Baby shower for 2nd baby

posted 2 months ago in Babies
Post # 2
Member
356 posts
Helper bee

I think if the babies are really far apart or different genders its generally more accepted. I think with it being same gender and pretty close in age I’d be side eyeing her.

Post # 3
Member
1610 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Are you in the UK? I assume so given you say they are only just becoming a thing here. I’m in the uk and hate baby showers. 

Id go and not bother with a gift. Have the cake and celebration. It’s more common here to give the gift after baby is born anyway. Plus none of the etiquette is ‘fixed’ yet. 

 

Post # 4
Member
160 posts
Blushing bee

Twizbe :  please god let it never become “fixed” etiquette here!!!

as a general rule of thumb I never give gifts or anything before a baby is born.. call it being cautious?

OP I would go and not bring a gift. As you’ll said you’ll getting one later anyhow.  I’d never pass up tea and cake tho! ☺️

Post # 8
Member
1610 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

butternutter :  Oh I hope not. I didn’t have one with my first and wont with my second either. They are too American for my liking. Plus I feel they are counting your chickens a bit. Much rather wait until baby is here safely and then give a gift.

OP – the gift sounds lovely. I had a bunnykins bowl when I was little and I always loved eating out of it.

Post # 9
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee

missviolet92 :  missviolet92 :  in my area, a smaller more casual get together for 2nd+ time  mamas is common (in a major city in Canada). In my circle of friends specifically, gifts are given but mostly diapers and frozen meals. Usually a couple cute outfits too because people can’t resist cute baby clothes, lol. I do know some people who have done registries but I know just as many who didn’t, so not sure what is more common. 

When I get invited to things now, I always get a gift for the shower then bring food for the mama/family when we meet the baby. Works for me and most of my friend circle.

Post # 10
Member
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I’ve never gotten the hate for 2nd baby showers. Is the 2nd baby somehow less deserving of celebration than the 1st? Are you also against wedding celebrations for a 2nd marriage?

Post # 14
Member
3300 posts
Sugar bee

I am not opposed to baby showers for the first baby.  I am for the second baby.  For some reason they have been getting popular here and I am not a fan – even when you try to call it some cutesy name like a sprinkle.   Ugh.  And I know there are a subset of people who will call me a spoilsport and say it is about celebrating the baby and every baby needs to be celebrated.  I call bullsh*t.  Baby ain’t even here yet.  The entire purpose of a shower is to gift the parents items needed for the baby – it isn’t about celebrating the baby.  If it was about celebrating the baby, it wouldn’t be a gift-giving party before the baby is even born.  Do a “sip and see” luncheon meet and greet whatever after the baby is born.  Or just have a barbecue without any connection to it being a shower or other gift giving event so that it is in fact a celebration.

I also hear the “but they didn’t keep all their baby stuff because they moved” or whatever argument.  At a certain point, I’m done funding your life decisions though.  I will get you something appropriately celebratory for when the baby gets here, but I’m done buying you Pack n Plays.

There is some leeway.  For instance one shower was for a woman who had an 11 year gap between kids (and having twins to boot).  It was very small with only family and a couple very close friends.  

Post # 15
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee

missviolet92 :  I have also seen people split their gift as well, and bring most of it to the shower and then a token thing (like an outfit) when they meet the baby. Although it is likely north america just differs a lot culturally from NZ. I only have one baby but did have some friends also just bring a gift to my shower, and when they dropped by to meet the baby offer to bring coffee/muffins/breakfast, more for immediate consumption rather than to freeze. Honestly, I didn’t care if/what they brought when they came to meet my son, I was just excited for company/adult conversation 🤪

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