- 9 years ago
- Wedding: November 2008
Well I am married now, almost a year. My wedding in so many ways turned out far greater than I had ever imagined. I planned for a scale of say 5 or 6 and in the last month leading up my husband pushed it (and our spending) to 10+. I had the biggest, grandest wedding and the pictures; let me tell you, are epic!
That said the day for me was a nightmare. 3 things I couldnt control really put the nails on my cross. The first was my then FI’s bachelor party. Trust me when I tell you, he did NOT want to go to Las Vegas, didnt want that whole thing and really felt let down by his best friend who should have done what he asked for. (A guy’s weekend at a lodge somewhere, poker, movies, a roast of the future groom…something to video tape and enjoy for years to come) Seems like the whole exercise was an excuse for the married guys to get a little action. And the majority of them did. Disgusting. Yes, my husband told me and I hate knowing what I know about some of them now. Hate knowing it when I go to their houses for dinner, or have lunch with their wives. Incredibly, some of the guys who flew cross country to attend the Bachelor Party didnt manage to make it to our wedding. Tacky doesnt even begin to describe this.
I was livid that he went, not only for the obvious reasons but more so because, he didnt have the balls to stand up to his guy friends when he was being forced into something he swears he didnt want to do. I know you are all thinking he has pulled one over on me but I know him about this. I am not saying he is a saint but he is more likely to watch porn ALONE or have an affair with one girl in private than enjoy a stripper grinding on him in public. ESPECIALLY not in front of his friends. Trust me he is shy and embarassed about such things, and the fact that the girl is actually working (being paid to like him) does not escape him. Had he met some willing girl, alone in the bar that night, who knows what he might have done. Mind you there are times I wish he would play the animal bad boy with me but that isnt him. NONETHELESS, he went, knowing I was not happy about it, claiming to be mad at his friend, pissed at his brother and feeling jilted that none of his friends cared enough about him or knew him well enough to do what HE wanted rather than serve their own frustrated needs. In future I think bachelor parties should be held the night before you get engaged. That is my opinion but it marks the end of not being committed, so the idea of this debauchery leading up to a life together, well I’ve said enough.
I wish I could tell you I didnt have that layer of disgust on my wedding day and during the rehearsal dinner. No one saw it but it was there and it didnt occur to me to drink a lot of champaign to try to numb it. I dont drink much so I didnt think about it. I’d have traded a hangover for the gloomy malaise any day.
The other 2 nails on my wedding belong in another post but I would like to submit this one to all of you out there. It has changed the way I interact with these same guys, hurt me, portrayed my husband as a man who cant stand up for himself, completely broke the love spell I was in leading up to our wedding and believe me-I’m looking outside of that group for god-parents. My husband and I have not discussed this yet, but I dont see how I can justify any of them as options. Hope this helps at least one of you. And more than that I am hoping that blogging about it will help me get past it. Believe me, I have tried.