(Closed) Bachelor party gone wrong

posted 9 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 92
Member
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@Sunfire:  I second this. He had no idea that you had a problem with this and just, well, ran with it. You can be upset, but you can’t put all of the blame on him. Talk about it, but don’t throw accusations. It’s not like he’s going to do it again.

Post # 93
Member
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Man I can’t wait to use this justification to get away with this – Well honey you never SAID I COULDN”T CHEAT ON YOU with Tom Hardy, so you have NO right to get pissed!!!

I didn’t know you’d get mad that I painted our house plaid!!! You never SAID not to!!!!

I never heard you once say that you didn’t want me to punt puppies over the roof!!!! WHY are you so angry!!!

LOL. Jesus.

Post # 94
Member
3457 posts
Sugar bee

I would be livid. No restrictions doesn’t actually mean anything goes! Some things are obvious. Is it really necessary to spell out every specific thing that shouldn’t go on with a stripper?

Post # 96
Member
2143 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

@wedding39:  EW at your last update!!  ew.  yuck.

I think you’re handling it pretty well, though.  That’s awesome that your groomsmen are so remorseful that one is driving up to apologize to you, and I agree there’s no point in stirring up drama with all of their girlfriends/wives.  If any other details come out that there was touching or more than just looking going on, then you need to take some action.  But I think you’re in a good place right now!

Post # 97
Member
2639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Oh my…it’s like that scene from Requiem for a Dream. Eww! I would love to tell the wife/girfriend of whoever planned this what happened.

@Pixie79:  I never heard you once say that you didn’t want me to punt puppies over the roof!!!! WHY are you so angry!!!  Stop it, you are going to make me pee my pants!

OP: I guess the thing to keep in mind, it doesn’t seem (unless I missed something) that this was FI’s idea/plan. The fact that he feels horrible about it is a good sign. It was incredibly disrespectful to you, and all of those men involved owe you a huge apology- it’s also good to see that they’re doing this. Ugh!

Hope everything from here on our is smooth sailing, you definitely deserve a stress-free wedding day after this!

Post # 98
Member
3457 posts
Sugar bee

I would use this as an opportunity to get a few things around the house fixed. I think those guys involved have some time to help out.

Post # 99
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’m totally cool with my DH going to strip clubs – seriously, couldn’t care less – but if he brought strippers to my home, I’d be piiiissed.  I told my DH there were no restrictions for him as well, but any reasonable person will hear that and still be respectful of their significant other.  I would never even have THOUGHT of telling him not to bring strippers to our home.  Who would think of that??  Do you have to go through and say everything you think wouldn’t be okay?  No restrictions except for the following: No strippers in our home, no donkey shows, no murdering homeless people, no driving your car off a cliff into a lake, no drunken spearfishing, no stealing police helicopters..  Ridiculous.  He and his friends should have realized that just because you’re apparently laid back and trusting enough to allow them free reign does not mean that they can walk all over you and disrespect you in that way.  

Obviously, it’s over, and there’s nothing you can do to change what happened.  But that doesn’t mean that you should just completely forget about it and move on.  Everyone who partook in the event should be made to understand just how hurt and betrayed you feel.  I LOVE the idea of making them all come and deep clean your house.  They should absoLUTEly be made to pay for what they did, and this will go some small way toward doing that.  As for your Fiance, you just need to fully explain your feelings to him. Don’t yell at him; just calmly explain how hurt you are.  If he’s worth keeping around, he’ll be equally as hurt that he caused you pain, and he’ll work for a long time to make it up to you and earn back your trust.

Post # 100
Member
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would think it’s common sense not to have some strange woman getting naked in your home, whether she’s a stripper or not. That’s your home, not a strip club!

Post # 101
Member
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

OP should go to men’s houses and give them private sexy dances!! I bet her Fiance would just love that! Then she could say “but you didn’t SPECIFY!!!”

Post # 102
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m really sorry the OP has to deal with this unfortnate experience.  I don’t understand why society gives men a “free pass” by saying he was too drunk to know what he was doing….or a “free pass” because “boys will be boys” mentality.

Not to get the OP more angry, but I would prefer my Fiance go to a strip club rather than have a stripper come to the house (any house) for a show.  Strippers that actually come to a private home do a lot more raunchy things that can (and sometime do) end up crosing the line…whether it’s oral sex and/or intercouse. 

I work in a male dominated industry (i.e. I.T.) and I end up hearing some “locker room guy talk” since I work in a cubicle.  I’ve heard, from men, how cheating occurs at private stripper bachelor parties.  One game involves a man laying on the floor a stripper putting a lolipop in her snatch (the stick part of the lolipop) and then strattles the man’ face….allowing the man to suck on the lolipop while his lips are touching her snatch! 

I say don’t get mad OP.  Get even!  Hire some male strippers (think Magic Mike!) and get your joy ride on!

Post # 103
Member
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I trust my Fiance 100%, I wouldve been the same way, no restrictions. BUT, if they had strippers in MY house. I would be just as upset.

Its not the Strippers that bother me here, its that it was in the home you share. That’s not fair.

I would definitely feel disrespected though. 🙁

 

Post # 104
Member
567 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I am obviously in the minority, but I would just be giving him an ‘oh my god you guys are morons look’ and then I would get over it. Stupid sh*t happens, that’s why they are bachelor parties. Stupid sh*t is supposed to happen at bachelorette parties as well. I couldn’t see my Fiance getting that mad if my girls and I were at my house and a policeman and fireman show up for a supicious emergency call and proceed to disrobe. Maybe this is just more common for women because there aren’t many male strip clubs but it’s basically the same thing. 

Post # 105
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee

@Treeline:  Did you read the sex toy thing? 

I cannot understand why people don’t care that their FIs go to strip clubs. I absolutely hate it, I hate that they exist, I hate that the system is such that women have to do that. I wonder how many women pretend to be cool with it so they don’t look possessive, boring, or jealous. The more I learned about what happens inside stripclubs the more I am against it. My BF has gone twice and it upset me a lot both times. The worst part is the guys’ mentality – that they deserve to have another naked woman grinding on them, talking dirty to them, because they’re going through the PAIN and LOSS of marriage (“only one vagina the rest of your life.”) The guys also can’t fully enjoy the experience if they see the stripper as a person (unlike the wholesome wife-to-be) so they dehumanize her. It’s a sick virgin-whore thing.

It further boggles my mind that FI’s father was there. I would never want to participate in sexual voyeurism with my child, or conversely, see my father’s sexual side…

You can’t even bad mouth the guys to their gfs/wives cause then YOU’LL be the evil harpy bitch forever. We’ve gotta stop letting men get away with all this “we can’t heeelp it” shit. They pretend to be all clueless and incompetent but then why the hell is it all men running the show?

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