(Closed) Baby wants to be held all the time

posted 6 years ago in Babies
Post # 16
Member
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

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Ali-oop:  my first was like this – it was a temperment thing since my second wasn’t like that even at 6 weeks. I co-slept with her so that we could get some sleep, even though I swore I wouldn’t. I wore her in a carrier almost 100 percent of the time during the day. I would try different carriers and try putting him in and walking around for awhile. Sometimes it takes a bit for them to catch on! We liked Ergo and the structured Boba the best. I would not worry for one second about bad habits – there’s nothing that you can’t address if it ever becomes a problem and almost nothing becomes a problem. 

Post # 17
Member
1841 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

My baby is like this. It started getting better around 8/9 weeks. He still will only nap on me (12 weeks now) but I can put him in his swing when he is awake long enough to pee, eat breakfast and get dressed. The ergo has saved us. Otherwise I would never get anything done. from all that I’ve read, they grow out of it & eventually won’t ever want to be held! 

Post # 20
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We went through the same thing. Our daughter was so fussy up through about 8 weeks, and then it got much better. She turned into a happy, happy kid!

We also went through the sleep struggles. I was so worried about it, and then I finally just decided to do what I needed to do to survive, which meant she slept with us. It’s not something I ever planned on doing, but she just wouldn’t sleep longer than an hour or two on her own, ever. Do what you need to do, and don’t feel guilty. Your baby WILL outgrow this eventually, and until then, try not to worry. You can’t spoil him at this point!

Post # 21
Member
2198 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

My little girl is almost 4 weeks and she prefers to be held. She does sleep well at night but during the day it can be a struggle to put her down  for longer than 30 seconds. What we find somethimes works during the day is to hold her until she goes to sleep wth her favourite blanket  around her and then laying her on a bean bag because it cocoons her. I also wear her a lot when she’s being extra cuddly

 

Silly question but are you putting him down as soon as his eyes close or waitining a bit? Maybe he hasn’t entered his deep sleep yet which is why he wakes easily.

Post # 22
Member
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 1993

He was with you for 9 months “ALL”the time and now you want him to suddenly be happy to sleep himself. Sorry. Society will have you believe that this is the way it’s suppose to be but its not. They need to be near you. They will learn in time to be by themselves but not yet. It’s part of being a mom. Embrace it. They move on quickly. 

Post # 23
Member
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

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Ali-oop:  My daughter is an extreme version of yours. She wanted to be held all the time around the clock. Beside me on the bed wasn’t good enough. With my arm around her wasn’t good enough. I slept with her on my chest for nighttime and naps for 6 whole months. She only liked being worn when we were out of the house, she hated swings, sometimes tolerated her Mamaroo for a bit here and there, hated being swaddled because she doesn’t like having her arms confined, and never took a pacifier (and so I became a human pacifier; she was a boob fiend).

When she could roll over on her own, she started rolling off me and onto the bed to sleep once she got settled in. Then she started doing a stint in the Mamaroo before needing to come to bed with me. Then it was crib for a bit before our bed. Then she went back to strictly bed for a bit. At 20 months I finally fully night weaned her and she willingly went into her crib, and now at 22 months always asks to go to her crib afer hanging out with me in bed when she needs soothing. But she has only STTN once ever in her life. I’m still not convinced I didn’t just sleep through her crying that one night.

It’s great that you got your daughter to sleep a couple of good stretches. That’s a really great sign. But sleep will come and go as they go through different phases. I think the best thing you can do is accept it as normal and roll with it (so long as there are no underlying physiological causes that require treatment). Some kids are just like that.

 In my case I decided I had the flexibility to adjust my expectations and my schedule and pretty much devote myself to looking after her needs, as extreme as they were. I wore her when I could, made arrangements to keep her comfortable as possible so I could eat and shower, and recognized that this couldn’t last forever. It is tough, but you have to decide how much you’re willing to sacrifice and compromise because you want your daughter to feel secure, but you need to look after yourself, too. It’s an evolving situation and you’ll find a balance that works for you for the time being.

Hang in there. It’s so hard having a “velcro” or “high need” baby (Google those two terms and you’ll find some reassuring materials like http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/health-concerns/fussy-baby/high-need-baby/12-features-high-need-baby), but they also tend to be much more confident and independent later on because they know they have that secure home base to return to as needed.

Post # 25
Member
957 posts
Busy bee

My guess is that the baby is sleeping on his back. The issue may not be needing to sleep on you, but needing tummy time.

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li-oop:  

Post # 26
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

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MissJulianna:  this sounds just like my niece!

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