Post # 1
Well, it’s not a battle quite yet luckily! Here’s the story:
My older sister, we’ll call her J, is 4 months pregnant with the first baby in my immediate family. We are all very excited. Unfortunately, I am very inexperienced with how all the baby party planning works as I am still working on my own wedding that is happening later this year.
I called my mom a couple days ago and asked if she’d heard of or was already planning a shower for J. She said no, but it’s a great idea to get the ball rolling. I then call my younger sister, we’ll call her K, and propose we throw a baby shower for J. I call J and she says “That’s really nice! Although, my friend is already putting together something for me last I heard. I guess her boyfriend broke up with her and it’s the only thing that’s keeping her sane. She asked me right when I told her I was pregnant a few months ago. You can call her though if you want to.”
I haven’t called J’s friend yet. My thought is, it’s her baby shower, so if she’s ok with letting her friend throw it for her, that’s fine by me.
K on the other hand, is really upset by this. We’re a close family, and to her, this is a family affair that she thinks we should host. She feels J’s friend forced herself into it. J’s friend has not reached out to anyone in the family about the baby shower. In fact, when she was J’s Maid/Matron of Honor, I offered to help her out with the bridal shower and she completely ignored my call and e-mail. Needless to say, we don’t anticipate being included.
What would you do bees?
Post # 3
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
Why not all of the above? Let the friend throw a “friend shower” that includes only the immediate family and the mom-to-be’s friends. Then you sisters can throw a shower for the extended family only– 2 smaller showers instead of 1 larger one will make it more affordable and less drama for everyone involved and then they all get their chance.
More than likely this is what will happen when I am preggo– my sister is a control freak and none of my friends can stand her, so they’ve all pretty much told me to expect 2 showers… Personally, I pick the path of least resistance.
Post # 5
All the showers be bridal or baby that I have attended or been involved in have included hosts from the family and friends. Showers are expensive and take a lot to pull off on your own. So most of the time there is a group that does it together. I don’t see why you can’t help your sister’s friend throw the shower.
Also, depending on the size of the guest list it might make sense to have two showers. One for her girlfriends and one for the family and older family friends.
Post # 6
She may be under the impression that showers should only be thrown by friends? I would reach out to her and offer help. At the very least, you will be able to provide names and addresses for invites and perhas defray some of the cost. Showers are a lot of work so I’m sure she would appreciate some assistance.
Post # 7
You guys can totally throw a second shower – maybe smaller, with a group gift (like a stroller?), at a cute little restaurant (or a little tea salon?). That sounds like a blast.