(Closed) Baby timelines…am I alone?

posted 9 years ago in Married Life
Post # 17
Member
373 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@mrs_pugetsound: crazy to see the “Navy trend” in this thread. I am there too. <sigh> I have been so willing to wait to have a baby until recently. We have a “plan” a timeframe we have talked about, a page we have both been on, and now I feel I am on another page than him with our “plan”. I go through times where I totally have baby fever, and then I dont. From really wanting one to, heck no LETS WAIT. Currently having baby fever more than before. I think it hit me when I realized how soon he goes back to Sea duty. Well, not that its soon, soon. But less than two years. but when you put TTC and then pregnancy  in there….I realize our “plan” on when we said we want to TTC is right when he is on sea duty again. I guess its just really hitting me now because my brother who is also Navy just had a baby 5 months ago. Fortunatly he is stationed where we are, but I just hate seeing my nephew grow and have all these “firsts” and my brother not. Its just sad. I know thats how it is, I more than understand. I was in the Navy myself. I know thats the life….but I just see it SO CLOSE now more than before. And watching my brother say good bye to his 3 week old baby and go on deployement killed. I dont want that. I am going on 28, and DH is going on 30. Plus I feel guilty. He has a 8 year old from his previous marriage. We are working on custody issues right now, and I feel guilty for wanting a baby when things arent where they should be with his first child. <sigh> I feel like my brain is a mess….I justt dont know….I am right there with you sweetie! (((HUGS))) I know its frustrating!

Wow….I have not talked to ANYONE about this yet….that felt good to let it out! Glad to know I am not alone! Because I too was the “Last one” not too long ago like you mrs.PS to want to start a family. I dont even know how to talk to anyone about this because I am that “girl” who will say “Heck no, we are waiting…my mom was 34 when she had me, im in no rush”    ….and now here I am….UGH!!! 

Post # 18
Member
403 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Oh, I SOOOOOOO know how you feel. Except that I’m almost 36, so I’m literally running out of time. C just doesn’t seem to care that waiting another year or so puts my health at risk (during both pregnancy and labor), the baby’s health at risk (genetic disorders), increases the risk of having miscarriages and increases the likelihood that we won’t be able to have kids at all. πŸ™

Wish I had some advice for you, but it’s nice to know that I’m not alone.

Post # 19
Member
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

So totally feel you!

I am 29 and DH is 30, we were married 1 month ago.  While I am not ready to start TTC now I know we have different timelines.  DH is like “maybe in 3 years” and I am more of a maybe in 1 year person.  I think next summer/fall I’ll have the whole “I’d like to give my body some time off BC” chat with him.  By then we will be financially more secure and he may be willing to go thr NTNT route for a while.  I would even be open to charting to not get pregnant.  I am just worried if I start TTC after 30 and then have problems I dont want to wait 12-18 months of trying before I could see a specialist if there are problem.

Good Luck!

Post # 21
Member
321 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I have a personal timeline myself–I’m 27, and I want kids between 28-32–my mom had me at 36 and that’s just too old in my mind–I want to be able to enjoy our children.  Fiance is on board with the kid thing, he’s just thinking he wants us to be in a better financial situation (which I want too) and seems to think that’s many years down the line.  I’m like “yeah, right” and I have health issues that complicate things, so I need to have kids when I’m healthiest.  SO I’ve started working on myself–getting my blood sugars in better control, try to lose weight, etc. Then after the wedding I’ll start working on him–once we’re both 28 I’ll have a more serious conversation. πŸ˜‰

Post # 22
Member
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

We decided to start trying around our 2 year anniversary but I still have the baby rabies πŸ˜‰

Post # 23
Member
211 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

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@HopingToBeaMama:

Baby Rabies!! hahaha I love that. Totally stealing it. πŸ™‚ I havn’t got it fully yet..but it is starting to creep up on me..I’m sure I’ll be infected soon.

Post # 24
Member
1109 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

FWIW, we found out we were pregnant a few months before we planned to start TTC… and now we’re scrambling to pay our bills and buy a house, both working jobs/shifts we don’t like. It’s ok, but very difficult and we’re just praying this baby holds on until we can get our ducks in a row! Personally my clock never ticked, I’m fairly young and it was DH who wanted babies asap, so I’m sorry I don’t really know how that must feel, but it sounds very upsetting πŸ™ But in the long run you will be glad you were so ready when you start trying.

I just think it’s great that your husband is being so patient with you and recognizing that sometimes what you want isn’t what’s best.

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