Post # 17
Most people in my circle are VERY against subsequent baby showers and they’re rarely done. My friends mother threw her a shower for her second but it was known to be a gift grab (they invited like 50 people and registered). I still went and gave a gift but it was an outfit, not a registry item. Her first child was only 3 years older but she said she wanted all new stuff. Um, tough shit. The shower totally rubbed a lot of people the wrong way but what’re ya gonna do? Never even got a thank you card but that doesn’t surprise me.
I don’t really have an issue with a sprinkle if it’s kept small and simple but when you get into having a shower that’s just as big, if not bigger than the first one, thats a bit much.
Post # 18
I have never heard of this not being done! I threw my best friend a huge shower for her 2nd and her kids are only 2 years apart. Her first was a boy and her 2nd was a girl.
2 of my sisters just had their 2nd and 3rd kids and they both had showers too. Maybe it’s a regional thing?
Post # 19
I’ve never attended a 2nd baby shower but I think the idea of a sprinkle is great. I think anymore than a 2nd shower is a bit much. I told my best friend that I couldn’t imagine having a another shower, especially because she hosted my first.
Post # 20
As you’ve guessed, it depends. Generally, it’s not done if the children are close in age because it’s assumed that M&D pretty much have all the essentials. This is true even if the children are different genders. But then, some people think that it’s important to acknowledge and celebrate the second child as they did the first, so you can have it.
My advice is that unless it’s really common in your region (and no one NOT from your region is attending), be a little careful about the registry and the gifts. One idea is to not call it a shower, since “shower” means gifts–maybe just a “new baby celebration” or “a party to celebrate the Smith family’s forthcoming addition” or whatever. Other ideas:
-write “no gifts please” on the invite
-give hte gifts a theme–like ask people to bring their favorite children’s book
-provide cards and SASE and ask guests to send back their best advice on raising 2 kids or a boy/girl (if the second kid is a different gender) or advice to the first child on having a sibling or whatever and then bind them togehter in a book for the parents
-have a onesie/blanket decorating party–purchase a bunch of onesies for different ages (you can get bunches cheap at Target or WalMart) and provide fabric pens for guests to decorate while they’re at the party
-ask for frozen food which the couple can store and enjoy after the kid’s born (although this only works if you’ve got a modest number of people and said couple has enough freezer space!)–an alternative is to ask for favorite quick and easy recipes which also can be frozen ahead of time
Post # 21
I am having a baby shower for #2. DS will be 4 when LO is born and DS is from a previous relationship. I have non of things from DS as I didn’t think I would have anymore kids. Darling Husband has no kids of his own and it is the first grandchild in 15 years for his family. Under these circumstances I believe it is fine to have a baby shower. It will be a small intimate get together with just family and very close friends but we will be registering.
Post # 22
Typically the only reason to have a shower for baby #2 if its with a new husband. Other than that its pretty tacky…:(
Post # 23
Thanks everyone for your thoughts…very interesting to get the different perspectives out there. As some PP have stated, I do want to celebrate her new baby, so I’ll attempt to do it anway that will not be perceived as “gift-grabby” so maybe takign inviting friens out to brunch or something in celebration.
Post # 24
I think something like a diaper or book shower would be appropriate, but around here its kind of frowned upon to have a shower for the second child…
Post # 25
I think a second legitimate shower is fine in a variety of situations. Different gender, been awhile, new spouse, etc. Plus a lot of friends I know pass on their baby items when friends or family have babies, and may genuinely need some items. If it’s a same gendered baby close in age, a diaper shower or book shower or just fun acknowledgement party would probably be more appropriate.
Post # 26
i have never gotten why a woman having a second baby, regardless of time between the two chidren, difference of gender, is not allowed to have another shower. this is a differnet baby, a different time, and a different time to celebrate! why even call it a “sprinkle?” have a damn shower and call it one!
to me it is like saying to someone. oh, you already had a birthday party. when you were 12, remember that time? you had fun at your 12 th birthday party and you’ll never get another one so get over it. you are not allowed to celebrate another birthday party ever.
give your friend a baby shower. and call it that!
Post # 27
I think a co-ed, BBQ type “sprinkle” is an awesome idea for a second shower. I think the “appropriateness” of a second shower depends on the circumstances & how it is presented, but, overall, I have no problem with a 2nd shower as long as it is offered and not expected.
Post # 28
@Ms. Gertie: Looks like Im tacky then… Thank you for your wisdom… There is nothing wrong if you have loved ones who are throwing it and your family is excited about it I never got one rude. comment about having a 2nd baby shower/sprinkle/Whatever. Saying something is Tacky is Rude In My Humble Opinion just because you dont agree with it doenst mean you have to bring down the people who do.
Post # 29
I think it depends on your group of friends (people that would be invited) and the scale/type of the “shower”
I have to agree with @MsPanda: My friend had a second child, (16 months after her first one) and we (her friends) wanted to throw her a party/shower. She was mortified at the idea because she didn’t want people to think it was a gift grab, and she still had tons of things from her first child. We ended up making a compromise, and had a “meet and greet” bbq, where everyone (wives, husbands, and children) were invited. I actually think it went over better then the shower that we gave for her first child!
Post # 30
Everyone I’ve known has had a baby shower for #2. At work we even had one for a #4, which was her 4th in 6 years. They did a diaper shower for her but people were a little put off. But everyone else was pregnant and expecting one for #1 so they felt they had to do it.
I heard the “rules” about it being a different gender, a different guy, too many years in between but nobody I know has followed that. Now most of the people I know I didn’t know when they had #1 so they are having big blowouts for #2 and #3….even though they are same gender, same husband, and not even 2 years apart. I love baby showers and hope to have just 1 one day so I still participate!
Post # 31
The reason behind a “shower” is to help the new mom-to-be transition from a life of not having a child to having a baby. It’s similar to giving people wedding presents to set up their new home. Once she’s already had a baby, another one is not a new life stage for her, and that’s why a second shower is not thrown. Generally, even if the second baby is of a different gender, the parents are expected to be able to buy their own stuff for the baby, or re-use the first baby’s things.
That isn’t to say that babies who are not the first born can’t be celebrated. But the parents should not expect to receive a whole bunch of gifts for 2nd, 3rd, 4th babies. That would be greedy. If friends insist on throwing a party, that’s their perogative, but it is not supposed to be a required gift-giving occasion.