Post # 17
Member
373 posts
Helper bee
@mrs_pugetsound: crazy to see the “Navy trend” in this thread. I am there too. <sigh> I have been so willing to wait to have a baby until recently. We have a “plan” a timeframe we have talked about, a page we have both been on, and now I feel I am on another page than him with our “plan”. I go through times where I totally have baby fever, and then I dont. From really wanting one to, heck no LETS WAIT. Currently having baby fever more than before. I think it hit me when I realized how soon he goes back to Sea duty. Well, not that its soon, soon. But less than two years. but when you put TTC and then pregnancy in there….I realize our “plan” on when we said we want to TTC is right when he is on sea duty again. I guess its just really hitting me now because my brother who is also Navy just had a baby 5 months ago. Fortunatly he is stationed where we are, but I just hate seeing my nephew grow and have all these “firsts” and my brother not. Its just sad. I know thats how it is, I more than understand. I was in the Navy myself. I know thats the life….but I just see it SO CLOSE now more than before. And watching my brother say good bye to his 3 week old baby and go on deployement killed. I dont want that. I am going on 28, and DH is going on 30. Plus I feel guilty. He has a 8 year old from his previous marriage. We are working on custody issues right now, and I feel guilty for wanting a baby when things arent where they should be with his first child. <sigh> I feel like my brain is a mess….I justt dont know….I am right there with you sweetie! (((HUGS))) I know its frustrating!
Wow….I have not talked to ANYONE about this yet….that felt good to let it out! Glad to know I am not alone! Because I too was the “Last one” not too long ago like you mrs.PS to want to start a family. I dont even know how to talk to anyone about this because I am that “girl” who will say “Heck no, we are waiting…my mom was 34 when she had me, im in no rush” ….and now here I am….UGH!!!
Post # 18
Member
403 posts
Helper bee
Oh, I SOOOOOOO know how you feel. Except that I’m almost 36, so I’m literally running out of time. C just doesn’t seem to care that waiting another year or so puts my health at risk (during both pregnancy and labor), the baby’s health at risk (genetic disorders), increases the risk of having miscarriages and increases the likelihood that we won’t be able to have kids at all. 🙁
Wish I had some advice for you, but it’s nice to know that I’m not alone.
Post # 19
Member
592 posts
Busy bee
So totally feel you!
I am 29 and DH is 30, we were married 1 month ago. While I am not ready to start TTC now I know we have different timelines. DH is like “maybe in 3 years” and I am more of a maybe in 1 year person. I think next summer/fall I’ll have the whole “I’d like to give my body some time off BC” chat with him. By then we will be financially more secure and he may be willing to go thr NTNT route for a while. I would even be open to charting to not get pregnant. I am just worried if I start TTC after 30 and then have problems I dont want to wait 12-18 months of trying before I could see a specialist if there are problem.
Good Luck!
Post # 20
Member
1443 posts
Bumble bee
Thank you for all your responses! I’m so glad to know I wasn’t alone in this matter! I was pretty surprised to read about all the other Navy wives and just other women in general here who’ve been through similar things. I have a friend here who is due the same month her husband is scheduled to go back to sea duty, and I think that seeing what that couple is going through has really made my husband see the urgency I have, if that makes sense.
He’s agreed to start trying next July, and has slowly been getting more and more excited about the idea of TTC. He actually pulled me through the baby section of Target the other night to get an idea of what kinds of things we’ll be needing. He got SO excited about some of the baby bouncy seats with the mobiles above them…I guess he’d never seen one and he thought they were just the best thing ever. So cute! I’m so glad he is taking such an interest, though the thought of waiting until the end of summer is still pretty rough. ARGH. I’d love to start NOW, but I do feel better having a set timeline.
In the meantime, I’m just going to take the next months and use them to get my self as physically and mentally prepared for parenthood as possible. I’ve started trying to lose a little weight, I’m taking prenatals, and I’ve been going to get physicals done (all that lovely stuff I’d been putting off for too long). At least it makes me feel like I am doing something other than waiting, I guess. So it looks like I’ll just be hanging out on the baby boards wishing you all the very best of luck with your future pregnancies until it is my turn!! Baby dust for all of you!!! 🙂
Post # 21
Member
321 posts
Helper bee
I have a personal timeline myself–I’m 27, and I want kids between 28-32–my mom had me at 36 and that’s just too old in my mind–I want to be able to enjoy our children. Fiance is on board with the kid thing, he’s just thinking he wants us to be in a better financial situation (which I want too) and seems to think that’s many years down the line. I’m like “yeah, right” and I have health issues that complicate things, so I need to have kids when I’m healthiest. SO I’ve started working on myself–getting my blood sugars in better control, try to lose weight, etc. Then after the wedding I’ll start working on him–once we’re both 28 I’ll have a more serious conversation. 😉
Post # 22
Member
466 posts
Helper bee
We decided to start trying around our 2 year anniversary but I still have the baby rabies 😉
Post # 23
Member
211 posts
Helper bee
@HopingToBeaMama:
Baby Rabies!! hahaha I love that. Totally stealing it. 🙂 I havn’t got it fully yet..but it is starting to creep up on me..I’m sure I’ll be infected soon.
Post # 24
Member
1109 posts
Bumble bee
FWIW, we found out we were pregnant a few months before we planned to start TTC… and now we’re scrambling to pay our bills and buy a house, both working jobs/shifts we don’t like. It’s ok, but very difficult and we’re just praying this baby holds on until we can get our ducks in a row! Personally my clock never ticked, I’m fairly young and it was DH who wanted babies asap, so I’m sorry I don’t really know how that must feel, but it sounds very upsetting 🙁 But in the long run you will be glad you were so ready when you start trying.
I just think it’s great that your husband is being so patient with you and recognizing that sometimes what you want isn’t what’s best.