Post # 1
This happened about 8 years ago, but I was thinking about it recently since I now have more experience and knowledge about planning and attending baby showers (though I have not been pregnant yet). I was just wondering what people’s thoughts were on this…
My cousin and his wife had a shower and invited both men and women. Of course, there was a huge pile of gifts, good food, typical shower…
But she REFUSED to open any gifts! She claimed she was shy and didn’t like being the center of attention. It did not sit well with many of the guests. The couple just packed up the wrapped boxes and opened them at home!!
Is this normal, rude, or just plain weird?
Post # 3
I think if you invite all those people and they “shower” you with gifts, you should open them. However, my mom threw me a surprise party for my graduation and I was so stunned I wasn’t even thinking about the gifts. Plus, my family is a huge “who’s gift is the best?” competition. UGH.
Post # 4
I am not a shower guru, but every shower i have been to the person being honored has opened gifts, i mean afterall i want to see them open what i got them. I am interested to see what other posters say.
Post # 5
@heathaah: I think that is rude. I hate opening gifts- but if that is the point (which it IS at a shower- to “shower” you with gifts)- you have to GET OVER IT and open them. My two cents.
Post # 7
I’ve always seen gifts opened at a shower. Mom to be opens all of the cute little baby things and everybody watches………. I’ve seen couples open gifts given to them at engagement parties as well. Kind of like a birthday party thing…… you open your presents.
Post # 8
Hmm..maybe this is different, but at my bridal shower, I didn’t open gifts. I knew that some people had sent them ahead to our apt, and I didn’t want to make them feel uncomfortable by having everyone else’s gift opened but not theirs. But then again, baby stuff is way cuter than kitchen appliances and bedding, and I would probably want to see it too! I don’t think of it as rude though.
Post # 9
Yep, weird. I’ve never been to a baby shower where the mom DIDN’T open gifts.
Post # 10
If you’re that shy and hate being the center of attention that much, why are you having a baby shower in the first place?
Post # 11
I’ve always seen people open gifts at any kind of shower, but I wouldn’t be terribly offended if they didn’t. Frankly, it’s boring watching people open presents… so more time to just hang out and eat/drink would be lovely.
Post # 12
I think sometimes people are arm twisted into showers. I don’t personally get offended when they don’t open the gift in front of me, but I do get offended when I don’t get any sort of thanks later. That makes my blood boil, seriously. An email/facebook messiage is sufficient for me but some people don’t even thank. Personally, I hate being the center of attention and I feel really uncomfortable when people are looking at me. I don’t know why it’s just uncomfortable for me. So if I had a choice, I’d prefer not to open gifts in front of others especially if they’re sentimental gifts (I’m a cryer!). I NEVER read cards in front of people, people do that and I feel really uncomfortable especially if it’s a personal message.
Post # 13
I take a different point of view. I can’t think of anything more boring than people opening a bunch of onesies and sippy cups. I would MUCH rather bring a gift, enjoy the party, and let the couple open them afterward! But I realize that that’s not the norm. This is one reason I’m not having a bridal shower.
Post # 14
I so wish this didn’t have to be seen as rude, but alas, it is (in most people’s opinions). I totally agree with MightyWombat but since that’s not what we do, I just go with the flow at showers. I don’t personally think it’s that big of a deal because you also fed all your guests and probably provided them with alcohol, a good time, etc. Why does there have to be the witnessing of gifts opened part? Why does everyone have to see who got what, etc? I don’t personally get it. I hate opening gifts at showers and I think the watching part is boring as well. I’d so much rather open gifts at home!! (but of course, I follow protocol because I’d hate to offend people!)
Post # 15
I love the present opening part as a guest. And I like seeing the reaction as they open my present. Personally, I’m extremely shy and hate being the center of attention, which is why we’re having a couples shower so my husband can take some of that attention off of me during gift opening time.
Post # 16
I think it’s considered rude, but I don’t think it should be… if that makes sense. Seems like an etiquette rule that should change. I’ve looked at the faces of people while they watch the mom open gifts— everyone looks bored. Why put everyone through it? And the obligatory passing around of gifts at baby showers– where else would you EVER do that? Weird.
Not to mention if it’s a co-ed shower, the men clear out to watch the game during present opening, which to me, begs the question– why bother having a co-ed shower when the men aren’t shy about hiding how much they don’t enjoy so much that makes up a typical baby shower. I think not opening presents (and not having games) at a co-ed shower is especially ok.