Baby shower registry etiquette

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
10480 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

I would just tell the expectant parents you bought it. I had this happen at our shower, I had a stroller and car seat on our registry but my dad bought us a different one we had seen in a store and liked. 

Its okay if it’s not a surprise! The parents will just be happy to know that it’s one less thing they’ll have to worry about. 

Post # 3
4021 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

If they get two then they can just return one and get something else. It isnt a big deal. 

Post # 5
1180 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

Idk where the registry is to, but I bought my brother an item on their registry for their wedding and called the store to say that I bought it and forgot to buy it through the registy. They then marked the item as purchased

Post # 6
4962 posts
Honey bee

Call the store, give them the registry number, and ask them to remove/marked as purchased.

The party hosts aren’t going to be able to help you anyway if you are intent on keeping it a secret – they likely don’t have the log-in and password to maintain the registry.

Otherwise just tell them.  It wouldn’t have been a secret anyway because they could have seen it marked as purchased if you got it from the store they are registered.  The only “secret” would have been who of her party guests bought it.  Worse comes to worse is they can return one and buy other stuff they need.

Post # 7
9388 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

what type of registry is it (amazon? babylist? etc) ? On a lot of them there is a way to tell the registry that it’s been purchased from another store.  If you tell us where the registry is with we may be able to help you.  

Post # 8
1154 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

My co-workers surprised me with a small shower a week before my “actual” shower hosted by my mom with family/friends. I had 2 coworkers get me the same gifts, neither used the registry so it wasn’t marked off. Probably 2 other gifts (not duplicates) were also not marked as “purchased” whether people got them at another store, or just didn’t use the registry when they bought them, idk. I didn’t even have gift receipts for my duplicates, I just brought them to customer service and got a merchandise credit. No biggie. 

Also, reiterating what @amanda1988 said, many times there’s ways to indicate it was purchased elsewhere. My target registry had that option, and there’s a place I (as the ‘owner’ of the registry) can see if items were bought in a store, online, or “at another retailer”. Maybe somebody here knows how to mark items as purchsed elsewhere if you can share the original registry location? 

Post # 9
1012 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

There is nothing wrong with purchasing outside the registry. 

Most registries I’ve seen let a guest mark that they bought an item somewhere else. 

I wouldn’t be upset at the host. I would think of her job as hosting the party itself and managing the guest list. I wouldn’t necessarily expect her to manage the registry. 

Post # 10
610 posts
Busy bee

Sometimes the registries don’t even work right and it doesn’t even show purchased if you did buy it from that store. No big deal to get a duplicate, can easily return one! 

Post # 11
9519 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Meh, I think you’re making too big a deal about this tbh. I’d just tell one of the parents you bought it. It’s not like it’s really a surprise when you buy them something off a list of things they’re asking people to buy for them.

fwiw I’d rather be told and have whatever “surprise” ruined (but like I said I personally don’t think there’s really any surprise element involved here…) than have the hassle of returning it later. Even the easiest return processes involve some amount of work that I just wouldn’t want to do while pregnant or busy with a newborn.

Post # 12
7472 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

You are way over thinking this. If the mom-to-be gets two of the same gift she can just return one. Trust me, this happens ALL the freaking time. At my baby shower I got two of the same Rock N Play’s, because someone did the exact same think you did. I actually didn’t return it because I sent the extra to my parents house but there were plenty of items I got that I ended up with doubles or just didn’t need and returned. I did my registry through Amazon which makes returning super easy and they credit your account the amount of the item – which I was able to use to get the items off my registry I really needed. 

Post # 13
10635 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

 I agree with others, just contact the registry and have it marked as purchased.  I’ve done this when other stores have the same item for a lower price.

Post # 14
651 posts
Busy bee

Target had an option for you to put “already purchased”. I did that yesterday for a baby shower registry. Found a better deal and didn’t want to buy for extra when I can save elsewhere. 


Honestly looks like all the sites picked give that option. 

Post # 15
1168 posts
Bumble bee

There’s going to be a million things that are purchased off the registry because people will bargain shop.  This is actually really good for the mommy-to-be as she will have plenty to return and will be able to use that store credit money for quite some time after the baby is born.  This can be used for formula, clothing, diapers, any little extras she may not have thought she needed but has need for after having the baby, etc.  Don’t worry about it.

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