(Closed) Bachelor party "traditions": what's the difference…?

posted 5 years ago in Traditions
Post # 3
1497 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@SexyCatLady:  I don’t think it’s a matter of people “doing their jobs.” People who are okay with strip clubs are probably okay with it because it’s just a show. Like porn. Whereas in a brothel, people actually have sex. Like with a prostitute. Big difference between watching porn and being with a prostitute – same with going to a strip club or a brothel.


Post # 5
428 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

For me it’s a question of intent. Strip club bachelor parties are more about the guys getting to hang out with each other in a naughty atmosphere. But it’s still public and safe, mostly just for show. On the other hand, hiring a woman who goes all the way is a different sort of intent. It’s not just playing around anymore. It threatens the relationship emotionally and even physically. It’s not just for fun.

Post # 6
8446 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think it comes down to boundaries within a relationship.  If one person isn’t ok with it, then it shouldn’t happen within that relationship.  I don’t have a problem with strippers that are just doing a job, but I do have a problem with men being in commited relationships lying to their SOs in order to have strippers/go to strip clubs.  If a bunch of single guys want to go waste their money on strippers, I don’t care, but I certainly wouldn’t want my Fiance doing it.

Post # 7
9671 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@SexyCatLady:  Well a brothel is a place where you pay to have sex with women.  Generally there is no sex at strip clubs.  Kind of a big difference.

I’ve been to strip clubs plenty but I would never go to a brothel.  Because I don’t want to have sex with someone there.

Post # 8
4371 posts
Honey bee

@housebee:  Agree. It’s up to the couple to decide what’s ok in their relationship. Some are even fine with prostitutes. Some don’t want either party to watch porn. I don’t think there’s a right or wrong (as long as it’s legal), it doesn’t concern anyone else but the couple.


Post # 9
1497 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@SexyCatLady:  I’ve only been to a strip club once. So has my Fiance, my sister, and her husband (all at different times/places). No one witnessed any grinding or even lap dances. Of course, grinding a naked body on someone is not okay. That crosses a line, and I doubt many people would be okay with that. But still, it’s a BIG difference between that and sex.

Post # 10
2600 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@SexyCatLady:  I think I see what you’re getting at.  I’ve never understood why behavior that would be considered cheating/grossly inappropriate in any other circumstance is suddenly just fine because its in a club and the woman is getting paid. 

Strip clubs are a no go for me.  I don’t give a damn if its a bachelor party or hanging with the boys.  Its a gross, inapproriate, hugely disrespectful “tradition” and if you want to go party with naked chicks, you need to be single.

Post # 11
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

A cathouse?! Hell no. I am fine with the Lusty Leopard,  but not a full out brothel

Post # 12
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Boys will be boys.

When we go on a bachelorette party we arrived together we leave together. We are having a wild night….but to be honest there is nothing wild going on. We party and drink but we would never touch another man.

Bachelor Parties however are a whole different story:

usually the party is not for the one getting married but for his friends. Were in a group they are incouraged and suported to go to strip clubs to hook up one last time…..for them it is like one last crazy night before the end. A night that ends with everyone disapearing is considered a great night. a Big Success.

If I see my girlfriend cheating on her man I will tell her to stop to not ruin what she has she is getting married….but boys…..oh thats a whole different thing. It will be totally different.

Going to a strip club for me is a pretty inocent activity to do on a SPECIAL TIME only. He pays the woman to dance for him…here in Montreal it is full contact so it means they get to touch everything they want. But in the end they go home Horny. It is a controlled evironment. 

A brothel is a BIG NO NO forget about the risk of desease IUuuuuuuuu.


Post # 13
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

The reason women are ok with strippers “doing their jobs” is because they know at the end of the night their partner will leave the strip club with their friends, and not go cheat on them with a stripper. (Yes, some women consider lap dances cheating, I mean those who don’t.) 

Whereas when they enter a brothel, they are going with the intent to cheat on their partner. (And obviously some people have open relationships, I’m not talking about those women.)



Post # 14
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I hear you. I really don’t get this either. One of my quandaries is this: why is a paid lapdance okay for so many people? Hypothetical question: what if your guy got a lapdance from a woman who wasn’t being paid but with whom there was no emotional connection (or even sexual attraction on her part), just him getting all turned on for this other chick. Would that be ok?


Personally, I would think of both of those things as cheating. It shouldn’t matter whether the woman is being paid or not, it’s still the man’s intent to go seek pleasure from someone outside of the relationship. I know other people have different thoughts on these things, this is just how I see it.

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