(Closed) Bachelor Party, do I have the right to be upset?

posted 10 years ago in Parties
Post # 182
Member
3209 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Wow I’m sorry this is happening to you 🙁 he completely violated your trust. I would be humiliated, apalled/disguisted, hurt and angry. I’m also extremely amazed At how your FI’s friend completely disregarded your wishes and thought that these bachelor party ideas/activities were ok. A real friend wouldn’t put you in a position where the relAtionship and marriage with the love if your life was in jeaopardy all for his own selfish reasons. I would be beyond PO’ed at that individual.

More importantly, how is Fiance reacting? Is he brushing it off or is apologizing perfusely, ashamed and embarrassed? That would be a huge deciding factor for me in deciding about the future of the wedding and relationship.

Good luck girl… I can’t imagine how hurt you must feel. Just know that whatever you decidE to do is okay and justified if you feel it is the right decision for you. We will support you

Post # 183
Member
572 posts
Busy bee

@MrsKittyMt:  Except from what the OP just said, it sounds like he already got a pretty hefty snack…

I would put my foot down at a “private” lap dance, let alone anything else!  Only you know what really happened, but I read all your others comments and you sounded WAY more forgiving than I am, so if this was enough to make you think of cancelling then go with your gut.   You can do better.

Did you confront him?  Has he gotten on his knees and begged for forgiveness (like he should!)?  Keep us posted!

EDIT:  I’m also in the camp of report the club and especially tell the wives and girlfriends.  They need to know for their own safety if their boys with getting nasty with strippers and possibly coming home and giving it to the girlfriends/wives…

Post # 184
Member
474 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@MrsKittyMt:  If you look at post 167 the OP came back and updated that her Fiance did engage in activites that were enough to make her consider calling the wedding off. She hasn’t gone into detail but to me it sounds like he did more than work up an appetite, it sounds like he indulged his appetite

Post # 185
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012

  

 

Post # 186
Member
4685 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

Been following this thread and I am so sorry that things turned out this way 🙁

Post # 187
Member
614 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I wouldn’t be pleased.  I would let them know.  I am afraid that I am going to run into a similar issue.  Although I completely trust Fiance and have no concerns, I do know that his best man has a thing for prostitutes and is always trying to buy Fiance a BJ.   I know that he can handle his own with this guy, so I wouldn’t be crazy about it.  I know Fiance wouldn’t do anything, but what if they all got arrested for hiring hookers (I find it hard to accept that an escort is anything else)

Post # 188
Member
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Oh gosh I’m so sorry to hear…I didn’t know that strip clubs can get paid extra on top of a private lap dance??? Do they honestly do stuff?? I’m concerned I already had a talk with my guy about private dances and I am not ok with them…I know he wouldn’t pay extra for anything but I wouldn’t put it past his friends paying for something for him…idk so is your wedding still on? Did you guys talk some more?

 

Post # 189
Member
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Any update OP?! i’ve been thinking of you. i hope you’re okay!

Post # 190
Member
2001 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Agree with PPs that the other wives/girlfriends need to know about this so they can take whatever steps they need to take to protect their sexual health.

Post # 191
Member
2051 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2006

OP, stop by for an update if you get a chance. We’re all waiting on pins and needles, curious but more so concerned!

 

Post # 192
Member
3209 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Agreed! Been following the post and hoping it works out for you!

Post # 194
Member
209 posts
Helper bee

ACK! Sorry OP. I bet your guy is really regretting what happened. I can’t imagine having an upset fiancee right before your wedding is enjoyable. I don’t blame you one bit though, I would be LIVID!

 

Post # 195
Member
474 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@thatprettylady:  You don’t have to answer if you don’t want but, did he physically cheat on you or was he just in the environment (like watched two girls or watch his friend particpate in something)?

Post # 196
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

So sorry you had to go through this…my Fiance and his friends are going to DR for his bachelor party and just like you said I trust him like hell but I know that circumstances can get really above their heads really quick. And since they are going to another country who KNOWS what they will allow over there?

I’m glad you worked things out with your beau. I hope everything else goes off smoothly, counseling would help a great deal!

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