Post # 1
- Wedding: May 2020 - Our home and the two acres it sits on
My family lives across the country, so when my mom came to visit in April, she organized a “virtual” baby shower – my family sent gifts and we took goofy pictures of ourselves opening them.
About a month ago, my Mother-In-Law emailed me to ask about a baby shower for local folks, but as I asked questions, I realized she was thinking we’d host it here at our house, would figure out the details, and would handle the invites.
Granted, we threw our own wedding, but I found that to be a little awkward already (hi, we’re throwing our own party!). I’m super uncomfortable about throwing/ hosting our own shower.
I think it would even be okay if it was at our house and someone else (ahem) organized the details, but I’m guessing that won’t happen.
So, what would you do? I can wrangle the details and go with the flow, or we won’t have a “real” baby shower, which I’m halfway disappointed about and halfway relieved. I think that celebrating this kiddo could be fun, but I also tend to be awkward in the spotlight, and this spotlight will be firmly shined on my mid-section, ugg.
Anyone else uncomfortable about having a baby shower? Anyone else basically throwing their own?
Post # 3
I understand not loving the spot light. Our shower is coed so I can have my husband there with me to take some of the pressure off. I think for pure financial reasons, we NEED to have a baby shower. I can’t afford to buy all of that stuff, I don’t know what we would have done without a shower!
Do you have anyone that you can ask for help with the shower? Mabye you can tell them you’re busy, and tired from the pregnancy, and it’s a lot to do alone!
Post # 4
Honestly, I think it’s poor ettiquite to throw your own shower. That’s basically a gift grab. I agree you deserve a shower, and it sounds like your husbands’s side of the family wants to celebrate with you. Can you get together with her and at least give the appearance that SHE’S the one hosting the party, even if you have to do all the planning?
Post # 5
No one is throwing us one, so I’m thinking about just having a party to celebrate the new kid without mentioniing that it’s a shower, just a pre-welcome party because I really want one. Why not do something like that?
Post # 6
I think you should tell her that if they all want to celebrate then thats fine because you would love that. But then explain that you think its rude to throw and host your own shower. I also had a coed shower so all of our family and friends could be there. It was a good thing. It made me more comfortable. And it was just fun to have the dynamic of a guy in the games and such.
Post # 7
Ours was at our house but one of my girlfriends from out of town “hosted” it. She took care of invites (I designed them and she paid for them and sent them) and paid for and prepped food (which I picked out) and coordinated games. So I kind of helped plan but that was because she asked me what I wanted. I liked having it at our house because it was really convenient plus then everyone got to see our nursery.
If your Mother-In-Law is asking about it can’t she help organize it (especially if it’s mostly for her side of the family)? Even if it was at your house all she’d need to do is invitations and coordinate food.
Post # 8
I would say go ahead and host your own but you don’t seem comfortable with the idea. Can you just straight out tell your Mother-In-Law that you’re not comfortable with organizing your own shower? Or can you tell someone else in the family (SIL, maybe?) who can redirect MIL? At the very least, maybe you can ask one of your girlfriends to step up and help your MIL? That way you can kind of stay out the party planning and your Mother-In-Law can get the help/direction she needs to throw a shower.
Post # 9
I think a good alternative to a baby shower is a “sip and see” where you basically have an open house for people to come meet the new baby after it is born (of course wait until mom is feeling up to it). I’ve never known anyone to actually have one, but I know I’m always wanting to meet new babies! I don’t think it would be a faux-pas to put registry info on the invite, because I would definitely want to bring a gift, especially if there was no baby shower. And you could do cute things like “words of wisdom” or a picture scrapbook for the baby, and I think it would be extra special because the baby is there! And the attention will mostly on the baby, if you are nervous about having all the attention on you.