- 2 years ago
- Wedding: October 2020
But if you’re asking me to buy you a brand new car seat when I know you already have a perfectly good one, you just want brand new again, I’m gonna side eye.
I dislike events that have the main purpose is getting gifts. Even worse when guests are put through mind numbing games (I went to a baby shower a few years ago and one of the ‘games’ was all the womwn taking turns to see how fast they could put laundry out on the line. Cringe. The guys all got to go to the pub!). I live in Australia. Some people have baby showers here, many don’t. I don’t plan on having one. It is definitely considered tacky to have one for a second baby. Also hate the term ‘sprinkle’. Nope, not cute. That being said, I am always excited for friends having a baby and will always give them something!
For my second baby shower, I plan on going by myself to get a prenatal massage and some pampering, paid for by myself. Unless a pregnant mom friend wants to join. Any takers?
In my circle, having a second baby shower isn’t a big deal regardless of gender, age gap, and singleton/multiples. I don’t mind second showers, but after the second I’m not attending the third, fourth, etc. I actually do enjoy the fun environment of baby showers. Maybe because its for my closests friends and family. Now, I was just invited to a shower and I haven’t seen/talked to the girl in YEARS! Now in my mind, that’s purely gift grabbing!
(US) What bothers me most is that its gotten to the point where you can’t celebrate a subsequent baby without seeming gift-grabby because baby celebrating events are associated with asking for very expensive very specific gifts no matter what you call it.
For that reason I care less what #baby it is and more how its done. You could have a second baby shower where you only ask for small items or don’t ask for anything, invite close family and friends, and hang out at a reasonable place and time. Or you can have a first baby shower where you ask for all kinds of expensive things- I have seen registries with multiple car seats, multiple beds, AND multiple strollers for a first singleton-, invite complete strangers and people you don’t hang out with, hold it at an upscale restaurant un-hosted of course, and run until 1am. If a friend or close family member has a baby #1 or #10 I will get a gift, but a gift to me is different than outfitting the nursery and that doesn’t change just because its the first child.
So I guess my point is that if showers were done how I think showers should be done it wouldn’t bother me to have the for second, etc babies. How they’re done now is the equivalent of if people asked for furniture on wedding registries or desks and cars for graduation gifts.
I am pretty firmly against showers (Or “Sprinkles”, if the term makes you feel better, but let’s be honest, they serve the same purpose) for subsequent children. I don’t even care about the genders and age gap, at some point you should be supporting your own decision to make a child – intentional or not.
If it’s exactly what she said it was, and just a get together – then great! Go celebrate with them. If it’s a shower then that’s something different, and I’d be side-eying.
My daughter is almost 3, and we’re due again in November. I’ve created a private Amazon registry – mostly just to keep track of things I’d like to buy – but it’s hard to even add things, as there’s literally NOTHING that we NEED for this baby. If people ask what we need, I’ll share the link with them but I’m definitely not partaking in a shower.