Post # 1
I am brand new to WB and I am hoping you wont hold this against me but I looked at some of the postings and realised I can learn a few things and be of some help here!
I dont work now, I am full time planning my fabulous wedding. But I would like to tell you all something, I worked in Las Vegas as an exotic dancer (yes topless) and I have to tell you that everything that goes on in clubs is not all hands off. We have private rooms and once you go there, its basically anything goes. There is also a ton of "out-call" these private rooms and whatever else we do IS HOW WE MAKE OUR MONEY, trust me, we arent making $2,000 a night by singles stuffed into our panties! I have also had future grooms at bachelor parties call me for years after their wedding. One called me several times from his honeymoon and as far as I know he is still married. He is mega rich so I’m guessing she doesnt care. I dont consider myself a home wrecker, I never had a relationship with any married guy, I really know that if it were not me then he’d be doing this stuff with some other girl–and maybe one that isnt as careful as I am about health and hygiene, even that said I HAVE gotten a Y.I. from giving lap dances, obviously from another girl who was there before me or from the guy himself, its pretty gross but what can ya do? At least I would book out and not come to work until I was better. (Obviously guys arent washing their jeans in between!)
As for my future husband I believe we have a better than average chance of making it because I know what he wants and I will give it to only him. He has agreed NEVER to go with another girl or to a club or anything else, its going to be just us. I would not marry him if he still wanted some outside stimulation. I am obviously not dancing anymore! I’m only doing private partied for him now.
Some of you will probably judge me for having been a dancer but let me tell you, I am doing you a favor by telling you the truth, Most men are dogs and I think I understand them better than most women,
Hope this helps
Post # 3
thanks for your honesty beach baby. hopefully more girls can understand why some girls just will NOT allow their men to go to strip clubs.
Post # 4
Thank you SO much for your honesty! I kinda sorta knew this and dont know why we all accept it under the guise of "rite of passage", Throughout history many things have been allowed, Kings were allowed to do as they pleased, chinese took concubines, our own president diddled his intern and we said OH ITS OK, he only lied about something that every red blooded man would lie about. I seriously think it is time for us to stand up and make some parameters because frankly, I dont know exactly <span class=”Apple-style-span” style=”font-style: italic”>what I am going to do when this comes up for my Fiance (and it will) but I am leaning toward saying me or some entertainment. He can have a whole life of strip clubs and indiscretions, he just can have me. I hope I can manage this frankly, I dont know. I just have to think we should be more evolved at this point, we shouldnt accept it.
I dont want a clandestine adventure with some paid stud, and so I would say no, I think he should do the same. If it does cost me my marriage am I losing anything? Honestly I am grateful to you Beach Baby, for telling us what we all know but pretend we dont. Where does it end?
Post # 5
Thank you for the honest post.
With that said, I think if ppl have to tell their fiancee/bf/husband to not go to these places …you should mention it once. After that, I would consider it common sense on the guy’s part. If he wants to "forget" this promise, I think it becomes intentional. No girl/guy needs to always feel like they need to keep an extra eye on their significat other.
@BeachBaby – best of wishes on your upcomming wedding!
Post # 6
what percentage of the men who go to stripclubs get this "special treatment" and what percentage are just there to hang out and watch?
Post # 7
To rerun: Percentage-wise on bachelor parties (we usually know its a bachelor party) because they have a to do a guarantee on drinks etc to get close to the stage or a roped off area or a large reservation–anyway, I would say 99% of the bachelors-the guy getting married, gets at least one lap dance, usually he will get one bought for him by every one of his friends who are there and usually one or more will buy him time in a private room, Of that same group of guys about 90% of the guys will get a lap dance themselves and about half end up in the private room. Private room depending on the club is going to cost between $80 and $600 depending on WHAT and how long, how many guys, how much contact etc, we girls usually prefer the security guy stays in but they have seen it all and dont pay much attention, To get one of them to leave it would have to be my decision and would only be a regular–other girls dont care if they are alone b/c frankly they would rush in if I called for them, I usually prefer them because most (not all) guys are less likely to grab me hard or squeeze anything or pull my hair etc. Usually we just say dont touch and I’ll do all the work. Does this help? This probably seems graphic but I tried to clean it up, I will say writing about it now it seems like no part of me, like a job thats so not part of me now.
Rarely does a groom to be refuse the lapdances, I saw it less than once a month. I kind of think its a pack mentality, the group of guys just wants to see the guy compromised–sort of like KILL THE BEAST, for this reason and b/c they are usually a one-off customer, we charged more for Bach parties.
Post # 8
And the reason you’re posting this is why…?
The poor woman who’s having a hard time with the fiance and the bachelor party is gonna be so upset reading this. Very very hurtful to her. This is a board for support. A support of marriage, families-to-be, and friendship.
I have to be honest. I kinda find this part (not your dancing) a bit unsettling..
" As for my future husband I believe we have a better than average chance of making it because I know what he wants and I will give it to only him"
I don’t "give it" to my guy. We have a loving and passionate relationship and anything like that stays in the budoir. NOT written on an internet page. And I wouldn’t marry if I had a "better than average chance". It is as though you have a defeatist attitude already about marriage.
