Post # 16
Conclusion: we spoke a bit. He told me he wasn’t planning on going anyway. Waste of money he can use on beer. He knows I’m anxious and he thinks it was because how crappy he was in the beginning of our relationship with other women around me. There was more personal stuff in between.. but I think we’re gonna find a way to get this trust thing together.. this was a good step. I do want to thank everyone.
Post # 17
- Wedding: July 2019 - City, State
Have you tried seeking out a mentor courtly through a church or counseling. My fiancé and I are using a mentor couple it has really helped us. They are a neutral party to talk us through problems like this. We are also forced to confront stuff and explain our exact feelings. He just needs a man in a successful marriage to explain to him that you being his future wife you are his first priority. If you aren’t comfortable with it then it shouldn’t. Happen.sheaswhitexeyes :
Post # 18
sheaswhitexeyes : My first thought:
Why be with someone you cannot fully trust? Second thought: why be with someone who does not respect your wishes?
I would step back and really consider this before marriage.
Post # 19
Indeed, trust is the point here. If you trust, you give a freedom of choice for your bf. When something bothers you, just speak, initiate the talk about both parties. Ask whether there are some limitations for a bachelorette party and then tell about your undesired options for bachelor’s party. It will be honest. Moreover, be sure your boy will do anything if he really wants this and nothing will stop him. But you wrote he was a good gay, so why you were going insane?
Post # 20
sheaswhitexeyes : . I guess it’s better saying he’s easy to persuade him. His cousin and brother would bully him into whatever.
I believe in the old saying that ‘if someone told you to jump off a cliff, would you??’ If you aren’t stupid enough to jump off a cliff because someone told you to, then you aren’t stupid enough to have someone pressure you into a lap dance or worse…. Alcohol doesn’t make you into someone you are not. Your fiancé isn’t a teenager so the peer pressure excuse isn’t a thing. If he’s still immature to the point of being a sheep then he isn’t old enough to get married.
Post # 21
That’d be a no for me but me and my partner have agreements on not doing things like that. We see loyalty as focusing our attention on each other. I once read a mans opinion online about porn nudity in films and strip clubs and he said as he was married he wouldn’t do those things as it’s not good for him as in it’d feed a desire for other women. I think that’s pretty honest and fair. My partner was asked by his brother to go to a stag do abroad one of these party locations and he said no straight up. We also try to treat each other how we’d like to be treated so if he wouldn’t like male strippers bits in my face then he doesn’t do that to me. Try talking to him gently and saying I wasn’t so bothered before but I’m head over hills in love now and I can’t be excited about spending the rest of my life with you when that means you admiring naked women first. If you didnt feel the need to do this when we were dating why would you do it before I make a huge commitment to you…. maybe say it gentler though I’m terrible with words