Post # 1
DH’s cousin (L) is pregnant. Knowing that she was hoping to have her shower in late September, and that no one was stepping up/showing interest in planning it, I told her last week that I wanted to host the shower. It makes sense for me. I was fully immersed in wedding planning for a year and a half. Suddenly, the wedding is over and I am left with a major void in my life… and tons of awesome entertaining goodies that I got from my showers!
L seemed really excited and relieved that I stepped up. I’m thinking she was afraid no one would. The only problem is, when I said I was going to host it, L told me to message her step-sister on FB and make an attempt to include her in the planning. Even though the step-sister had not shown any interest in planning the shower, I do not mind including her in things if that’s what L wants. So, I sent her a message a week ago. Since, I have not gotten a response. But the step-sister is definitely on FB every single day. She is constantly liking and commenting on things. Five days ago, I showed L some invitations I had been looking at and she asked me if I had talked to her step-sister. I said no. So, L called her step-sister and told her that I had sent a message about the shower. Step-sister said she’d check the message later. Still haven’t gotten a response.
Anytime I mention any idea for the shower, whatsoever, L says something about her step-sister. Like, “Has (step-sister) messaged you back yet?” or, “Well, don’t plan everything without (step-sister)!” Well, it isn’t gonna plan itself! I want to get a theme in place, so that I can start making purchases, here and there. I want to order the invites in two weeks, so that I can have them out to the guests at the one-month mark.
What do I do? I want to respect L’s wishes to include her step-sister, but I also want to give her a nice shower and I don’t want to be rushing around at the last minute when/if her step-sister decides to get involved.
Post # 3
I would just be honest with (L) and let her know that it sounds like the step-sister isn’t interested or avoiding the planning, and you are more than willing to plan this event. I think they both (L) and step-sister are being childish to be honest with you….here you have offered to plan and host the event and they are doing everything to stop it….
Good luck in whatever you choose to do, you’re in a very precarious situation here, no matter what you say you will probably be the bad guy.
Post # 4
Agree, be honest.
“L I would love to get step-sisters feedback and help, but she doesnt appear to have the time to do this so unless I hear from her I am going to move forward so you get the shower you deserve”
Post # 5
@ThreeMeers: “L I would love to get step-sisters feedback and help, but she doesnt appear to have the time to do this so unless I hear from her I am going to move forward so you get the shower you deserve”
It’s unfortunate that the step-sister does not want to help, but I’m sure she will move on and just appreciate everything you are doing for her.
Post # 6
I would send the step-sister one final message and tell her that L wants her to be involved, but that unless I hear back from her by_____, I will have to go ahead and make decisions on my own.
If I didn’t hear from her by the deadline date, I would tell L that I was gong ahead on my own.
Post # 7
Thanks for the input! I plan to talk to L at my nearest possible convenience to let her know that I have not yet heard back from her step-sister and that I will be ordering invitations in two weeks, regardless.
I am not too sure why L is so determined for her step-sister to be involved in the shower planning. Step-sister planned L’s bridal shower and it was very evident that step-sister has no real interest in hosting parties. Which, is totally fine. Some people are into that kind of stuff and others aren’t. I just feel like L got let down at her bridal shower and I want to make sure the baby shower is a little better. If the step-sister simply wants to show up the day of and help set up, that is fine by me! I kind of feel awkward because I don’t want her to feel forced into doing things, if she doesn’t want to.