(Closed) Baby Shower Dilemma

posted 8 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
575 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010 - Kindred Oaks, Georgetown

Maybe you could explain your thoughts to her and find a caterer that you can compromise on. Maybe someone who can provide more casual food instead of fancy stuff. I get that the party is for her, but if you’re offering to throw it, you should be able to do it how you see fit. Good Luck!

Post # 4
Member
1774 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I have never heard of a shower with 50 people.  Heck, that is larger than some weddings!  Why so many people?

Post # 7
Member
1774 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

If it were me, I would be willing to do a smaller shower and I would do it my way.  You are perfectly within your rights to say that you are able to throw a shower for x number of people, or that you are willing to have a catered shower.  IF she is not willing to do that, then she can turn you down for the shower.

Post # 8
Member
355 posts
Helper bee

How about hosting it at a park and bringing in some platters from Whole Foods etc?  That way you get casual (what she wants) and not as labor intensive (what you want).  Either that or just explain to her that you are happy to host but for time purposes need have it catered and work with her on menu.  Lots of caterers can do comfort foods or something not typically considered fancy.  Good luck! 

Post # 9
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

That is alot of people for a shower. But you can have the best of both worlds and get their favorite pizza or Chinese takeout delivered for a large crowd. Both of those cuisines are casual and on the inexpensive side compared to most caterers. Even KFC and Popeye’s cater if she prefers that menu.

While you have your own comfort level to maintain, she also needs to feel comfortable otherwise it will be awkward for her during the event.

Post # 10
Member
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

catered doesn’t necessarily mean fancy.  you can have casual food catered.  I think I would sort of meet her half way and agree to have it at the house if that’s what she wants.  the setting really sets the formality anyways.  And just explain to her that you can’t cook for that many people but will make sure that the food catered is casual.  Frankly I’ve never really heard of someone having so much involvement in their shower.  You’re throwing her the party so it’s really your call how to throw it.

Post # 11
Member
638 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2007

I’m thinking bar-b-q.  Maybe your in-laws back yard could handle that many people?  Or you could find a pavilion at a local park.

If you cater ‘bar-b-que, cole slaw, beans’ etc maybe that will feel more casual to them!

Let her know you’re excited and would love to organize/plan the shower – but the only way you’ll be able to do that is to cater.  UNLESS – his sisters are willing to maybe step in and help.  They could handle food and you could handle invites/decor or something??

Good luck!  It’s awful sweet of you to step in and offer to host – hope they see that!

Post # 12
Member
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I would suggest just telling her what you told us. Personally, I don’t feel like renting out a room is too fancy especially if it’s lunch/brunch. I’ve even seen a baby shower at Mimi’s Cafe – very casual. But if she really wants it at a parent’s house, tell her you need someone to help out. Or ask your brother or your husband (I’m not sure how you’re related) for help with getting the help. Good luck!

Post # 13
Member
440 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I agree with justeen above, tell her why you’d rather cater it in a rented location. If no one else was interested/willing to throw her a shower *and* she does indeed want a shower you should definitely be able to do it your way. Ease her mind that it won’t be *fancy catering* just low-maintenance for you! You can always cater a family-style meal which is not at all fancy.

Good luck to you! It’s super generous of you to take on hosting such a large group!

Post # 14
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

We are doing a baby shower co-ed for the same amount of people and we are going to bring in food from the local Mexican resturant.  We are going to buy a cake from the local grocery store.  Maybe you could do the same thing.  Also, just because you said you’d host doesn’t mean you have to go at it alone.  I would ask your SIL if there is anyone else who might be interested in helping out.  That way you have some help with setting up and cleaning up.

Post # 15
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

sorry if I missing something, but you offered to throw her a shower so she shouldn’t be telling you how to throw it.  I would tell her that you would still love to do this for her, but you won’t have the time required to do it her way.  so she can have a shower the way you want to throw it, or have someone else do it….seems rather ungrateful to me.

Post # 16
Member
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I think you are perfectly within your rights to say, “I’m sorry, but I can’t cook for 40-50 people.  Either we need to have the party catered in xyz location, or I need you to figure out which relatives or friends can assist with this party.”  Yes, it’s rude to start asking guests for help, but this is really her problem, not yours.  You were perfectly willing to host this party in a catered manner – if this is unacceptable to your SIL, then she should come up with solutions to give herself the type of shower she wants.

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