Post # 61
I never heard the “second shower” rule until I came to college. I literally thought you had a shower or at least celebration per baby, because that’s what I experienced. Sure, I never saw a second time mom (unless it had been a while) get many big item gifts like a crib or stroller, but we celebrated the coming of the new baby. People would bring gifts like diapers, bibs, new clothes, or personalized baby items like a hairbow tree or something, things that would be specific for that child that wouldn’t be handed down. If your friend offered and you are okay with it, I don’t see how it is tacky to have a gift optional party to celebrate your upcoming baby with loved ones. If in-laws don’t like it, they can politely decline the invitation.
Post # 62
I would have no problem with this! I think it is great to celebrate another baby and by requesting no gifts it takes away any tackiness. Unfortunately you will have people judge anyways, but don’t let it get to you. Have a celebration!
Post # 63
I wouldn’t do it as a mom to be or attend as a guest but you know your friends and family best. I’d just go with a sip and see after your second is born 🙂
Post # 64
I was just invited to a shower for someone’s 5th child (last child was 2 years ago), and a lot of people who wen’t didnt think it was tacky at all. I personally did, because it was extremely gift grabby. It was a lot less of celebrating a pregnancy and a lot more of “so and so needs allllll these new things, because most of her things are worn out from her other babies!”
I think a shower for the first baby in 5 years, with a focus on celebration versus gifts is 100% fine. I think the idea of sip and see is cool, but I dont know if it’s something I personally would be up for after having a baby.
Could your friend change the title from shower/sprinkle to something else? I don’t have a great suggestion, but maybe eliminating the word shower would help?
Post # 65
I don’t think it’s tacky at all. Whether same gender or different, close in age or not… a baby is a beautiful gift, why not chose to celebrate?! I think most people know that gifts aren’t expected at a sprinkle, but most will probably bring something small as a gift for the hostess/guest of honor is the polite thing to do when invited to a party of any sort.
Post # 66
mittensmitten : “I usually don’t agree with them, unless the baby is a different gender”
Why would it justify having another baby shower only if you were having a different gender? God fobid you wash a male baby in a pink bathing tub! A baby is a baby, they require all the same stuff.
lol sorry I’m not trying to be (too) snarky I just thought that was funny.
Post # 68
For my second child, S/O’s family insisted on throwing me a full on shower, although I said “no” for weeks. We were team green the 2nd time around so we did not know the sex(ended up being another girl) but the children were NINE years apart. My reasons for refusing had nothing to do with etiquette or gifts. I was actaully scared of jinxing the pregnancy as we had issues and losses trying to carry a second child to term. I didnt even tell anyone outside of S/O that I was pregnant until I was almost in my 8th month. In the end, I gave up and let them do it and looking back Im glad I did.
Im sure there are bees who think its disgusting I had a second shower but oh well. I didnt even have one for my first so it balances out. I figure if you asked people who know me what makes me tacky, the fact that I had a shower for my second child wouldnt even rank in the top 20 answers.
That being said, I do find back to back baby showers a little gross but to each his own. I probably wouldnt attend one for someone’s fifth baby in four years but its no sweat off my back if they have one. 5 years apart or more is kind of my general rule regardless of sex. A sprinkle however- with no gifts or just books or diapers- is always welcome!!
Post # 69
I am always intrigued by the random things I discover when I log into the internet about etiquette and social preferences.
I come from a huge family that celebrates EVERY.LITTLE.THING. Every single baby in our family is celebrated. For us (and I can only speak to personal experience) the gifts weren’t really the main attraction, but the games and laughter and food brought everyone together. Celebrating the older siblings was also common growing up at subsequent baby showers. I have attended baby showers where there wasn’t a registry, some were on their 4th baby, some were full on baby showers 10 years between children, and some were 2 years later…..I don’t know. It never seemed tacky or rude or grimey to us…
Just a family celebrating an amazing blessing. I am pregnant with my second baby (5 years apart) and I am sure there won’t be much of a discussion as to whether or not we will be celebrating with a party in my third trimester. I will be starting a registry as a way of creating a list of things my husband and I will be buying. People are welcome to access the list if they are so inclined. But it is 100% unexpected and we will be purchasing our travel system, breast pump, and crib beforehand…so for us, personally, I don’t see a single issue in our celebration.
With that being said, I totally believe that some people can be obnoxious and totally gift grabby and at the end of the day I still participate in their celebrations because I (personally) feel that it is the right thing to do in my heart.
There are more important matters to exhaust myself rather than deciding if someone deserves another stroller.
Post # 70
I would say go ahead. There’s a good chance that you have met new people in the last 5 years that you would like to celebrate with. I threw a sprinkle for my sister. It was very small. Just 5 of us went for high tea but we all got presents for her and the new baby and shared parenting stories.
Post # 71
I’ve never been to a sprinkle shower. To be honest don’t really now what it is. I’ve seen moms who are on their 4th or 5th kid have a baby shower. If anybody has a problem then don’t go or don’t give gifts. I think whether it’s someones 1st or 10th child each pregnancy should be celebrated!