(Closed) Baby shower the same weekend as my wedding

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 46
812 posts
Busy bee

christabel:  I didn’t even look at that. You’re absolutely right. Wow. Fail.

Post # 47
2713 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

Don’t change your brunch booking.  Don’t list her registry info on your wedding website (that is a bridge too far!).  Is your brunch info on your wedding website already?  If it is, people will already be aware of it and if the shower invite comes in later then they hopefully will have already committed to coming to your brunch.  If the brunch info isn’t up, put it up ASAP!

Post # 50
1114 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

suebo703:  Maybe she’s pregnant. But the due date is off. It’s too soon to know about a January baby, which is why Bees are questioning the validity of this post. Which I also questioned at the beginning.

I don’t think you’re going to get an out ouring of people telling you what you want to hear. But PP’s make very good points. You can’t say no to them hosting a shower that day. Even if it’s tacky and rude for them to request a shower and invite people solely for the being given tons of gifts. That’s their issue. You absolutely do not have to put any shower information on. Your website or included in your wedding details. 

You have every right to tell them the brunch will not be cancelled under any circumstances as it has already been planned. You can feel slighted and upset, but you can’t say they can’t host the shower… If they decide to overlap the events, it seems that guests are closer to you, and will probably attend your event instead of they choose to attend a next day event. 


Just relax. It will work out, you’ll be fine.

Post # 52
1527 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

Keep your brunch. If they end up at the same time (which would be odd, I’ve never been to a morning baby shower) then I guess the people who are invited to both will just have to make a choice. 

This is all still pretty far away, maybe you could change your brunch to earlier depending on when they do their shower.

It’s her family too, she probably wants to do it while everyone is in town. You will get your big day, let her celebrate her life with the family also.

Post # 53
2013 posts
Buzzing bee

suebo703:  [content moderated for name calling] proceed with your brunch, they can throw the shower and then your guests can decide which one they want to go to. The end.

Post # 55
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Dissenting opinion but I find it rude.  Um, presumably an aunt of the future child, which is who you would be, would be invited and probably expected to come or send a gift.  You’re going to do that the day after your wedding??  I don’t think so.  There is no other day they could do this.  Bull, I don’t believe that.

ETA:  And I see you are planning a brunch.  Well no kidding a lot of people do, that’s a main reason why I think it is wrong for them to schedule a baby shower the day after. 

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by  jess9090.
Post # 56
1800 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I agree that some of this thread doesn’t make sense but to answer your question – I would be upset too.  we have planned a recovery BBQ the following day and my partner is really looking forward to it as he feels he can just relax so I Would be annoyed if my sister in law did that to us 

Post # 57
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Demetries

CookieLady:  I completely agree with you 100% and I can see OPs frustration. I wouldn’t want a family baby shower the day after my wedding especially since she doesn’t even speak to her brother seems like he’s trying to be greedy with the family in town. I also think the bees can be harsh. Relax people and stop judging who are you guys to be so rude no one is perfect.  OP- it’s your wedding do what you want!

Post # 58
9562 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I agree that it’s rude, but you can’t really make them cancel it. I would keep your brunch planned as is, and do not add anything about their registry on your wedding website.

If she is indeed due end of December/beginning of January, she’s just barely missed her period. I think it’s very strange to be planning a baby shower that early, let alone even announcing it.

Post # 59
945 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

They are planning on throwing the shower the day after your wedding. You get one day. Plus – it makes sense, since family will be in town anyway for your wedding. I think you’re being kind of selfish. It’s only making you mad because you don’t like your brother and his girlfriend.

Post # 60
5188 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

Brunch isn’t part of the wedding. It’s like an after party. Guests can choose for themselves which event they’d rather attend. 

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