(Closed) Baby shower drama.

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
262 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

No, I think you are completely justified in thinking that your Future Mother-In-Law shouldnt have to go all the way out there if she is already throwing a shower herself. While I understand why they want her to go, they should understand that money is limited and she is already shelling out a bunch of money to throw her own shower and purchase a gift. I would say it is strange that they did not invite you to the shower considering you are close enough to co-host the shower with your Future Mother-In-Law. However, its probably not worth the fight considering all of the other drama…so I would just try to let it go. It sounds like there is already going to be enough drama if your Future Mother-In-Law doesnt go to the other shower. Good luck 🙂

Post # 4
Member
5761 posts
Bee Keeper

If it was in another close by town, maybe yes, she should go, even if she’s having her own shower for her. She’d probably want to, in that case.

Trying to guilt her into travelling that far is a bit ridiculous, I think. She might want to send a gift, but it’s totally unnecssary considering all she’s already doing for them.

Post # 5
Member
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Honestly, I would stay out of it.  It sounds like the issue is between Future Brother-In-Law and FMIL; I would let them work it out on their own, and stay as far away from the drama as possible.

As far as not getting a courtesy invite…  Idk, did they send out invites to all the rest of the in-laws and siblings?  I mean, if you’re the ONLY sibling/sibling in-law that didn’t get an invite, maybe I would be hurt, but otherwise, maybe they knew you weren’t going to come anyway so they just saved the invite for someone who could make it?

Post # 6
Member
2821 posts
Sugar bee

Sounds like a whole lot of drama for the sake of drama on everyones part.

If your Future Mother-In-Law doesn’t want to go then she can say no, they’ll get over it.

I’m not sure why she feels like she’d have to spend 200-300 on a gift, I’ve been to plenty of showers where the other parent is throwing/or has already thrown a shower so they just got a cute little outfit to open at the other baby shower.

If you weren’t going to go anyways they probably knew that so why send the invite?  There’s a lot of friends I didn’t mention to invite because I didn’t want them to feel any obligation to come because of the distance they’d have to travel.

Post # 7
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Just stay out of it. Didn’t you say you were aggravated about them having a baby before your wedding? If that was a different baby disregard, but if these people are a source of aggravation for you just stay out of whatever it is they are doing. I personally wouldn’t expect people at both showers.

Post # 8
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

double post

Post # 9
Member
3526 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’m with you & Future Mother-In-Law on this one.

I think it’s extremely generous of her to throw Future Sister-In-Law a shower for the baby in NY and getting them a crib!

To expect her to then go to the other shower and bring a expensive gift is a bit much.

I could understand if your Future Brother-In-Law really wanted his mom there at his wife’s shower at her hometown. I can understand the having both families there thing. But to expect another gift is ridic. If I were him and I really wanted my mom at a shower not in her city I would pay for her to come here! (BTW thanks for sprouting the idea! I’m totally going to do this if and when we are pregnant and if and when anyone throws us a baby shower here!)

Post # 10
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t think your Future Mother-In-Law is wrong. If I were her, I’d say something like “I’d love to come, but I can’t afford it. Would you be able to help out with XYZ costs?” That way it puts the ball in their court.

As for not inviting you — maybe they figured you wouldn’t come anyway due to the distance and already hosting the other shower etc. I don’t think you should be upset about it.

Post # 11
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Sounds like your FMIL’s problem to deal with. But realistically they shouldn’t expect the same people to attend both showers…that seems really odd, especially since she’s helping HOST the other one.

Post # 12
Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

IDK, I’m kinda with your Future Brother-In-Law and Future Sister-In-Law on this one. It’s their first baby, and they must be so excited to share their joy with their family. I know my Darling Husband and I would be very disappointed if his mother didn’t want to come to one of our family celebrations. It sounds like for a few tanks of gas and a Hotwire hotel, your Mother-In-Law should try to make the effort to go. Maybe she can even trade her SUV with someone who has a more efficient car if money is such a problem.

As for the gift, just have her wrap a picture of the crib and have your Future Sister-In-Law announce that that is the gift they are providing.

Post # 13
Member
2548 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Honestly,in regards to your Future Mother-In-Law attending this said baby shower, I don’t think its your business to worry about. Just stay out of it, less stress on your part.

About being invited, I would probably be hurt, and think you have a “right” so to speak, to feel that way. It doesn’t matter though, you didn’t want to go anyways, unless you just say that as a defense mechanism. If it makes you feel any better my Future Sister-In-Law can be a real snob sometimes too.

Just go with the flow, and try not to stress, its not worth it.

Post # 14
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I’m kind of with your Future Brother-In-Law & Future Sister-In-Law with regard to your FMIL making the trip for the shower.  If it is the first baby for them (and even if it isn’t) it is a big deal! They just want her there to celebrate with the other family members.  As far as your Future Mother-In-Law being expected to bring an expensive gift, I feel like that is crazy!  If she is throwing another shower and giving her a gift there, that is more than enough.  No one will notice during the out of town shower, and after your Future Mother-In-Law can talk to her and say, ‘I will give you my present at the other shower.’  I understand if she decided she can’t make the trip but I can also see being disappointed if I were the mom-to-be.

Post # 16
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Whoa, a whole lot of issues here. 1. Your Future Mother-In-Law shouldn’t be involving you by asking your opinion. Not cool. 2. It’s a family event, where her grandchild is being celebrated. Future Mother-In-Law should go, if she has been invited and if she can afford it. 3. Since she has already “showered” baby with the crib, there is no need to bring another gift. That means FMIL’s expenses for attending should just be transportation, lodging, and Burger King on the road. 4. It is not acceptable for Future Brother-In-Law to insist or demand your Future Mother-In-Law attend the shower. If he’s made it clear that he would love to have her there, and if she has politely explained that she can’t, then the polite thing for Future Brother-In-Law to do is to shut his mouth and move on. 5. As to you being invited… they should have invited you, if that invitation would have resulted in all the women on that side of the family being invited (if it’s that easy to reach 100%, why not do it?)… splitting gas and the hotel room with your Future Mother-In-Law would certainly make things more do-able… but, I’d just let it go. There’s enough drama here as it is. 

The topic ‘Baby shower drama.’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors