(Closed) Bachelor party and strippers….can't believe Im this upset

posted 9 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
25 posts

I think you need to get over it. He did nothing wrong. Don’t make him feel guilty about one event (that probably lasted 30 seconds) ruin his whole memory of his bachelor party.

Post # 4
2567 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Let it go. Your fiancé can’t go back in time to undo it.

Post # 5
767 posts
Busy bee

I honestely do think you should just let it go and get over it.

He hasn’t done anything to hurt you – he was drunk and playing about with his friends. As you said – it wasn’t sexual and there’s nothing to be upset about.

As for feeling embarrassed because your brother was there, that’s again something not worth worrying about. Do you think your brother will have less respect for him because he got up on the stage? Chances are your brother knew exactly what was going on and won’t care about it in the slightest.

What’s done is done. It wasn’t his fault and it certainly isn’t his fault that you’re upset about it. I personally don’t even think he needed to apologise for it, either. Because you didn’t say “no don’t do that” and he did it anyway. So he shouldn’t have to be sorry. But that’s my opinion.

Let it go.

Post # 7
7439 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Curious, what is his take on Strip Clubs now… has it changed since this experience?

And for the record I get WHY you are upset.

Because you actually see it for what it was… not funny at all… but quite obviously a humiliating experience (and a PAINFUL one for your Hubby-2-B).

I’m always upset when something happens awful to Mr TTR… stubs a toe, gets a splinter… whatever, because I LOVE him and hate to see him hurting.  Only understandable. 

You obviously are feeling for your guy because you love him… and be it physical pain (the whipping) or emotional pain (the humiliation), I think your response is totally normal given the circumstances.


Post # 9
25 posts

Grooms feel a lot of pressure to go along with bucks night plans and no-one likes to be a party pooper so I get him feeling like he had to do it.

Just remember it could have been way worse!

Post # 11
1258 posts
Bumble bee

I think you’re going to have to work through it and get past it, because what is the alternative? But I totally understand why you’re upset. 

And when, WHEN, are grooms going to get it through their heads that saving face for the guys – in the moment when they’re going along with something they don’t even want to do – is a bad idea? That it will not have any good outcomes? 

Post # 12
697 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Wow.  Just wow.  My Fiance says he’s seen it happen before and the guy (your fiance) has no control over it.  I am a lawyer and I can’t even imagine how the friends can sign away his rights to sue…I guess I need to look this up!  Anyway, I would be FURIOUS with the friends and make sure they are un-invited to the wedding or wedding party.  These are not friends you want to keep associating with.

Post # 13
4 posts
  • Wedding: October 2013

What are you planning on doing about it? Can you undo what’s already been done? I think you’ve already made your point — he knows it upset you. There’s not much more he can do than apologize. As long as he doesn’t make it a regular occurance I wouldn’t be too worried. The great thing about bachelor parties is that he’ll never have another one.

Post # 15
3338 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’ve seen this in person before, and it is not sexual at all.  It’s actually quite funny and meant to be a comical thing.

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