Post # 1
I’m asking this in response to all the threads here (and elsewhere online) involving women distraught over their FI/SO/DH doing something inappropriate at a bachelor party.
This is just an honest question for any gals who argue that it’s OK for those in committed relationships to visit strip clubs at their (or their friend’s/brother’s/cousin’s/ neighbor’s roommate’s sister’s friend’s) bachelor party because the strippers are just “doing their jobs”: would you be OK with your SO visiting a brothel? Those women are also “just doing their jobs”. It’s a real question; I’m curio!s
For the sake of argument, let’s use legal brothels in Nevada or Amsterdam as an example, just because I’m guessing the legal aspect of it would make a difference.
Post # 3
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
For me, it’s not about who’s doing what job. It’s about what my guy does. Ogling strippers and getting a lap dance – whatever. Having sex with prostitute – hell to the no. There are profound differences between the two.
Post # 4
@SexyCatLady: To me, there’s a very large difference between strip clubs and brothels. Sure, there are some shady strip clubs where you can pay for “extra services,” but that boils down to me trusting my DH. I don’t care if he goes to strip clubs with the guys on occasion – hell, I’ve even gone with them! But paying for/receiving oral sex/sex/etc. is not ok.
Post # 5
I’m ok with strip clubs, not okay with my fiance having sex with a prostitute, even if it was legal. I think there’s a difference between looking and touching, and a difference between strip club-type of touching and actually having sexual contact (kissing, oral, etc.)
I guess I think of strip clubs as more like porn – I’m fine with him looking at porn, I’m fine with him looking at naked ladies dancing on a stage or on his lap. I think I feel like that stuff is more erotic than straight-up sexual, and I’d trust him not to cross the line between the two.
Post # 6
Good question. My husband and I watch porn together sometimes, although rarely. Neither of us feels the need to watch it without the other present.
Anything beyond watching porn together – like strip clubs, prostitutes, live internet porn, etc. is a big fat NO in our lives. We’d each consider it to be cheating. We don’t do things behind each other’s backs. This is what works for us and we’re both happy with it.
However, all couples are different so if both people agree and something works for them, I say no problem with it. But fair is fair – if he wants to go to strip clubs she should be able to also. I’m not in favor of double standards.
Post # 7
You’re comparing apples to oranges. Strippers are not whores, sluts or skanks.
Women in brothels are paid to have sex.
Strippers ae paid to get naked and look pretty.
If you have sex with a stripper, chances are you’re going to meet a bouncer’s fist and you’re not going to enjoy it.
If my man wants a lapdance, meh.
If my man wants to screw a prostitute, absolutely not.
Strippers do not want to have sex or intimate relations with your men. You’re probably the only one who finds him attractive aside from his mother.
Post # 8
My fiance knows where I stand. He can go to a strip club for his bachlor, and that’s perfectly okay with me! But he knows he isn’t allowed to touch, grope, or more with them. [You really aren’t allowed to anyway.. but sometimes girls who need money will do that sort of thing].
Having sex with a prostitute, even if legal, is NOT okay.
Post # 9
@Hyperventilate: +1 APPLES AND ORANGES PEOPLE!!
Do I care if my SO goes to a strip club? No.
Do I care if he goes inside a brothel? No.
Do I care if he goes inside a prostitute? Yes.
Post # 10
So I don’t understand why anyone would be okay with their man needing to go look at other women naked… If he is satisfied it seems like he wouldn’t need to do that… I know women and men view it differently, but most of my friends are guys and if their women are keeping them entertained then they don’t necessarily need go look at other naked women… I think porn and strip clubs are wayyy different.. I know people that own strip clubs and they might as well be a brothel.. At the end of the day I guess it just comes down to what your personal morals and preferances are as far as a relationship goes.
Post # 11
Sure prostitutes are just doing their job, the same as strippers. But the huge difference is that the job that strippers do does not require breaking the rules of conduct that my SO and I have established. I don’t care if he looks at scantily clad/naked women. I care a lot if he has sex with another woman. It’s pretty simple.
Post # 12
Neither are okay in my book. Stripping, my man is looking at another woman and thinking about sex. Brothel, actually having sex with her.
Not okay, ever.
Post # 13
@lindseywink: My man doesn’t “need” to look at other women. But if his guy friends occasionally want to go to the strip club, or if it’s someone’s bachelor party, I wouldn’t give it a second thought. Shoot, I even gave DH money for a lap dance for his bachelor party!! I trust him completely and I wanted him to have fun. He hasn’t been to one since (this was almost a year ago). Men are visual creatures.
Post # 14
@MrsTillerResq: Women are equally visual creatures.
If my man wanted to look at other women then he’d better be cool with me looking at other men.
Thankfully, we only want to look at each other for our mutual sexual pleasure.
Post # 15
@Sunfire: I totally agree women are visual creatures too. I don’t care to watch men strip because, frankly, penises are ugly lol but that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate a picture of a good looking, shirtless man. I guess I just don’t see the issue of a man wanting to look at a dancing naked lady.
Post # 16
@MrsTillerResq: LOL! I don’t find penises ugly, though, haha! 😉
I think anything is ok as long as both people are happy with it.