Post # 46
I can see being very upset here too. We have specific names picked out for both a boy and girl, that are very deeply important to us and family names (people that have died in both of our families). I actually do not plan to tell many people the names for this very reason. If I told someone my planned first and middle name and they stole both, I would be furious and probably end contact. Just a first name would bother me but not as much. And per a PP, middle name.. I wouldn’t really care if the first name was different. But for me the issue would be the combined first + middle that make the names special for our families. I would be FURIOUS.
Post # 47
rainbowduckie : I literally laughed out loud reading the title of your post. You can’t steal a baby name – it doesn’t belong to anyone.
For the record my sister had a baby 8 weeks before me and used the name I had been dying to name a son for years (we both had boys). Now I have an adorable nephew with that name and the world is still spinning, I named my kid something else. She didn’t steal the name – we both liked it and she has as much right to name her kid what she wants as I do.
Your mom is definitely petty. Or she just doesn’t have enough real problems.
Post # 48
ysel : My name is too rare to share on here <3 I’m so sorry! I just don’t want anyone in real life to find me on this site.
Post # 49
You can’t “steal” a name, so…
Was your mom looking for some other reason to end the friendship? Because while it could be annoying it does sound childish.
Post # 50
No one owns a name?
I could certainly understand being a little taken aback as I want my children to have relatively uncommon names but I’m not delusional in thinking that they will be the only person in the world to have that name so really, what’s the issue?
Post # 51
thepinkflamingo : I think the issue is that it is a friend. Sure, no one expects to have their child’s name be the ONLY instance of that name in the world, obviously. But a close friend or family member? I think it is rude.
It is also circumstantial. If the name is Jennifer or Brittany.. then sure it can be common for that same person to think of the same name at the same time. But if it is a unique name or specific to your family, why would they need to use it?! Also, if two people named their children the same without knowing, what a coincidence and no reason to be mad whatsoever. But this person KNEW her friend wanted the name and blatantly used it anyway.
As I mentioned in my previous post, we have specific names dedicated to family members. If my best friend or SIL decided to name their first born child after my dead sister, yes, I would likely cut contact. That is my name to give from my sister to my daughter.
Post # 52
SeaOfLove : Oh man really?? :O Man, im super curious now!! It’s okay, I respect that 🙂
Post # 53
My name is really unique and I’ve only ever met one person with my name. I don’t think I’d be happy to share my name with a friend or relative that I see on a regular basis, but the uniqueness of my name as a part of my identity evolved over the years. If I had shared a name with others, it would have been regular. I just asked my mother and she said she wouldn’t have been upset if one of her friends had named their daughter the same name as mine.
Has your mother had other incidences of severing ties with friends over things she considered egregious but which may not have been that serious to someone else?
Post # 54
rainbowduckie : why didnt your mum register your name at birth with ‘the national office of baby name ownership’?
Would have saved her friendship that she clearly valued so dearly.
Post # 55
You can’t own a name, so you can’t steal a name. One of my best friends named her daughter the same name as my daughter. When they decided on the name, she called me to ask me if it was okay.
I was bewildered.
Of course it’s okay. It’s just a name.
Post # 56
It’s possible for more than two people to like the same name. I wouldn’t care if all my friends named their kid after my hypothetical kid. Life’s too short to get upset about petty shit.
Post # 57
I understand getting upset if there were already other issues in the friendship, and the person is very selfish and rude. Than it would just be the last straw, but if they are really a nice person and you had no other issues than I would still be friends with them
Post # 58
temeculabride : so your brother isn’t allowed to name his child after your sister?…. idk. Unless she had a really uncommon name, I could totally see a friend or family member liking a particular name just because & using it.
Fwiw. My deceased sister has a super uncommon name, and it would not upset me if someone I knew chose to name their child her name. I’d think it was sweet to have another little girl living a good life with that name, in my life.
Post # 59
To answer some of the questions… My name isn’t super common but it’s not super unique. I don’t wish to disclose personal information here so I will keep my name to myself. FYI, it’s not Jennifer lolz.
According to my mother, her friend had decided on the name Rosie (adorable btw) for her daughter throughout her whole pregnancy. Apparently, she was so into the name that she wallpapered the whole nursery with roses. My mom had never revealed the name she had chosen for me. Anyways, I was born and my mother gave me my name. Then about a month later her friend had her daughter and gave her the same name without telling my mom of her plans (not that anyone really needs permission to name their child but they were supposed to be friends…so…). My mom asked her why she did that and the friend said that the second she heard it she wanted it.
I have since asked my mom if she regrets ending the friendship. According to my mom, this was the last thing in a long line of f***ed up toxic s**t that this friend had done during their friendship. So her answer is no.
Post # 60
jannigirl : Well, no because I don’t have any other siblings. And the name isn’t exactly her name, its a derivation into something slightly different combined with a family middle name on my husbands side. Just seems weird to me that a friend would do that. By coincidence and not knowing I’d understand, but purposefully? I would never use a name I knew one of my very good friends was interested in. It’s like going after a guy you know they were interested in – girl code!