Post # 61
Member
435 posts
Helper bee
missviolet92 : That being said, I only know of one 2nd- baby shower which I was unable to attend haha, so it’s definitely NOT a common thing, but I don’t think it should necessarily be a bad thing or a big no-no.
amanda1988 : I think that’s where our cultures differ? I would find it very strange and almost a little offensive/intrusive if someone felt they needed to set up my nursery for me… Also, what if they didn’t get the right brand or if you weren’t sure it was something you were going to even use? I feel like small gifts like onesies and blankets – which you can never have enough of – are more appreciated (and are usually gifted for each child anyway).
Post # 62
Member
9578 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
littlemisspetite : yeah.. that’s why people register, and I think personally where room for eye rolling comes in. I’m more than happy to get a cute small thing for a second child.. diapers, a sweater, etc..
But if you’re asking me to buy you a brand new car seat when I know you already have a perfectly good one, you just want brand new again, I’m gonna side eye.
Post # 63
Member
870 posts
Busy bee
I dislike events that have the main purpose is getting gifts. Even worse when guests are put through mind numbing games (I went to a baby shower a few years ago and one of the ‘games’ was all the womwn taking turns to see how fast they could put laundry out on the line. Cringe. The guys all got to go to the pub!). I live in Australia. Some people have baby showers here, many don’t. I don’t plan on having one. It is definitely considered tacky to have one for a second baby. Also hate the term ‘sprinkle’. Nope, not cute. That being said, I am always excited for friends having a baby and will always give them something!
Post # 64
Member
1080 posts
Bumble bee
For my second baby shower, I plan on going by myself to get a prenatal massage and some pampering, paid for by myself. Unless a pregnant mom friend wants to join. Any takers?
Post # 65
Member
551 posts
Busy bee
In my circle, having a second baby shower isn’t a big deal regardless of gender, age gap, and singleton/multiples. I don’t mind second showers, but after the second I’m not attending the third, fourth, etc. I actually do enjoy the fun environment of baby showers. Maybe because its for my closests friends and family. Now, I was just invited to a shower and I haven’t seen/talked to the girl in YEARS! Now in my mind, that’s purely gift grabbing!
Post # 66
Member
1083 posts
Bumble bee
(US) What bothers me most is that its gotten to the point where you can’t celebrate a subsequent baby without seeming gift-grabby because baby celebrating events are associated with asking for very expensive very specific gifts no matter what you call it.
For that reason I care less what #baby it is and more how its done. You could have a second baby shower where you only ask for small items or don’t ask for anything, invite close family and friends, and hang out at a reasonable place and time. Or you can have a first baby shower where you ask for all kinds of expensive things- I have seen registries with multiple car seats, multiple beds, AND multiple strollers for a first singleton-, invite complete strangers and people you don’t hang out with, hold it at an upscale restaurant un-hosted of course, and run until 1am. If a friend or close family member has a baby #1 or #10 I will get a gift, but a gift to me is different than outfitting the nursery and that doesn’t change just because its the first child.
So I guess my point is that if showers were done how I think showers should be done it wouldn’t bother me to have the for second, etc babies. How they’re done now is the equivalent of if people asked for furniture on wedding registries or desks and cars for graduation gifts.
Post # 67
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee
I am pretty firmly against showers (Or “Sprinkles”, if the term makes you feel better, but let’s be honest, they serve the same purpose) for subsequent children. I don’t even care about the genders and age gap, at some point you should be supporting your own decision to make a child – intentional or not.
Post # 68
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee
missviolet92 : I honestly think if it is just cake and celebrating then that is no biggie. I wouldn’t feel obligated to bring a gift, although I probably wouldn’t go unless it was someone I was really close with. I hate baby showers too. At my work we have baby celebrations for every single kid (some are on like their 3rd or 4th) and we even have baby showers for the Men who are becoming fathers (even their 3rd or 4th kid LOL). I think it is ridiculous. You get one shower then its just a “congratulations” text from me after that.
Post # 69
Member
475 posts
Helper bee
If it’s exactly what she said it was, and just a get together – then great! Go celebrate with them. If it’s a shower then that’s something different, and I’d be side-eying.
My daughter is almost 3, and we’re due again in November. I’ve created a private Amazon registry – mostly just to keep track of things I’d like to buy – but it’s hard to even add things, as there’s literally NOTHING that we NEED for this baby. If people ask what we need, I’ll share the link with them but I’m definitely not partaking in a shower.
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