Post # 1
What is the time limit for sending out shower thank you notes from a baby shower? I attended a baby shower for FSIL two months ago and gave very generous gifts and still have not gotten a card. I then threw her a baby shower a month ago and did not get a hostess gift or a thank you note from her 🙁 I also gave generous gifts at the second shower I hosted. I know a hostess gift is not totally necessary since I volunteered to do the shower, but I feel hurt to not have received a note yet, especially for the shower two months ago. She is supposed to be delivering the baby in 2-3 weeks, so I doubt the bulk of any thank-you note writing will be going on once the baby is born. My FI doesn’t understand why I am so bothered not to have gotten a note, but I put a lot of thought, time, effort, and money into getting gifts she wanted for the baby and planning a whole shower. Please tell me I’m not being crazy for feeling upset! Is the time limit a lot longer than I thought? I always thought the sooner the notes went out, the better.
Post # 2
I’m not sure there’s a rule but it sounds like you’re probably not going to get one. It’s hard to explain why it is bothersome, but it totally is. I went to a wedding 18m ago and forgot my checkbook. Before I even had a chance to ask for the bride’s address she emailed me wondering if she had misplaced my gift/card. I sent it right away and never got any sort of acknowledgement besides the cashed check. Yuck.
Post # 3
Ugh. I gave my bff like 250$ of crystal off her registry… No note. I was annoyed/shocked. I had to double check with her that it even arrived. Then recently I hear her talking about her how her husband was supposed to order the photo cards but hasnt bla bla bla… And I realize… It’s been 14 months and they haven’t sent one thank you card for their wedding!!! This was a black tie fancy affair that people flew in for, from across the country and world!! My jaw dropped but I bit my tongue. I was shocked.
Point is, we can’t hold people to the sane standards we hold ourselves. Your friend was raised with out proper etiquette being drilled into her head. My friend too I guess. I’ve been writing prompt and cheery thank you notes for gifts since I was a child (thanks to threats from my mom). But now I’m glad because I can behave like a lady and not an ingrate.
Post # 4
mamadingdong: that is so exceedingly rude, awkward and embaressing! Yeesh! “Excuse me… But wheres your present?” Sending a gift soon after the wedding is no issue at all. Enforcing a self imposed gift requirement through the guise of “woops did I lose it?”… sigh.
Post # 5
I gave thank you cards the day of my shower. I think it’s rude If she doesn’t send a card.
Post # 6
thanks guys! I know for weddings there are lots of different timelines for thank-you note etiquette, so I wasn’t sure if baby showers had rules. I know I spent probably 400+ dollars for gifts and throwing a shower, and I am seriously bothered by no note! It really is bothersome. I know for my own bridal shower my first priority afterward will be to get the thank you cards out.
Post # 7
daisy92: I had 2 showers, one for my side and one for FI side. I had thank-yous out in two weeks. I think a couple months is acceptable.
Post # 8
daisy92: We never received thank you notes from the two weddings we attended and sent gifts for…I think in this day and age it’s not just not understood what a nice thought it is to write one out. Many people think it’s just not necessary. When we had our baby shower, I told my husband, he had to write all of his family’s, but I would write our friends and family’s ones. It was a pain and a lot of letters by myself, but he never wrote his. He just didn’t understand why he had too, and I think that’s the majority of people nowadays.