(Closed) Bachelor party Dread

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 31
Member
1171 posts
Bumble bee

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dalia88 :  In my opinion, If that’s the case he doesn’t deserve to marry OP.

If you’d ignore you’re wife to be’s feelings & lie about going that makes him a pretty shit person.

Post # 32
Member
705 posts
Busy bee

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railroaderwifeyxo :  absolutely! Very glad other women on here are proud to stand up against this bullshit

Post # 33
Member
1277 posts
Bumble bee

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coachwifey :  how is that helpful in the least. Ok you paid for your hubby’s lapdances…..good for you? Would you like an award? Or is that your advice…for OP to pay for the lapdances she’s uncomfortable with? 

Post # 34
Member
748 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

OP, have you been to a strip club? Have you met a stripper and talked to her about what her job is like? I realize the second one is trickier, but the first one really isn’t. Try it. Go to a strip club. See what it’s actually like. See a dude get a lapdance. I was always really against strip clubs, until I went to one.

For the record, I am now one of the women who are cool with them. Now I can actually speak from a place of understanding when my fiance and I talk about him going to a strip club because I’m not just imagining what I think it’s like, which is probably the worst possible vision of a strip club one could have. I’ve seen it and I know. I always find it’s better to speak from a place of knowledge instead of dread/imagination. Heck ask your fiance to bring you to one!

ETA: we agreed that he’s free to go to a strip club, he just needs to be honest about it, and tell me how much money he spent. I drew the line at a private show in a hotel room where it gets really sexual and over the top. There’s gray area and boundaries even in the most accepting of relationships!

Post # 35
Member
10635 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

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dwobride :  

Well if you are serious that you really will not marry him if his bachelor party includes a strip club, then of course you need to tell him that .  If that’s how you feel,  that’s how you feel!

I do think you are getting  a bit hyper about it a bit soon though . I mean the wedding isn’t for another year and a half is it ? I would have one serious but not dramatic or threatening conversation now about how much you utterly hate it and then let it go until such time as you think you may have to revisit it , (like if the best man is talking about strip joints  or whatever)

You may never even have to revisit it ! 

Post # 36
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee

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abwcmo :  I don’t think that’s the point at all. In OP’s opinion, her fiance watching another half naked/naked woman is disrespectful to her (and I honestly agree). How would watching a stripper make her feel any more comfortable with the situation?

Post # 37
Member
748 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

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princessbeec :  I don’t think its a stretch to say that people generally have a fear or are uncomforable with the unknown/unfamiliar. OP was asking how to have the conversation or get her point across. I didn’t just repeat the echo chamber of agreement on here that strip clubs are dirty and any groom who goes to one is digusting. I told her there was a way to better understand and come at it from a different perspective that she might not have already.

OP, if you’re still against them after trying to better understand the reality of them, or if you already do understand the reality of them, by all means, have that talk with your fiance about boundaries and what’s considered cheating and he should respect the shit out of it or that’s a serious red flag.  

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