(Closed) Baby Shower Etiquette Question

posted 8 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
4824 posts
Honey bee

She may be insulted, but if you dont know her and she is doing her friend (your MIL) a favor then she may also be happy to have fewer people there (but I do wonder why she turned down the help)

Because you dont know her and your friend already to try to co-host it I think you are more than allowed to have two for the two groups. I would be sure to talk to your Mother-In-Law as well just to ensure she doesnt get annoyed either since it is her friend. Let her know that your friend really wanted to do this for you and since she can’t co-host would like to throw one for your friends only.

Post # 5
2866 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Yeah I wouldn’t sweat it. If anything tell her to invite your friends, they can decline and just act like your girlfriend surprised you with the shower later since they couldn’t make it.

My wedding shower that my SIL threw was just family. My girlfriends came in later and we celebrated together.

Post # 6
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I had 2 showers. One for familly/moms friends and one for my friends. I dont think it’s a big deal. If she is offended then tell her the truth, that your friends want to throw you a shower also. If she gets offended how is that YOUR fault?

Post # 7
820 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

If they’re easily-offendable people, then it’s probably pretty likely that she/they will be offended. I wouldn’t let that discourage you from accepting your best friend’s offer to throw you a shower. She is your best friend, after all, while you hardly know this other woman. Plus, your friend offered to help and she declined. I’m wondering if you mentioned to her that your friend really wants to throw you a shower and since Host A said they were all set, she’s probably going to throw you a shower- before you actually agreed to it. When she realizes that, she may reconsider and allow your friend to help? And if she still says no, at least she was forewarned?

I declined a bridal shower from my great aunt and said my sister (MOH) and bridesmaids really wanted to throw it. She was probably offended, but when the time came for the shower, I was really relieved that I had made that decision. That might happen to you, or at least looking back on the event one day, you might be glad that your best friend got to be involved in such a special event.

Good luck!

Post # 8
439 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I wouldn’t worry about offending someone you’ve only met twice, and who is hosting a ‘reciprocal’ shower. Sounds like you and your friends might have a better time on your own anyway! 

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