(Closed) Bachelor Party

posted 5 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
9649 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Jeanine:  ((HUGS))  I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this.  I don’t know what I would do in this situation, to tell you the truth.  He promised you one thing and did another.

He severely damaged your trust.  I hope he gets that that is why you’re upset more than anything.

I know it’s not the just “strip club” thing that’s bothering you, it’s the fact he broke his word.  I haven’t ever been to a strip club but I’ve heard they aren’t really that bad, at least that should be of some comfort to you.  Your Fiance was just going along with the guys and guys can really be jerks sometimes.

Post # 4
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Jeanine:  Hi, welcome to the hive.

I think that I would be mad if I were you, but realistically his arm was twisted and it is hard to say no in the heat of the moment. I don’t think strip clubs are cheating (although I can think of like 100 different places I’d rather my SO be at). I don’t think that making a rule like he’s a kid is going to work.

I agree that drawing the line at lap dances is a good idea, though.

Also… I’ve been to a strip club myself. For a bachelorette. It wasn’t a big deal. Strip clubs really are boring. It’s not like he’s going to take one of the girls home. The girls have zero interest in the guys who come in… they’re just trying to earn a living.

I don’t think you should base your trust on him on this one incident. As you can see from previous posts, it seems to happen a lot. It’s a recipe for disaster really… you get a bunch of drunken men together, of course they’ll do something stupid. I think bachelor/bachelorette parties are stupid in general. It’s not the last night of being single. It’s just something that tends to add more stress to the already stressful time of wedding planning!

As you say, he’s generally trustworthy. Let this one go.. you’ll feel a lot better.

Post # 5
Member
4313 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Guys are so immature sometimes.  You never see a bunch of girls in a bar pressuring each other to drink and then go to a nudie club.  Guys are… their own breed, in every sense of the word.

He should have never betrayed your trust.  To me, it means he thinks more of what his buddies think of him than what you think of him — spur of the moment or not. 

The strip club thing is one thing, but I think there might be more to this since you snoop through his stuff.  So a lot of trust issues need to be worked out.

And in the future, if you’re not comfortable with it, I don’t see why you should have to compromise your values — but make sure you’re in the same page and you believe what he says if he says he will not go.

Post # 7
Hostess
8579 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

It will take time, but I think you should forgive him.

 

Is it really worth throwing away your relationship because he got some jiggly boobs in his face from a STRIPPER he’ll never see again. Strippers aren’t interested in those men at the clubs, it’s just a means to put food on the table.

I think you have alot of trust issues with your fiance – if I couldn’t trust my fiance, I wouldn’t be marrying him.

 

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