Baby shower for 2nd baby

posted 1 year ago in Babies
Post # 47
Member
3520 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

kristin36890 :  I enjoy giving gifts, and I enjoy celebrating milestones with my loved ones. What I don’t enjoy are events that are specifically geared toward gifts – that serve literally no other purpose but to give gifts. If someone wants to give you a gift to celebrate your new baby, they can give you a gift next time they visit or drop one off. With regard to wedding showers, people are already celebrating with the couple at the actual wedding, and many at bachelor/bachelorette parties, so the showers really aren’t about celebrating anything – they’re about gifts. I just find the whole concept of events that re solely built around gifts to be kind of weird and I really don’t find them fun. I certianly don’t go around telling people not to have them, and I have thankfully so far never had anyone call me out or give me shit for not attending.

Post # 48
Member
1727 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

See I’m the type that doesn’t want to know the gender til it’s born. So I plan for a unisex first baby shower, and then never need another baby shower again after that. 

However, I can see some value in that, well, 20 years have gone by and whoops you’re pregnant again after selling and getting rid of everything. That’s easier to forgive than a second baby shower just 2 years after another one for the same gender. 

I’m gonna side-eye lol

Post # 50
Member
78 posts
Worker bee

I’ve never understood why there is such a big no-no for a 2nd baby shower. Can anyone explain it?

Post # 51
Member
704 posts
Busy bee

I’m from the states and will not attend second baby showers. Baby showers are supposed to be about showering the parents with gifts for their baby, typically big ticket gifts like car seats, strollers, etc. I would hope the parents held onto to those items and most of the smaller ticket items as well so they could reuse. I did go to a second baby shower once but that was for someone who never planned on having a second child but ended up pregnant and there was a 14 year age gap between the two children, in that case I don’t blame the parents for not holding onto baby items. 

Post # 52
Member
1678 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

missviolet92 :  I’m not about second baby showers at all.  I think the first one is 1. to accumulate baby stuff because that is expensive and 2. Celebrate the woman becoming a mum.  Once you are on to your second, you should have a good amount of baby stuff and you are already a mum, you’ll just be having another baby. 

That said, I’m not a mum at all, but I imagine if I was about to have my second, I would probably like to have a small giftless celebration with my closest girls/people before I gave birth, as it’s probably going to be a while before I’m ready to see them after the babies born with a toddler running around. .   

I think go, don’t take a gift or only take something really small, and bring a gift when you meet bubs.  

Post # 53
Member
1105 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

2nd showers are tacky. As a parent (or parent to be), if you plan on having multiple children, then you should buy all expensive baby gear gender neutral. If you don’t want to do that- you should expect to buy your future opposite sex baby all new things out of YOUR pocket. It’s just gift grabby and so unnecessary 

 

ETA- I may be more lenient if the kids have a massive age gap. I knew someone who had a baby when her other was 15. She didn’t do a shower, but I could sort of understand at that point. But that doesn’t happen often 

Post # 54
Member
9580 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

megm1099 :  unless you have twins+ after a singleton.

Interestingly the ppl I know who this has happened to didn’t do a second baby shower, but I certainly wouldn’t have judged them if they had!

Post # 55
Member
1727 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

amanda1988 :  Oh I didn’t even think of that! Of course! I would 100% not roll my eyes if I saw a mother of multiples having another baby shower 🙂 

Post # 56
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 1998

I’m all for celebrating every baby born. I seriously have zero problems with it. I love baby showers and if I’m invited to one, I’m close enough to momma that I want to be excited with her for her upcoming birth. 

Post # 57
Member
434 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2020

Australian bee here, I LOVE baby showers and I think that low-key 2nd baby showers are fine; 

However, australian baby showers (at least the ones I’ve been to) are no where near as full on as what other bees are describing. Baby shower probably isn’t even the right word to describe the event as it’s not about the gifts it’s about celebrating becoming a mum and the new baby, having a cake and a chat before she gets busy with a newborn. People do generally bring a card and a small gift maybe a cute onesie or a bib. No one would EVER gift big necessity items like prams/ carseats/ moniters etc;

Most people will send their gift once the baby is born instead.

What I find most bizarre is the idea that a 2nd shower is a no-no unless there is a large gap? Like, no you can’t celebrate you 2nd child unless you’re unprepared and need gifts?

Post # 58
Member
9580 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

littlemisspetite :  i think it’s more that people want to help when they know the parents are going to have to spend thousands to get all the baby gear they need.. but aren’t quite as interested in dropping a significant amount of money when the parents already have almost everything.

Post # 60
Member
1410 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

missviolet92 :  I’m in NZ and would seriously side eye somebody having a “shower” for a second baby but I have had friends host a small dessert evening without any obligation to bring a gift.

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