Post # 1
I offered to throw my MoH/BFF a baby shower this summer. I was super excited and glad I could do this for her…. She.is.driving.me.insane.
When I told her it’d have to be small due to my budget but I could do 25 people, she told me she wanted a big party. Her friends offered to cover some costs so I shrugged it off.
When I told her I had a super cute theme idea she nixed it and told me exactly what theme she wanted and where to buy the decorations.. I told her no about that one, that I was doing decorations that were more general so we could reuse them rather than being so specific.
When I told her I was excited about the invitations I was designing she said she actually wanted ones that corresponded to her baby room. Then sent me a link to invitations she wanted me to use (extremely pricey).
I thought I was really nice to throw her this party, what with alot of personal conflicts I have to get done this summer and my lack of any income currently. I also kind of thought that when someone throws you a party you just say ‘thank you’ and then show up and appreciate the work they did…
I understand it’s her party, it’s her baby.. but it’s also MY party and I’m paying for it! Can I get some input?
Post # 3
I honestly think she is being super unreasonable, if she wants to dictate the size, decorations, and invitations she should throw her own party. Seriously, I would tell her that if she wants specific decorations and invitations than she can pay for them, if not she has to back off and let you throw the party.
Post # 4
Sounds like she’s planning her shower just fine by herself. Maybe tell her that if she doesn’t let you plan it, then she can do it herself as you have enough on her plate as it is.
Post # 5
I think you should let her know that hosting the shower means you are planning the shower. Also, hosting the shower means paying for it, and since she’s already strongarmed you into hosting more people than you are comfortable with, she doesn’t need to be deciding on expensive invites. She wants the invites to coordinate with the nursery decor??? WHO DOES THAT??? She sounds a lot like my SIL…planning her own party. I think at this point you need to let her know that either she backs off and lets you throw her a party, or you will turn over the planning (and costs!) to her since she’s so deadset on planning it anyway. RUDE MUCH??
Post # 6
Wow… I was happy just to have someone throw me a baby shower when I was pregnant and I didn’t butt in too much. I think that if you are offering then it should be what you can afford for 1 and also what you feel is best. I think 25 people is plenty. Most people will send gifts and maybe show up for an hour or so. I think she is stuck on some baby shows and needs to get off of it. I think you are doing everything you need to and don’t hesitate to tell her that you are payinng for it and that you should have to right to plan it. end of story. Good luck. 🙂
Post # 7
Wow! That is an extremely uncomfortable position she’s put you in.. I’m sure you don’t want to do anything to cause conflict in your relationship, but she is being very unreasonable! Hopefully you can find a way to deal with it without causing a huge coflict. Maybe if you quit telling her what you plan on doing she will stop putting in her 2 cents. Just tell her it’s a surprise if she asks… or that you’ve been working super hard on it and you’re sure that she’ll really love and APPRECIATE it when she sees it in person on the shower day.
Usually the only thing the mama only dictates small things that they feel strongly about (like not wanting to play the game where they wrap toilet paper around their bellies because they’re self conscience about how much weight they’ve gained.. lol). Definitely not about decor, invites, attendance prizes, or food (unless there are allergies or something of course).
Good Luck!! and I hope she gets her head on straight soon 🙂
Post # 8
I can understand BOTH sides. I COMPLETELY understand where you are coming from because you offered to plan the shower. BUT you did OFFER. She didn’t ask you so maybe thats why she feels like it’s ok to put her imput in. And even though she is being a bit rude with the way she’s handling things….she should have a say in her shower because it is HER shower and she’s going to be the one that remembers it for the rest of her life and tells her child about it one day. I’m not saying either one of you are completely right or wrong, but maybe before you started planning things and she gave you the reings…you should both have sat down and discussed some thoughts. 🙂 Good luck!
Post # 9
Thanks for all your input ladies. I just needed a quick vent. Hopefully the shower will be awesome and everyone (especially my pregnant bestie) will have fun. Really that’s all that matters!