Baby name theft

posted 6 months ago in Babies
Post # 2
Member
6084 posts
Bee Keeper

Your mom sounds petty AF

Post # 3
Member
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I don’t think anyone “owns” a name and I wouldn’t be angry if someone, even a close friend or relative chose a name for their child which was the same as one of mine. My son had a very common name. Within my extended family- three other kiddos also have that name. No big deal. So, short answer- yes, I would absolutely stay friends with someone who chose the same name as one of our kids. 

Post # 4
Member
420 posts
Helper bee

I can kind of understand the annoyance,

 

But way excessive to just cut someone out for ‘stealing’ a name. I definately would stay friends with someone who copied my baby choice name.

Post # 5
Member
257 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

Seems silly to get upset about. It’s a name. You don’t own it. 

Post # 8
Member
7865 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I can see being annoyed for sure…who does that? I wonder if there were other grievances in this friendship and that was the final straw or something. I don’t think I’d break up with a friend over that alone, but I also can’t imagine anyone I’m close friends with actually pulling such a stunt so it’s kind of moot.

And no, I don’t think anyone has “ownership” over a name, but the situation you described is a bit much for sure. 

Post # 10
Member
2961 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2006

I had a similar situation happen, but not exactly. A really close friend and I had a falling out. During this time we both got pregnant and had girls. It just so happened that we used the same MIDDLE NAME, not even first name. When she found out this happened she was furious, to the point of tears. How DARE I name my daughter the same MIDDLE NAME as her??? It’s my husband’s grandmother’s name FFS. And a ridiculously common one, Grace. I literally laughed out loud when I heard this from a mutual friend. 

I understand being miffed, but it’s not like she has copyright laws on names. There are more important things to invest your energy into, and I certainly wouldn’t ruin a significant friendship over it. I agree with jellybellynelly that it’s very petty. 

Post # 11
Member
879 posts
Busy bee

I think it depends on the name. If it is a truly unique name that she only knows about because of you, then yeah that’s a little annoying. 

 

But for a regular ole girls name? I’m with the bee who called it petty AF. I grew up in the 1980’s with a zillion Jennifers though so it seems ridiculous to cut off a friend for using the same baby name.

Post # 12
Member
768 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

Hahahah yes I totally get it I was so relieved my friend had a boy or else she was stealing my girl name (it was my grandmothers name and she just liked it – roar.) But we both just would’ve had girls named that and that’s fine, not ideal but not friendship ending. 

Post # 13
Member
322 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2020 - City, State

I would think it’s kind of odd, but I probably would not cut out the friendship. Funny story…my son’s middle name is spelled uncommonly, as I did that with a mix of my name and his dad’s name. Basically, I put an “A” where an “E” would be for the commond spelling. 

 

His dad’s brother’s (very annoying) girlfriend had a baby less than a year later, and she used that middle name as her son’s first name, and she’d say, “…but I spelled it right…” That bugged me. Then when she had her second son, she gave that son my son’s first name as a middle name. It was just so weird. 

Post # 14
Member
887 posts
Busy bee

I wouldnt stay friends with anyone who would ruin an otherwise perfectly good friendship over a name… that’s just ridiculous. Is it annoying to copy? Sure I can see that. However, it’s a first world problem and not a hill to die on much less end a friendship. My best friend and I have the same name and grew up together. It wasn’t a big deal and surprisingly wasn’t as confusing as you’d expect. We went to the same school till college, had tons of same classes, same community outside of school, etc. So if someone has a baby the same time as I do and our kids have the same name, i wouldn’t mind at all.

Here’s a fun relevant story:

My mom has a childhood friend from back when they lived in Pakistan(A). She had her first kid a few months before my mom had me. She named her daughter “B”. I came along a few months later and “B” was the only name both my parents agreed on. A was actually ecstatic lol and jokingly said if mom has her a second before she does she will copy the name (assuming same gender). Lo and behold… mom has my sister and named her “C”. A had a kid a few years later and also named her “C”! But we do live in different states and I’ve only ever met B and C a few times in my life. 

 

ETA- SO and I also have our future boy name picked out. I’ve had this name in mind for a decade now. It’s not super common but not unusual either. I don’t care if anyone in my friend circle or family uses it before I (if ever) have a boy, but I’m gonna use it too if I end up with a boy and they can suck it up if they have a problem. 

Post # 15
Member
3364 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

Obviously your mother didn’t value the friendship much if she ended it over a name. It’s just a name for crying out loud. Nobody has owner ship of it. My sister and I have the same middle name picked out for our potential future kids. Neither of us have plans to change that, nor do we feel the other person would be “stealing” it. It’s a name, not a kidney.

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