(Closed) Bachelor/ Bachelorette Party

posted 8 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

That really concerns me that he plans parties with blow jobs and girls touching each other.  You need to talk to your Fiance what is and is not okay for him to do at a bachelor party and he should be the one to tell his Groomsmen that those things are unacceptable.

Post # 4
Member
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2009

Y’know, I’m all for bachelor parties with strippers at a club with no foreys into the private rooms or whatever.  My husband went to a strip club for his party, and I was glad he did just so he could have that experience.  However, strippers who give blow jobs?  That sounds like sexual favors in return for money, which sounds like prostitution to me.  While I wouldn’t talk to the best man about it myself (it may just encourage him), if you are uncomfortable with these activities you might need to demand that your fiancee not participate in said activities.  Everyone has their own line of acceptable behavior, and you need to let him know what yours is and he should respect it, just as you would respect his wish that you didn’t partake in similar activities.

Post # 5
Member
447 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Strippers who give BJs aren’t strippers… they’re prostitutes.

I talked to my FI’s best man about his party, because it was driving me INSANE.  Although he probably thinks I’m crazy now, it was worth it – they didn’t get any strippers, because the Bridesmaid or Best Man knew what a world of pain Fiance would’ve been in if they had.  It also made me feel better, knowing that at least I had done everything I could to make my boundaries crystal clear.

You also need to communicate your concerns to your fiance… even if he doesn’t want to hear it.  ESPECIALLY if he doesn’t want to hear it!  And then tell him that if he doesn’t talk to his best man within a week, you’ll have to do it for him.

Post # 6
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I had my bachelorette party this weekend, we did an afternoon party where we went to two wineries for tastings, and then had dinner together.  It was a blast without being the over the top blowout that a lot of people stereotypically have.

I think it’s totally unacceptable for a bachelor party to include any kind of sexual acts between your man, or his friends, and a paid entertainer. 

Post # 7
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee

I would not talk to the Bridesmaid or Best Man about it, your Fiance is not a child.  This has nothing to do with Bridesmaid or Best Man who is apparently a john (and I would be concerned about my FI’s taste in friends if his friends bought sex acts, I think that is a terrible exploitative practice) it is about your Fiance and you.  He can do what he likes but you do not have to stay in a relationship with someone who cheats on you.  So uh, if he can’t stand up to Bridesmaid or Best Man and that means he’ll cheat on you… he shouldn’t be so certain that there is going to be a wedding.

That might be harsh but when I hear about FIs that ‘can’t’ stand up to their groomsmen it drives me crazy.

I would point it out to him that it is illegal, you don’t want him in the middle of illegal actions, it is really really yucky to ‘purchase’ sexuality and concerns you with how he sees those acts and women (okay that part might not apply to you but it would apply to me), that you aren’t comfortable with it, and that if anything does happen it will be the same as if he cheated at a non bachelorette party – you would reconsider the relationship. 

Sorry you’re dealing with this.

 

Post # 8
Member
1209 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

BJ’S? WTH? That would not be cool with me and I would be talking to EVERYBODY about it until I made that clear. I am ALL about having a good time, but that is taking it to far!

Post # 9
Member
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

For my bacholorette party, we are going out to have sushi & then going to a lounge type bar.  Nothing crazy, no “funny” straws or anything like that.  If I were younger, maybe, but I am not into that anymore.  Then with my FI’s bachelor party, the guy who is throwing it asked me for all the rules.  I gave him what I didn’t want to happen & he said that he would abide by that.  FI knows also, so I trust him.   I would object to a home party though.  There is trouble waiting to happen there!  Talk to Bridesmaid or Best Man about how you feel.  If he is a true friend to your Fiance, he wouldn’t want to do anything to upset you.

Post # 10
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Come to Tongue and Groove! I will put you on the VIP guestlist for you and ALL your guests!!! Free entry and champagne 🙂 Send me an email…

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