(Closed) Bachelor party issues…I just don’t get it

posted 11 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 152
Member
978 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@catalyst: I have been to multiple strip clubs, in multiple states, been to many parties with private strippers hired all from different companies.  Not once have I seen sex acts allowed.  Maybe you were actually working at a brothel, not a strip club.  And I mean that seriously.

Post # 153
Member
1374 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@luckyprincess:

No big.  Apparently she takes her username to heart. 

Okay, I’ll play:

If our men want to have sex with other women the night of the bachelor party, well it’s all about having fun before the commitment, right?  Bring the ladies on! And if they want to hook up with an ex for just one last go round, why should we care.  I mean, obviously they dont have to be committed to us until the day they say ‘I do’ ….woo-hoo party on men!

agreed. I have a friend that is a stripper and let me tell you what she has told me some diiiiiiiiiiiiiiirty doins that go down at strip clubs.

So I’m gonna argue using the same logic.  One time, this client of mine told me that when the Craigslist hooker stings go down, the cops get a handjob before they make the arrest.  Clearly you should never be in a room alone with a cop because they totally rape everyone.

See? Making herculean leaps in logic is fun!  Let’s all play!

Post # 154
Member
1088 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

For me, what it comes down to is this:

I personally appreciate the art of erotic dance/burlesque/pole dancing/stripping, whatever you want to call it. It’s not as easy as these women make it look!* When it’s done well, it can be really quite beautiful and captivating. There are some very talented women who strip for a living or even just for fun. Who am I to tell them that they have no right to do with their bodies as they choose? Or to judge them as being less deserving of my respect? And if I’m gonna look and enjoy, I can’t very well be mad at my Fiance for doing the same, can I?

Where I would draw the line is if he started spending money on it, money that he wouldn’t ordinarily have spent on a night out. Cover charges, fine. Drinks at the strip club, fine. A few dollar bills to tuck into a g-string, fine. If his friends want to buy him a dance at his bachelor party, great! But I wouldn’t want him to start splurging our money on strippers, because that would mean strippers have become a bigger priority for him than other important things in our life. That’s purely hypothetical because my fears of this happening are about nil. My fears of my Fiance actually doing “something” with a stripper are absolutely zero.

Hence I really don’t mind if Fiance goes to a strip club. He recently went for a bachelor party and I didn’t even bat an eye. In fact, he was a bit hesitant since he didn’t know all the other guys that well, and I told him to go and have fun! Several of my girlfriends’ boyfriends were there too, and we seriously wanted to join in! But we decided to let them have their boys only night and had our own night out instead. 🙂

* I actually tried to replicate some moves once, alone at home. Thank god no one was watching, because my provocative dancing could only be described as “awkward” and perhaps “unintentionally hilarious.” From then on, I vowed to leave the sexy dancing to the pros!

Post # 155
Member
978 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@lezlers: You made me giggle again.  And I think I stir shit up as much as you do! hahaha. 

Post # 156
Member
127 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

@luckyprincess: Hi Lucky, I’ve worked in about 6 clubs as a dancer and 1 club as a cocktail waitress in 2 big cities located about 8 hours apart on the East Coast.  My ex went to a club on the West coast with his friends…one paid for a sex act for all the guys there and before he knew it, he was taken into a back room where the stripper unzipped his pants and performed oral sex on him. She tried to have intercourse with him, but he was freaked out  by the situation.  3 of the clubs I worked in were very high-end clubs, 1 was low-end, and 2 were average.  The same thing happened in all of them.

So I  dont think it just happens in my area. 

I’m not surprised that female customers  dont see everything. They are more careful with female customers. The problem in the clubs is that the dancers are not protected. Money talks.  Want to get away with more? Tip the bouncer.  We turned in a customer who repeatedly exposed himself and forced his fingers inside girls during dances….guess what? he was a good paying customer who tipped the bouncers so they looked the other way. this isnt the only story I can tell- trust me!! there are a slew of them.

