but that’s life imo. I wouldn’t have used that name had Darling Husband and I had a boy, and if we have a son in future, second favorite boy’s name it is.
Post # 49
@Mrs. Doily: +1
we don’t share our names. so if someone ever uses one of our favorite names, they wouldn’t have stolen it, and thus i can’t be mad.
Post # 50
I can definitely understand feeling upset that someone else used the name that you planned to use. You spend a lot of time thinking about a name and you get really attached. Ever since we found out we were having a boy, Darling Husband and I have been calling him by his name around each other, but not around other people. His Brother-In-Law and SIL are also expecting…they are due three months after us.
If a friend uses the same name for their kid as I would…that doesn’t really bother me. Let’s say later down the line, my kid makes a new friend at school with another kid that has the same name. Will I not let them play with that kid solely for that reason? Absolutely not! I like to avoid it in families because it is a bit confusing. My mom and her cousin share the same name, but both go by their first name + middle name when they’re around each other. With my cousins, we had a Matthew already in the family. When my aunt got remarried, her husband already had a son named Matt. We just called one by his full name, one by the nickname. There are ways around it, but it can definitely still be disappointing.
Post # 51
I think the concept of name stealing is silly. Looking back in my own family tree, people used to repeat names constantly within the same generation. Lots of Johns, Josephs, Williams, Marys, Rebeccas. And back then, there were less name choices than there are now. A lot of them went by nicknames.
Also, I’ve been upfront about the names I like since I was 12 (and they haven’t changed!) so if anyone steals them, it would be ridiculous.
Post # 52
I have lots of pregnant friends who have babies due before ours. I’ve talked about it with a couple of them, they know we’ve picked our names out already (we have chosen fairly popular, common names) but haven’t told them what they are. If they happen to choose the same name, then never mind, our babies will have the same name! The only names i consider “off limits” are the names of our nieces and nephews.
Post # 53
@Hyperventilate: I could not agree more!
This isn’t really “stealing”, but I think it applies. My husband and I always loved the name “Amelia” for a little girl and we picked it out before we even made the decision to have kids. I got pregnant with our daughter shorty before my dad married his new wife. My new stepsister has 2 daughters whose names start with “A” because that’s her theme. My husband and I wanted no part of that theme, so instead, we named her a different first name and used “Amelia” as a middle name. Doesn’t bother me the slightest bit, either. We still got to use the name we loved and I actually love our daughter’s first name more!
I also had a friend who was 2 months behind me in pregnancy who loved the name Amelia. She actually asked me for permission to use the name. I said “hell yeah. You can name your kid whatever you want and I don’t own the name”. I think it’s cool that her daughter and mine have one of their names in common!
Post # 54
I thought princess Kate was going to steal my daughters (due in 3 weeks) name. The widely rumored girls name was our #1 choice that we picked in April.
So I guess I’m the silliest of them all!