Post # 17
What would you be thanking them for? I think thank you cards are generally in response to gifts. You wouldn’t send a thank you card to people who just attended a dinner party you hosted at your house, for example. I don’t think any card is necessary.
Post # 18
Personally, I wouldn’t send them a thank you card. My Brother-In-Law and his wife were the only ones who came to our wedding and didn’t bring a gift. I was kind of surprised…I mean, you’d think family wouldn’t do something like that. Anyway, I didn’t send them a thank you card. The fact that your Brother-In-Law and his gf were so late makes the situation even worse IMO.
Post # 19
Don’t send them a Thank You. It is NOT rude of you to “expect” gifts for a shower… that’s the point of a shower!!!!
Post # 20
It is the “point” of the shower and I would never show up empty handed. However, at least they came. I had people come to my bridal shower empty handed. I was grateful they took time away from their schedule to spend time with me. So what if they didn’t bring a gift. Guess I am just different.
Post # 21
@BeatlesFan629: I know people will say you shouldn’t expect gifts, but I think you should follow proper ettiquette as a guest just as much as you should as a host.
Yeah I don’t think I’d send a card either frankly. The point of a baby shower is to “shower with gifts” so why show up empty handed? You can go the freaking 99 cent store and put together something, come on.
Post # 22
You don’t need to send a thank you card for someone coming to a party. In this case though, I might be tempted to, in a passive-aggressive way. It does point out that you were expecting a gift and didn’t get one. 2 wrongs don’t make a right and all of that, but it might make you feel better.
Think about it first though, are they the type of people who might have gotten you a major gift and didn’t want to/have it ready/it was too big to give at the shower? It doesn’t sound like it, but sometimes people surprise you.
Post # 23
According to etiquette you only send a thank you note to thank for a gift. That is especially true in today’s materialistic culture since a note may imply that you are hinting that no present was received. While I would say one ought to bring a gift to a baby shower, because it is customary, of course there’s no entitlement on the receiving end.
Brother-In-Law and Girlfriend were definitely rude for their lateness. H could have said, is everything alright, we were worried, when they walked in. Hint, hint. It’s also possible that as immediate family he intends to get something larger later on.
Post # 24
It’s up to you if you want to send a thank you card. Maybe they will be touched you did, who knows.
The whole point of a baby shower (or any shower) is to bring a gift for the honoree… it is a gift giving event BUT I don’t think it is mandatroy to bring or send a gift. Money could be tight, who knows what their situation is. I agree it’s rude to show up late and not even offer an excuse but as far as the no gift goes, no big deal. I admit, I would be embarrassed to show up without a gift or even a simple card but I would never hold it against someone. You know them though better than we do and it must have hurt you but again, if you want to send a thank you, it might be a nice thing for them to see that you appreciated that they at least showed up… they may learn something from it.
Post # 25
@weddingmaven: I was thinking this and said it to Darling Husband too, maaaaaybe they are planning something for later, Darling Husband scoffed and didn’t think so….thing is these 2 aren’t exactly known for their generosity, and Brother-In-Law is a legit millionaire. I just know if I was planning something for later for family, I would bring a card that said something like “You’ll have to wait for your gift! *wink, wink*…. just to at least address the awkwardness. But that’s just me, I would never show up to a shower late and empty handed.
I’ll be honest, I’m tempted to send a thank you card on purpose passive aggressively.
Post # 27
It is definitely NOT rude of you to expect gifts at your shower. And no, you absolutely do not have to send them a thank you note! It sounds like they have no concern for you or your unborn child, so thanking them for their presence would be silly.
Post # 28
@Wed2Attn: Thanks, unfortunately I think that is the case.
Post # 29
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
For showers, you don’t get a “thanks” for merely showing up (unless it was some sort of arduous travel involved just to show up). No need to send them a note.
Post # 30
I was given a shower at my in-laws’ church and only one guest didn’t bring a gift. Honestly, I didn’t send a thank you. That probably makes me sound like a jerk but I was 38 weeks pregnant at that point and I had more important things to do than write an awkward “Thanks for coming” note to someone I barely know.
Post # 31
Depends on how long they were there I think. If they were there for 30 minutes because they came so late and then it was over, I’d say too bad for them. If they were 2 hours late and it went on for another 3 hours, I’d say thanks for coming, we appreciate your support. And that’s about it lol