Baby Shower – MIL Receiving Gifts Too?

posted 2 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 31
Member
5967 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

FutureMrsGrabs :  I would be pissed, but my Mother-In-Law is crazy and will have no unsupervised visits with our child…. 

Post # 32
Member
900 posts
Busy bee

I’m sorry, but WTF? Grandma showers are a “thing” now?? That is just ridiculous.

Post # 33
Member
2595 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

No. Very strange. She is not the mother and she should not be encouraged to think she is.

What’s the surprise for her anyway? Surely she knows that she may babysit from time to time and she knows what she may need. This is just another one of those ‘my Mother-In-Law thinks my baby is hers’ posts…

Post # 35
Member
9604 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

that is so bizarre. What about your mom? just no. In fact, it sounds like youre going to need to practice saying no and gaining confidence about sticking to boundaries. So start here!

Post # 36
Member
2595 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

FutureMrsGrabs :  That’s a relief, I’m glad it worked out well.

You didn’t think this thread would get much attention? Lol!!

Post # 38
Member
9391 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

That’s good things worked out. And it sounds like you have a great Darling Husband, so yay! Definitely have your plans set in stone before delivery. Things can get crazy and emotional, and it really helps when your Darling Husband knows exactly what your wishes are if you can’t articulate them yourself, IMO.

Related story, my Mother-In-Law assumed she was being full time child care for our dd (which was NEVER our plan). Unbeknownst to us, her BFF brought ALL the stuff she had used for her grandchildren over to MIL’s apartment. I’m talking diaper baby, bassinet, changing pads, everything. We didn’t find out until way later when she asked if Father-In-Law would take the stuff back to her BFF (he lives in the same city). We were like…um…WHY does she have all this shit? Even Darling Husband was like “did she really think that she was going to be keeping our newborn at her place…?” People go CRAZY I swear!

Post # 39
Member
2706 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

anthonyswife :  it was a while ago – I’ve done a quick search but I can’t find it, sorry!

EDIT: some better searching came up trumps! It’s two threads:

https://community.babycenter.com/post/a62496481

https://community.babycenter.com/post/a62715208/mil-stealing-shwr-gifts-cont-sil-loses-her-mind-ud-6-twins-are-here-21?cpg=1

Truly batshit crazy.

Post # 41
Member
1103 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

KiwiDerbyBride :  Thanks!! I’m glad I saw this right before my lunch break instead of 2 hours ago. I wouldn’t have been very productive at work if I had, lol.

Post # 42
Member
1103 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

KiwiDerbyBride :  O.M.G.

I just read all of OP’s comments on that thread.

Holy fucking shit.

Post # 43
Member
5951 posts
Bee Keeper

Daisy_Mae :  This!

Admittedly I’ve never heard of ‘grandma showers’ but OP’s post gave me a weird vibe about it- and then reading her updates my vote is a resounding ‘not okay!’ It seems this Mother-In-Law already has a problem with boundaries and is also being presumptuous in how much she’ll be having her grandchild over-and has been sharing this with her relatives and friends if they think she’ll need pretty much an entire second nursery at her place. 

Sorry Bee, but this sounds incredibly attention seeking of her- and as many have pointed out, super awkward and potentially hurtful if your own mom is there too watching Mother-In-Law open gifts. And it also sounds like all the makings of her being super-pushy once the baby is born, I would definitely have a conversation with your Darling Husband tonight and tell him how uncomfortable all of this is making you. It’s wonderful to have grandmas of course- but not to the point that they act like the baby is theirs, not yours and it sounds like things are already heading this way. Better to deal with it asap and firmly. 

Also, I know we’re not supposed to be gift-grabby etc- but baby shower gifts are supposed to help the new parents get ready for the baby, and if people are gifting the Mother-In-Law as well this may impact what they give OP. For example- if someone was going to give OP a $50 baby gift they may end up getting OP and Mother-In-Law each a $25 gift, which is understandable financially of course, but it’s rather off-putting to think OP and her husband will get less for their nursery so that grand-zilla can set up one too. 

Post # 44
Member
2706 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

I love that someone else called her out on the “we’re having a baby.” Next time she says it within earshot, don’t just say it in your mind – I’d say “MIL! You’re pregnant? Why didn’t you tell us first? How exciting for you!” and watch her splutter for words.  She does clearly think that this baby is hers and you need to stomp on that.

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