(Closed) baby shower etiquette question for thank you cards

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 17
Member
1138 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

What would you be thanking them for? I think thank you cards are generally in response to gifts. You wouldn’t send a thank you card to people who just attended a dinner party you hosted at your house, for example. I don’t think any card is necessary. 

Post # 18
Member
1415 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Personally, I wouldn’t send them a thank you card. My Brother-In-Law and his wife were the only ones who came to our wedding and didn’t bring a gift. I was kind of surprised…I mean, you’d think family wouldn’t do something like that. Anyway, I didn’t send them a thank you card. The fact that your Brother-In-Law and his gf were so late makes the situation even worse IMO.

Post # 19
Member
4335 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Don’t send them a Thank You. It is NOT rude of you to “expect” gifts for a shower… that’s the point of a shower!!!!

Post # 20
Member
4282 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@vorpalette:  

@ThreeMeers:  

@Sunshine09:  

It is the “point” of the shower and I would never show up empty handed. However, at least they came. I had people come to my bridal shower empty handed. I was grateful they took time away from their schedule to spend time with me. So what if they didn’t bring a gift. Guess I am just different.

Post # 21
Member
7371 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@BeatlesFan629:  I know people will say you shouldn’t expect gifts, but I think you should follow proper ettiquette as a guest just as much as you should as a host. 

Yeah I don’t think I’d send a card either frankly. The point of a baby shower is to “shower with gifts” so why show up empty handed? You can go the freaking 99 cent store and put together something, come on. 

 

 

 

Post # 22
Member
10650 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

You don’t need to send a thank you card for someone coming to a party.  In this case though, I might be tempted to, in a passive-aggressive way.  It does point out that you were expecting a gift and didn’t get one.  2 wrongs don’t make a right and all of that, but it might make you feel better.  Smile

Think about it first though, are they the type of people who might have gotten you a major gift and didn’t want to/have it ready/it was too big to give at the shower?  It doesn’t sound like it, but sometimes people surprise you.

Post # 23
Member
12316 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

According to etiquette you only send a thank you note to thank for a gift.  That is especially true in today’s materialistic culture since a note may imply that you are hinting that no present was received. While I would say one ought to bring a gift to a baby shower, because it is customary,  of course there’s no entitlement on the receiving end.

Brother-In-Law and Girlfriend were definitely  rude for their lateness. H could have said, is everything alright, we were worried, when they walked in.  Hint, hint. It’s also possible that as immediate family he intends to get something larger later on. 

Post # 24
Member
2692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

It’s up to you if you want to send a thank you card.  Maybe they will be touched you did, who knows.  

The whole point of a baby shower (or any shower) is to bring a gift for the honoree… it is a gift giving event BUT I don’t think it is mandatroy to bring or send a gift.  Money could be tight, who knows what their situation is.  I agree it’s rude to show up late and not even offer an excuse but as far as the no gift goes, no big deal.  I admit, I would be embarrassed to show up without a gift or even a simple card but I would never hold it against someone.  You know them though better than we do and it must have hurt you but again, if you want to send a thank you, it might be a nice thing for them to see that you appreciated that they at least showed up… they may learn something from it.

Post # 26
Member
2402 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@abbie017:  Ditto.

Post # 27
Member
436 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

It is definitely NOT rude of you to expect gifts at your shower. And no, you absolutely do not have to send them a thank you note! It sounds like they have no concern for you or your unborn child, so thanking them for their presence would be silly.

Post # 29
Member
7310 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

For showers, you don’t get a “thanks” for merely showing up (unless it was some sort of arduous travel involved just to show up). No need to send them a note.

Post # 30
Member
4581 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I was given a shower at my in-laws’ church and only one guest didn’t bring a gift. Honestly, I didn’t send a thank you. That probably makes me sound like a jerk but I was 38 weeks pregnant at that point and I had more important things to do than write an awkward “Thanks for coming” note to someone I barely know.

Post # 31
Member
5659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Depends on how long they were there I think. If they were there for 30 minutes because they came so late and then it was over, I’d say too bad for them. If they were 2 hours late and it went on for another 3 hours, I’d say thanks for coming, we appreciate your support. And that’s about it lol

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