Post # 1
Just venting, seeing if anyone else felt this way. My parents love my fiancé and have always told us they were waiting on us next to get married. Well, he finally proposed a few days ago and as I told them the news they just received news at that same time my sister just gave birth a little earlier than expected. Although my boyfriend (now fiancé) asked for their blessing beforehand I thought that they’d be more excited for us, congratulate us, welcome him and give him a hug, etc. but they just said “that’s good!! Did you hear about the baby?” Now they’re going on and on about the baby. Mind you, this is the fourth grandkid lol, I’m happy for my sister and I can’t wait to hold my nephew but Fiance and I are a bit disappointed they didn’t seem to care.
So now my whole family is just talking about the baby and not even asking us any questions or seem to share the excitement. Wel, my sisters and cousins were excited but it seem to went away when the baby came.
His family was excited, congratulated us, hugged me and called me their sister, their cousin, etc. I feel moreso bad that my Fiance didn’t get the same treatment from my family….and it really bothers me. Like I said, I’m excited for the baby and I want my family to be excited too but I just wish they seemed to give a bit more care about our news.
Post # 2
Your family is excited but a new baby (even if it’s number 4) is more exciting than an engagement. It doesn’t mean they aren’t happy/excited for you. I think you should cut them some slack.
Post # 3
I’m genuinely not trying to be a dick, but a new baby (even the fourth grandchild) trumps pretty much everything. It just does.
Your family will probably show more excitement as the wedding comes. Most people celebrate the wedding more than the engagement. Try not to focus on it
Post # 4
An engagement is always a matter of “oh, that’s great!” and then moving on. A new life trumps a promise to make a committment every time. People will be excited about the wedding, but a baby is more exciting for grandparents than just about anything else.
Post # 5
I know that engagements are prized as a huge life event (and to some extent, they are), but at the end of the day, they’re a pretty “toothless” life event. The wedding/marriage is the real life event, the engagement is the promise to plan the life event.
A baby being born is a real, actual, tangible life event. Of course it’s much more exciting, in this brief moment in time, than a yet-unplanned wedding. Unless your family are all awful people, they’ll adjust to the excitement of a new baby and get more excited for the wedding as it draws nearer.
We found out we’re going to be an uncle/aunt again shortly before our wedding, and I was honestly almost as excited about that as I was the wedding itself! Families grow, both through marriage and babies, and it’s all exciting.
Post # 6
I am sure they are all very happy for you (and the bees are too!) but like the PP’s said…a baby always wins.
Post # 7
Sorry to hear about your disappointment . It seems like most grandparents seem to be very excited about their new grandkids. I’ve never been too excited about other people’s babies. It’s like that’s nice, but I kind of don’t care. Caveat is I never cared that much about children in general.
i bet your parents will be more excited about the actual wedding day. Try to brush it off and good luck on planning your special day !!
Post # 8
Thanks all for letting me vent and I feel better now lol.
Post # 9
Yeah sorry but your family are being dicks. You can express excitement/happiness about more than one life event at a time and to not even say congratulations is really rude. They are making a choice not to do that. I am pretty sure most people would be a bit upset to just recieve a “that’s good” from their parents when they got engaged.
Congratulations on your engagement. Mlim :
Post # 10
a baby (especially a premature one) trumps a party that’s likely over a year away any day… this is your marriage no one elses and films have created false expectations that the world stops for your excitement but you only get ONE day and life carries on around you and its not an attack on you personally its just the real world.
Post # 11
They will be excited in the run up to your wedding, the actual engagement isn’t really exciting for anyone else – even close family.
Post # 12
I really second your opinion. There’s no natural hierarchy of life events and people can easily focus on two happy occasions, it’s about taking the time for it. It literally takes five minutes to express your excitement, to talk about the proposal and the ring. A baby is no excuse for being inconsiderate.
OP, congrats on your engagement!!
Post # 13
Op I’m sorry your family is being like this. Yes, a baby is exciting for a lot of people but that doesn’t mean that it should overshadow everyone else’s happy news. I definitely don’t agree that a new baby automatically trumps a wedding. I was more excited for my best friend’s wedding than I was to meet my husband’s cousin’s baby. Congratulations on your engagement.
Post # 14
Im sorry, but all this “baby trumps engagement” as an excuse for OPs family to piss on an exciting announcement is total crap.
Is a new baby a blessed, exciting event to be celebrated? Of course it is. Does a new baby mean that when two people announce that they have decided they love each other enough to spend the rest of their lives together, that you can’t take ten damn minutes to squeal and hug and gush with happiness? No, it absolutely does not!
OP, you have every right to be hurt and disapointed. I’m sure it stung to be dismissed so quickly and with so little reaction. I’m sure your family will come around, but in the mean time try not to let it dampen your happiness.
Congratulations on your engagement.
Post # 15
This is bullshit.
As a grandma, I have been over the moon each time a new grandchild has been born (I have four as well). However I can celebrate the birth of a new grandchild without diminishing another child’s special and important news. I love my grandkids to bits but I absolutely can’t imagine crushing another loved one’s happy announcement with such an underwhelming response. As a few other people have said, it’s perfectly possible to celebrate more than one event at a time.
I would also like to add that this kind of insensitivity or seeming favouritism can cause a rift between siblings, creating a rivalry or competition or hurt feelings when it’s just so unnecessary. Yes, engagement means the most to the couple involved and I don’t expect more from casual friends or co-workers than a ‘congratulations’ before they move on with their day- but surely we can expect more from those closest to us?