Bachelor Party

posted 2 months ago in Emotional
  • poll:
  • Post # 16
    Member
    330 posts
    Helper bee

    I’d don’t think he’d be crying over a peck, OP. A peck is how my friends and I greet each other and say goodbye.

    Post # 17
    Member
    197 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2019

    What is the context we’re missing? I’m not excusing the behavior as I also would not be happy and would have some serious talks with my partner if this had been him, but I am curious what the bachelor party entailed and what the scenarios involved were. For example, I was watching a movie where a group of gals was at a bachelorette party and they played a “scavenger hunt”-type game with dares, clues, and questions. One of the dares was to kiss (peck) a stranger at a bar. The bride did, everyone laughed, they got their next clue, and went to the next location. When BOTH people have an understanding of what is acceptable behavior for a night out, it’s easier to accept a situation like the one I just gave. If this action was NOT okay in your book and he didn’t tell you about it until the guilt started to really get to him, then yeah, you two need to talk. WHY did he kiss them (peck or not, he was kissing two other girls), WHY does he feel bad, and WHY should you trust he wouldn’t do it again? Especially because you didn’t think that was in his character to do in the first place. 

    Post # 18
    Member
    1047 posts
    Bumble bee

    I’m totally not believing it was just a little peck. The crying kind of nails it for me.

    Honestly I think bachelor parties are a really trashy institution. The time for getting crazy is when you’re single, not about to get married.

    Post # 19
    Member
    3509 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    hunter20 :  in some cases, infidelity can be worked through. it very much depends on WHY the infidelity occured, and how willing partners are to move past it. it’s not impossible.

    that said, i’m going to tell you something that’s gonna be hard to hear. i don’t think you should marry him, and i think you should probably break up. here’s why: i think the likely reason he kissed other women is because you’re young and you’ve only ever been with each other, and there’s some part of him that wants to have other sexual life experiences outside of this one relationship. and that’s something that’s really hard to work through without seeing other people. and it’s totally natural and normal.

    i’m not saying that a young relationship CAN’T work. it cann. but it’s so much harder. it’s hard to grow together and not feel like you’ve missed out on a large part of life and learning who you are as a person when you start dating young. it’s hard to grow and remain compatible. a lot changes in your early 20s in terms of development and growth. and i think the reality is probably that you love each other and care for the other person deeply…but you met too soon and you’re really not ready for each other. and i think that his kissing other women is the first sign of that bubbling to the surface. he might not be sleeping around now, but…i wouldn’t be surprised if it happens in the next 5 or 10 years.

    Post # 20
    Member
    3509 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    sunburn :  not all bachelor parties involve “getting crazy”. in fact, i’d say MOST of them don’t. most bachelor parties these days focus on spending quality time with a group of guy friends, and dont involve strippers or other women, etc.

    Post # 21
    Member
    1047 posts
    Bumble bee

    catskillsinjune :  I don’t share your optimism. I’ve just heard and seen way too much,

    Post # 22
    Member
    45 posts
    Newbee

    Wow Bee, I’m so sorry you’re going through this . This is such a terrible thing to happen to anyone especially during this time that is supposed to be one of the happiest times of your life. I agree with the other bees who say you should at the very least postpone it while you take time to gather your thoughts and reflect on what just happened. If you continue with the wedding plans you won’t be able to fully process and think about what happened, it will just be shoved to the back of your mind and resurface after the wedding. Take time to think about what happened and if you want to continue in this relationship. Personally to me this is completely unacceptable. 

    Post # 23
    Member
    3509 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    sunburn :  it wasn’t optimism, it was based on almost a dozen actual bachelor parties that Darling Husband has been to (including his own) in the past 3 years. Maybe you’re dating the wrong guys. 

    Post # 24
    Member
    5379 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 1997

    I guess some people are more sensitive than others, but a “peck” wouldn’t count as cheating to me, nor would I ever think of telling a spouse about it, let alone crying about it. D H watches me kiss his boss hello and goodbye (he’s Dutch, and very huggy-kissy); it’s just not that big a deal, whether it is a peck on the cheek or the lips. 

    So why is your Fiance a blubbering mess? I’m betting it’s a whole lot more than a peck…

    Post # 25
    Member
    227 posts
    Helper bee

    Is it a peck on the lips or on the cheek? If it’s cheek no biggie and I don’t see the need to cry over it. If it’s on the lips it’s a bit different and I am afraid it’s not just that.

    Post # 26
    Member
    365 posts
    Helper bee

    I’m puzzled…. I often greet both female and male friends with a kiss on the cheek. It wouldn’t even enter my head that this was inappropriate! What does he mean by a peck?

     

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