Baby shower dilemma

posted 2 weeks ago in Pregnancy
Post # 61
Member
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2025 - City, State

Have a conversation with your mother-in-law.  Plainly lay out that there are currently 27 people on the guest list, but the venue absolutely cannot accommodate more than 20 due to fire code.  Come to an agreement that there is a problem you need to solve together.

Then offer her options: “We need to either change the guest list or change the plans.  Can you cut your list down to 12 (yourself included), or do you want my mom to proceed with her plans just for me, herself, and the 6 guests from my side?  We could do a separate, larger shower for your family if you want to plan that instead.”

If she says your mom needs to cut down her list, counter with a simple “That will not be possible.  Would you prefer to invite up to 11 people beside yourself to the shower my mom is planning, or to no longer include your side of the family in that?”

Resist the urge to justify and defend why you cutting out your grandmother/sister/only aunt won’t work.  She knows she has 19 to your mom’s 7.  You aren’t going to get anywhere by trying to explain that this is uneven.

Just repeat the options calmly and politely.  Be a broken record.

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