I honestly wonder why you posted this. We’re all grown ups here. We know what happens there. And what happens in one of those places is A MATTER OF TRUST. How well you know your guy and how strong your relationship is.
I do wish you well, and hope your love WAY exceeds that "better than average" statistic and that you two are very happy and in love always.
Post # 9
Bellenga, I think it’s related to the other bachelor party post. I think she was trying to shed light on what goes on inside of strip clubs, since a lot of women are under the impression that they’re strictly look-but-don’t-touch.
Post # 10
I think she is just trying to pull the wool off people’s eyes. If anything, she is supporting people who don’t like it when their guys go to strip clubs.
Bellenga I think your post crossed the line and is pretty rude to the original poster.
Post # 11
I am sorry but I think the post is painful to the woman on the other thread.
We pretty much KNOW what happens in the clubs. I never had any wool over my eyes and just wondered why? If she wanted to message the other poster she could. Some things are very painful.
I live near a large metropolitan area and most of us here KNOW what has happened in and around these clubs. anybody from ATL knows about what happened at the Gold Clubs if they ever watched the news.
But it is a matter of trust and NOT EVERY GUY does break his vows. Not every guy does touch.
And fwiw, I wished her well and I DO wish her well (beachbaby). Just some of the wording was imho..strange.
And I do thank you for being so honest BB. And I hope you and your fiance are very happy together.
Post # 12
Bellanga- I thought your post was slightly off the mark too… I think it was more tasteful the original poster didn’t add ‘fuel to the fire’ by posting a response on the other post you are referring to.
I grew up sheltered- & honestly- I seriously thought clubs were hands off. So the fact that Beachbaby brought it up, pulled the "wool off my eyes".
The fact of the matter is, lots of us won’t agree with others opinions. And really, the reason why people post is to get other people’s viewpoints because they might read something that speaks to them, or even gets them to think about their concern from a different perspective. But I think the intent of the message should be evaluated with more neutrality.
Beachbaby- I appreciate the honesty. Congrats on your engagement! & Good luck with your planning! We’ll be seeing you around the boards!
Post # 13
I agree with that Sparkles and I hope I didn’t offend much.
I am honest and I was just being protective of the woman hurting here on the other post.
And sure, there are probably 50/50 of us who know/don’t know what happens in many strip clubs.
I apologize to BB if I was harsh, as I was just very concerned about the timing of this posting and it’s somewhat descriptive content. I just know if it were ME on that other post, I would be so upset right now.
It’s true. Not all of us will agree with each other, but what is important is to try to be supportive during what is to be one of the happiest times of a woman’s life. I’m a soon to be second time bride. My xh was unfaithful and I know how painful it is..and how much it can rip up people’s lives. And I also know that kindness and sensitivity is important as well as support to a woman who’s at a crossroads in her life not knowing which way to turn. Like our friend on the other post is.
And I hope BB you’ll be understanding from my POV. I wish you well and know that if you hang around here long enough, you’ll learn so much, have a good time, and actually enjoy the planning. Wishing you much love and please try to forgive sometimes my blunt-ness.
Post # 14
I just made my dude promise he will never go to the private room. I always thought it was hands off too. I’m okay with lap dances… It’s the and more that worries me.
Post # 15
I find it fabulous that you posted! I think that it is interesting all of the dialogue that has been raised because of your comment… especially interesting to me is all of the women saying that they wouldn’t "let" their husbands or fiancees go to a strip club. Maybe the problems arising are because couples think that they are in charge of what the other person is doing, as opposed to being an equal voice in the actions of a couple. Just my thoughts, though! To each their own.
Post # 16
Ach, bachelor parties are the ONE blip on the wedding planning radar! (Okay, not the ONE blip, but probably one of the few that nearly all brides grapple with at one point or another.)
My fiance has absolutely no interest in going to strip clubs. He has a few friends who will likely be disappointed by that, but for the most part his pals understand his preferences and respect the relationship he and I have built together. All I can say is that if a guy goes into a private room with a dancer, there was probably something amiss with the relationship well before the bachelor party. I know there’s a lot of pressure on our men to participate in this "rite of passage," but we need to have faith that they won’t compromise the loves of their lives (us!) for the sake of debauchery.
A close friend who got married last summer sent an email to his entire bachelor party a couple of weeks before that talked about how excited he was, and said "You’re all welcome to go to strip clubs, but I won’t be going with you." I really admired that – and I have a feeling my guy will be doing the same. You don’t have to "command" your fiance to stay away from exotic dancers; just have a straightforward talk with him about how it makes you feel, and he’ll likely tell his friends to take lap-dances off the menu.
Now, if you’ve taken the time to read this whole thread, I COMMAND you to spend 10 minutes looking up (or re-reading) a poem that will be read during your ceremony, followed by 10 minutes of fantasizing about your wedding gown! Don’t get yourself stuck in anxiety about all of this!