If women want to believe it’s just innocent ogling…so be it.  It’s probably easier to deal with if you think it’s innocent and harmless. 

 

Post # 157
Member
978 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@catalyst: Maybe you’re just attracted to working at brothels then.  I have a bunch of friends who are strippers and not one of them would ever prostitute themselves, and they’re all very close with the bouncers at their clubs, they think of them as “big brothers”.

Post # 158
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I’m totally on your bandwagon! My Fiance won’t wear his contacts drinking so he won’t be able to see anything anyway hahahah Wink

 

I’m encouraging general hilarity, and would galdly provide a costume for him to wear. Due to what they did to his friend on his bachelor party however he won’t have one! Apparently dressing a man in a dress, with a disney chain and ball and a helmet saying pee-pee then putting him on  a chair and table in the middle of a traffic island and throwing bread to attract the seagulls doesn’t set you up for an easy bachelor party!

Post # 159
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@KLP2010: As long as the unicorn isn’t playing “hide the kitty.” 😉

Post # 160
Member
1088 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@catalyst: I do believe you, and I love reading “insider perspectives” on any industry, so thanks for sharing what you’ve experienced.

Even so, I’m not bothered by the idea of my Fiance going to a strip club. If my Fiance did something with a stripper it would be his choice, and if he’s going to make such a stupid choice then it’s his loss when I kick him to the curb. However I trust his judgment completely, so I’m not worried.

Post # 161
Member
127 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Wow, I’m really surprised at how defensive and accusatory many of you are. I haven’t attacked anyone, have I?

Post # 162
Member
881 posts
Busy bee

@catalyst:

Blah blah – honestly don’t believe you, sorry.  Strippers are not prostitutes like the ones you know and work with.  You need to really remember that – prostitutes do sex acts for money.  Strippers do not.  And yes, I think it’s either where you choose to work or your area. 

I’m sorry to be so blunt with you, but I don’t usually suffer trollish behavior well.  If you hang out with people/work with people that perform sex for money then you need to take responsibility for that.  I know where I’ve been and what I’ve seen and I also doubt they have a fake bookcase with a hidden button that reveals a secret room where all of the sex goes down Undecided 

And even in the event that there was such a Scooby Doo room and that was the absoulte reality of every strip club everywhere and money is being exchanged for b jobs hand over fist – I’m still not worried about my bf going because he is not going to partake in all of the mindless frenzy of sex buying that you have clearly seen that no one else ever has at any club. 

Post # 163
Member
741 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@catalyst: Again, I’m calling troll because how have we gotten defensive? You’re looking for us to start feeling guilty about letting our guys go to strip clubs. Not working.

Post # 164
Member
978 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@catalyst: Maybe if you hadn’t entered the thread with such a sarcastic, rude comment people would have been more receptive to your insite.

Post # 165
Member
314 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@luckyprincess: Thank you for your reply :-). LOL a big bouncer would not make it very romantic :-P.

From the two replys that I got (thank you so much btw), It seems as though the frequency is not like once a month thing or anything. It is just in the context of having a good time and appears to be more of a friend/bonding experience. Just because I am curious, what consitutes a problem? What is considered too much in regards to frequency? I do not know much about this topic, so I am just sincerely interested. I like to hear what other peoples takes are on things. I know a person who would go like every day and can’t live without going every day obviously has a problem, but this is an extreme example. What is the cut off between acceptable and problematic? 

 

View original reply
@catalyst: I think you have an interesting perspective to add to this. You have worked in this environment and may know things that we don’t know much about. Thank you for expressing your point of view.

Post # 166
Member
741 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@luckyprincess: the truth!! Just because someone elses fiance couldn’t be trusted to get a stripper off his penis before she went to town I dont’ see why we should have to worry.

The topic ‘Bachelor party issues…I just don’t get it’ is closed to new replies.

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