Post # 1
Sigh. I need some help.
Our first baby is due at the end of September. A close friend has offered to host a baby shower for us. After much thought, we decided we wanted a coed shower. And we realized that we would be looking at a shower of around 60 people when you counted our families and friends.
Around the same time, my husband’s cousin offered to host a shower. So, we decided to have two: one for family members, one for friends. Husband’s cousin would host the one for family, my friend would host the other one, for our friends.
Well, that’s where the similarities end. In the evite, my friend wrote “Let me know if you’d like to bring a dish!” Almost no one responded to her that they would bring a dish. I had fully intended to help prepare a dish or two, but when my husband offered to grill, she jumped on it. Now she’s bringing maybe two dishes, plus favors. So I’m really getting the feeling that we’re hosting our own shower here. We’re expecting 24 people.
Furthermore, my friend asked if she and her husband could stay over the night before. They live almost two hours away and don’t want to drive up in one day and back the same day. My husband agreed but now I think he wishes he didn’t. I kind of wish we didn’t, either, because she smokes and the smoke tends to linger on her. I don’t want her in my house if she reeks of smoke.
Plus, I’ll admit, I’m kind of annoyed that this seems to be falling into our laps, that we’re hosting our own party. Couple this with the fact that very, very little has been purchased from our registry up to this point, and the shower is one week from Saturday.
I’d love some guidance on how to move forward. Many thanks.
Post # 3
@eurekaanchovies: Ask your friend to reach out to those on the list to ask them what they will be bringing. Tell her you do not want to end up with a party without food and drinks.
Unfortunately it is too late about them staying over, but you can ask that she not smoke within 10 feet of the house so it doesnt blow inside.
And make the grilling simple. Do hot dogs and premade burgers. Orrrr have your friend request from a few of the guests to bring a pre-marinaded meat, buns from another, soda from another.
Potlucks need to be organized and she left it way to wide open. Ask her to coordinated better.
Post # 4
@lefeymw: ditto! Your friend has a thing or two to learn about party planning. She needs to quickly send another email asking the guests to confirm what dish they are bringing. She was way too loose in her first email. People will step up when they realize it is a pot-luck, not just a survey to see if they are interested in bringing a dish.
Post # 5
Honestly, I think you just have to grin and bear it. If your friends are like me, I don’t purchase anything until the day before/day of the shower because I’m a last minute shopper, so I wouldn’t worry about the registry bit. As for the food, I would ask your friend to come a bit early the day before and you guys hit Costco together for a few trays of fruit/veggies, and some of their premade food. If yours has the butter chicken it is to DIE for (we just add in some veggies and chickpeas since it’s literally a tray of chicken and nothing else). Or you could always do buns and coldcuts for sandwiches. Grab a sheet cake and some little cookies and brownies for dessert. Cheap and cheerful. Plus it’s all the guilty pleasures no one will buy for themselves but looks forward to at events like showers!
Post # 6
Just a heads up on the registry– I have never been to a shower (my 2 included) where the mom-to-be got more than an item or 2 off her registry. I have heard of other experiences where the guests actually did purchase gifts off the registry, but that has never happened at the 5 that I’ve been to. Baby shower guests only give clothes. Just look at the shower as an opportunity to celebrate your LO with people who are excited about baby’s arrival– not as a shower per se.
Post # 7
I agree with Red Seattle- good advice. I think all showers should be looked at as a celebration for Baby and not a means to pay for all things needed for baby.
Post # 8
Thanks for the responses, everyone.
@ red_seattle and Tatum: Yes, truly, you’re both right, of course. The focus is on the baby, and I realize after reading my post that I probably shouldn’t have even mentioned the registry. It’s really just stemming from frustration that we’re going to be doing so much of the cooking ourselves, while I’m seven months pregnant, and it’s likely to be pretty hot.
But let’s find some positive: All in all, regardless of who does what, it’s going to be a great celebration, and everyone will have a good time. Thanks for the reminder.