Bachelor party the night before the wedding? Ugh.

posted 1 year ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
10337 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I’d let him go have his fun. Either you trust him to be a responsible adult who knows important things are happening the next day and will act accordingly or you don’t. And if you don’t then should you really be marrying him?

For what it’s worth my brother had his bachelor party the night before the wedding. Yes, some groomsmen got wasted. It didn’t impact anything the following day. I actually don’t think my SIL is even aware that they stayed out late and came home drunk (they had a Dear Daughter, no drunk driving was involved).

Post # 3
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Scotts ~ Walnut Creek

1.) Sleep in separate rooms the night before. This way he won’t disturb you when he gets back and no need for you to stay up texting him. 2.) Assuming he’s an adult he can manage to wake up on time. Not difficult to set an alarm. If you don’t trust him enough to pull it together for his own wedding then you have bigger issues. 3.) Is it possible he can spend time with family and other guests in the evening, dinner maybe, then later on leave with his friends to go elsewhere? If so thats a decent compromise. I don’t imagine you planned on this spending time lasting an entire night.

Post # 6
Member
1755 posts
Buzzing bee

I would say no. Just isn’t worth the risk. Why can’t the two of you have a big dinner that night with his guy friends and their wives and you? Why can’t it be a coed bachelor/ bachelorette dinner? Followed by early to bed? 

Dont let him run off with the guys on his own. The last thing you want is ANY chance of resentment building when he doesn’t come home until super late, or in the am he is being super tired and dragging his feet when you have things to do. Just not worth it. Plus if he just wants to see his friends he should have no problem doing that at a coed dinner. 

Post # 7
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Scotts ~ Walnut Creek

Ok, since theres not much compromise possible and you really don’t seem open to them anyway tell him your not comfortable with the idea. Not what I would do in your situation but I think your mind was made up before you posted.

Post # 10
Member
262 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2018

My husband had his “bachelor party” the night before our wedding. It was basically a laidback thing with his friends the night before like yours is proposing. Not gonna lie I was a little worried because he’s also chronically late but it all worked out – and I would never have forbade him from doing it. In your fiance’s situation, what makes the most sense is to do cocktails/early dinner (like 5-7pm) with you and family, then he goes out for a few hours with his friends. 

I’d really reconsider spending the night before together. We spent it apart, which let each one of us do our own thing and not stress about the other. If the cost of the room is an issue, you could spend the night with one of your closest friends – I had a sleepover with the bride once when I was her Maid of Honor and it was really fun, even though we went to bed super early haha.

Post # 11
Member
4997 posts
Honey bee

I don’t understand why one of you can’t bunk with one of your guests.

Trust him to be an adult.

Tell him you don’t want to be woken up.  

If he can be done with dinner and drinks by X p.m. then he can sleep in your room.  If he’s going to be later than that, then he has to bunk with sibling/cousin/best friend.  If sleeping together is that important to him, then he’ll be back before “curfew”.  If not, then he just deals with that and sleeps elsewhere.

You don’t have to “take care” of anyone more than you would anyone else under any other circumstances if he was there.  They are all adults and it sounds like you’ll be at a resort.  Be a gracious hostess to the extent that you would be no matter what and then go about your business.  You aren’t required to entertain them.

From the sounds of it, you seem to be making excuses for why it can’t work no matter what and I’d bet money that you’re going to find something to be anxious about on the day of no matter what.  If it’s not whether he can get ready in time without you being his mommy to wake him up and keep him on task, it would be something else.  I personally would have a hard time denying my SO the opportunity to spend time with people he cares about and only gets to see once every 18 months, but you do what you need to do.

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