(Closed) Bachelor party in Mexico – should I be upset? And if not, how do i get over it?

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
8444 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@sharpmarker:  5 days seems a bit excessive.  Would it be weird for you to go on the trip too?  If not, why not take a nice vacation to visit family and friends?  I don’t think I could sit in an apt alone for 5 days while my Fiance was in Mexico.  *HUGS*

Post # 4
304 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

It’s easy to say but dont be mad! Just make sure your stagette is extra awesome! Is there no way you could even go to Vegas for two nights? 

Post # 5
3092 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We thought it was important that our parties or whatever balanced out.  We’re doing them a couple days before the wedding bc it’s a semi destination wedding for everyone except FI’s family and friends.  So we’re both doing day outings separately and then going to meet up as a group for drinks and billiards.

FI’s friends of course immediately thought Vegas and then SF as a close second.  Fiance had to help them understand that us ladies are traveling to their turf, wouldn’t know where to go out etc and so they’re working on hosting for everyone.  I think it’s very considerate.

TBH if I were in your shoes I’d be peeved too. 

Post # 7
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

5 days is wayyy to long for a bachelor party. Weekend (aka 2

Nights tops!) I’m lucky. My guy is not into the Bach party thing at all.

Post # 8
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I dont see the problem. I’d definitely Be jealous and try to get on the trip myself though! I’m super bummed my Fiance isn’t having a Bach party – he deserves it!

Post # 9
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

You always have a right to be mad (or to whatever feelings you have). Your feelings aren’t right or wrong; they just are what they are. But if I were you, I would try to separate the bach party, the honeymoon planning, and your sense of isolation out. Mixing them all up just makes it harder for you to be fair to him, and to make good decisions about how to address the issues. Without the other two issues, would you have an problem with MX? If not, then let that go, and focus on addressing the other two.

Post # 10
6741 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

Is it too late to replan your party?  OR, ask your Maid/Matron of Honor just to go away with you – to vegas or something?  To do something better with your party so you’re less jealous of his?

Here’s the thing – he planned his party around his one friend who bailed.  The only person who should feel sour about that is him, not you.  That’s his problem.  And I’m sure if he didn’t really want to go to Mx, then he wouldn’t have planned it there. 

You should be happy for him that he gets to go on this vacation and have a good time.  Granted, he is leaving for an excessive amount of time, but I’m assuming you had some sort of advance notice of this – could you not take off from work and go home to visit friends/family?

It also seems like you’re holding on to the resentment for moving to the city – like you did it for him.  I think you did it for the BOTH of you and maybe you made some sacrafices, but that’s something that I’m assuming the two of you came to an agreement on and is better than being in a long distance relationship.  If you’re unhappy about that part of the relationship, that’s different and shouldn’t even come to play with him going on a bachelor party.  Maybe 5 days is a bit long, but really what’s the difference between 2 or 3 or 5 days?  It’s just a few short days – take this time to enjoy some quiet time to yourself or explore your new city alone or do something that he won’t do or see a movie he won’t see with you, etc. 

I also get the feeling that he’s already on this bach party or it’s been planned.  So I say – let it go.  Let it go by doing something awesome for you that you haven’t done because of him and then move past it.  Let it go by thinking about how much fun he’s probably having and how it’ll probably be the last vacation without you.  Let it go by planning an awesome honeymoon to the location of your choice – something he should be doing, but that you should enjoy taking control over.  Let it go by adding an extra excursion or massage or something for your honeymoon. 

Post # 11
9139 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

5 days in Mexico doing what? 5 days of strip clubs and prostitutes sounds scary. Are they going fishing? hiking? sightseeing? It sounds like they are planning a spring break trip and adding on his bachelor’s party. I would want an itinerary but ultimately I would be most comfortable with no more than 2 nights for a bachelor’s party.

Post # 13
516 posts
Busy bee

I’m glad it ended up working out for you.  I’m sure he’ll plan a lovely honeymoon for you both!

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