Post # 1
Hi all — I need your thoughts!
My MIL’s good friend (let’s call her Host A) is throwing me a baby shower. I actually barely know her (I’ve met her maybe twice) but my Mother-In-Law threw her daughter a shower a few years ago so I think Host A is just reciprocating. The planning has been going fine, although Host A is a bit of any icy person. We have not yet created the guest list.
My best friend asked Host A if she could co-host the shower with her. Host A said “no thanks, we have it covered.” My best friend has now asked me if she can host another shower. My best friend proposed that her shower would be for my friends, while Host A’s shower would be for my MIL’s friends.
Do you all think that Host A will be offended if I don’t invite any of my friends to her shower? Do you think she’ll be offended that my best friend is throwing another shower for my for “my friends?” I’m pretty worried about it honest, as Host A, and my Mother-In-Law, are kind of “easily-offendable” personalities….
Thanks for any and all thoughts!!!
Post # 3
She may be insulted, but if you dont know her and she is doing her friend (your MIL) a favor then she may also be happy to have fewer people there (but I do wonder why she turned down the help)
Because you dont know her and your friend already to try to co-host it I think you are more than allowed to have two for the two groups. I would be sure to talk to your Mother-In-Law as well just to ensure she doesnt get annoyed either since it is her friend. Let her know that your friend really wanted to do this for you and since she can’t co-host would like to throw one for your friends only.
Post # 4
Bumping this in case anyone else has thoughts. Thanks!
Post # 5
Yeah I wouldn’t sweat it. If anything tell her to invite your friends, they can decline and just act like your girlfriend surprised you with the shower later since they couldn’t make it.
My wedding shower that my SIL threw was just family. My girlfriends came in later and we celebrated together.
Post # 6
I had 2 showers. One for familly/moms friends and one for my friends. I dont think it’s a big deal. If she is offended then tell her the truth, that your friends want to throw you a shower also. If she gets offended how is that YOUR fault?
Post # 7
If they’re easily-offendable people, then it’s probably pretty likely that she/they will be offended. I wouldn’t let that discourage you from accepting your best friend’s offer to throw you a shower. She is your best friend, after all, while you hardly know this other woman. Plus, your friend offered to help and she declined. I’m wondering if you mentioned to her that your friend really wants to throw you a shower and since Host A said they were all set, she’s probably going to throw you a shower- before you actually agreed to it. When she realizes that, she may reconsider and allow your friend to help? And if she still says no, at least she was forewarned?
I declined a bridal shower from my great aunt and said my sister (MOH) and bridesmaids really wanted to throw it. She was probably offended, but when the time came for the shower, I was really relieved that I had made that decision. That might happen to you, or at least looking back on the event one day, you might be glad that your best friend got to be involved in such a special event.
Post # 8
I wouldn’t worry about offending someone you’ve only met twice, and who is hosting a ‘reciprocal’ shower. Sounds like you and your friends might have a better time on your own anyway!
Post # 9
Thanks for all the advice everyone… I ended up telling my best friend it would probably be best not to throw the shower. I know that’s not what you all advised, but … there are just some complexities to this situation, and I just don’t want to deal with worrying about offense or blowback. My best friend understood (she has her own in law issues) so I think it will be fine….