baby registry for cash not gifts – yay or nay?

posted 1 year ago in Pregnancy
Post # 46
Member
2826 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse

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SeaOfLove :  I actually am thinking about being team green when we get pregnant. I really dislike how everything is about the gender. And I think it’s ridiculous to not be able to reuse everything baby for a second child just because it’s pink or blue. I know there have been a lot of posts recently about people having a shower for a second child and I honestly think it’s because people don’t think ahead. I want most of my future baby’s things to be able to be used for a second baby, regardlesss of the gender.

Post # 47
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7078 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

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sarathemermaid :  I do have to admit, I love buying the girl stuff now that I have a little girl, BUT when I buy things like sleep sacks, I try to buy one gender neutral one and one girlie one. I don’t care about using a girlie sleep sack for a boy, but just in case 🤷 

Post # 48
Member
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2000

Tacky

Post # 49
Member
2737 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

I wouldn’t really care if someone did this, giving cash is easier for me anyways. By creating a registry you’re still asking people to spend their money on you, so I just don’t see this is being anymore tacky than having a registry. We didn’t register for our wedding because we personally don’t feel comfortable having people spend money on us just because we decided to get married, and if we have a baby we won’t be creating a registry and won’t have a shower of any kind.

If you did this I would just skip the whole opening of the presents stuff and stick to games or whatever.

Post # 50
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8750 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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sarathemermaid :  that’s a big part of why we didn’t find out the sex ahead of time. Plus I just really love surprises and it was actually really cool to hear my husband yell “it’s a girl!” after I had just gone through a natural labor/delivery. I think the excitement of finally finding out helped me forget about the pain! Even now that we have a 1.5 year old girl at least half of her stuff is from the “boys” department. For starters she doesn’t really look good in most shades of pink. Secondly she has incredible blue eyes so I like putting her in blue to really make them pop. Thirdly, apparently simple clothes in primary colors automatically mean “boy” and I don’t understand that at all! She has some dresses that I wouldn’t put on a boy (unless he asked), but most of her wardrobe will be usable for the next kid regardless of sex. 

Post # 51
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1255 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

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sarathemermaid :  Yep, exactly the same reason why we’re publicly Team Green. (We actually do know the gender, mainly for name choosing reasons, but nobody else knows we know.)

OP, one thing that helps with a baby registry is that you really don’t have to go as deep into it as a typical wedding registry. I’ve got maybe 30 things on my baby registry right now. Sure, it’s got a few big ticket items (and if close family or a group of friends want to get together and buy it, that’s great, otherwise we’re taking full advantage of the completion discount!) and also a handful of smaller items. It’s not like you need to register for every single onesie the baby will need (as opposed to say, registering for like a full set of china or silverware on a wedding registry). I’d recommend choosing a few items in colors you like and people will probably make their own choices from there. Remember that a shower is about physical gifts- and especially at baby showers people like to buy cute things! 

Post # 52
Member
2000 posts
Buzzing bee

I don’t get why you can’t just register for the things you want? Why do you need $500 worth of gift cards to go buy $500 worth of things when you can just put the $500 worth of things on your registry and let people choose what to gift you.

Yeah, you will get somethings you didn’t register for but you don’t get to dictate or mandate gifts. I get annoyed when people say “we got things we didn’t really want or need.” Like what, how entitled can you be? Why do you get to decide a GIFT isn’t good enough because its a pink tutu and you only wanted gray onesies? It’s a gift dangit! If you don’t like it, quietly exchange it. There’s no need (IMO) to send out an invite that basically says “Please come have sandwiches, cake and punch and bring $50 cash with you.” 

Post # 54
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1255 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

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sunworshipbride :  The most expensive thing I currently have on my registry is a $379 Chicco Bravo Travel system. A couple more in the $100 range like a Pack ‘n Play and a bassinet. And pretty much everything else is in the $5-$25 range: a snot sucker, pacifiers, bottle brush, etc. I’m not expecting anyone at all to buy us the travel system, but hopefully nobody judges us for having it on there because a 20% registry completion discount on that saves like $75. 

Post # 56
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9397 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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sarathemermaid :  lol you don’t have to be team green to get neutral baby stuff. We just put that stuff on our registry and that’s what people got! Sure we had a couple off-registry things like a blue blanket and onesie, but not much (and I’d happily reuse any if it for a girl).

On topic: I think it’s tacky. And that reasoning makes no sense. You have complete control of the registry, so you can put all the things your heart desires on it. 

Post # 58
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9397 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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sunworshipbride :  all the registries I looked into had completion discounts, although the % off varied. We had an Amazon registry because it was easiest and you can use the 20% completion discount to place 2 orders.

Post # 59
Member
1255 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

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sunworshipbride :  I’m using Target and Buy Buy Baby for my “public” registries and also have a secret Amazon registry just for me. I think Target only has a 15% completion discount though.

Post # 60
Member
12814 posts
Honey Beekeeper

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sunworshipbride :  Full disclosure, I’m a traditionalist on this subject and not a fan of registries. 

https://www.uexpress.com/miss-manners/2017/3/2/1/gift-registries-are-a-bad-idea

But more permissive etiquette sources justify them on the grounds they are not list of things you are asking for, but items you, yourselves, are collecting.  Friends search them  out proactively, through a close friend hosting a shower, through a link on a third party website, through word of mouth etc. 

According to this logic, you are not asking for anything, though again, I disagree. 

But if you are going by that theory, I personally don’t see why you could not have a range of items at different price points. IMO the bigger debate is in having any registry at all, not what’s on there.

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