(Closed) bachelor party … WHYdo they have to happen?!?

posted 7 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Member
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I feel the same way about strippers and am DREADING his bucks night!! He has a best man and three groomsmen and they all LOVE strippers so he will not only have a stripper but also 6 topless girls handing out drinks and doing lap dancers during the night. The whole thing makes me feel sick!!!!! There is nothing I can do about it and yes he knows how I feel but I have no say and it will happen if I agree or not.

When he gets back from meeting with the guys ask him what they have planned and go from there. The night may not involve strippers many bucks parties dont. Good luck. I also think you should have a night out with the girls and the dinner is a good idea. It will help keep your mind occupied on the night and plus you deserve the time with your gilrfriends.

Post # 6
Member
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

To answer the question best I can…getting married is certainly a “coming of age” step in life and ripe with all kind of symbolism of your life and times changing. It’s your “official” start of life as a unit and your own family, regardless of whether or not you’re gonna have kids. His friends probably see it in two lights. In a sad light, as the “death” of their single friend (how many married men come out every weekend to the pub?) and in a happy light as they’re no doubt happy for him to be making this big step. But they want to give their pal one last hurrah. Before things like guy’s nights are far less frequent and no longer acceptable. 

You did say you spend almost all your time together, so does he ever have the guy’s nights out going on (not a party but just nights where he sees his mates or even one mate)? If he doesn’t have any, well, the party would seem more like a forced tradition than the guys wanting to have that one last hurrah. 

I can understand the worry but a lot of it is just that – he’s marrying you! Not some stripper he may or may not see at a club during his stag do.

 

Post # 7
Member
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@littleG: Posted while you were posting, what’s he have a prolem with now?? Saving it til the wedding?? 

Post # 8
Member
711 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Bachelor parties don’t always have to be strippers, why don’t they have a camping weekend or some hobby that he is into that he can do with the guys.

Post # 9
Member
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Why did you guys fight?

I agree with s_h_e_l_b_s. Bachelor parties these days don’t have to be about strippers.  It can be anything the guy likes to do, camping, white water rafting, paint ball… You say your Fiance doesn’t even like strippers, so why are you so upset?

Post # 10
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Your posts aren’t making much sense! 

What was your fight about? You not spending the night with him after he came home from his bachelor party?

Post # 12
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

But you won’t be staying in the hotel with him after his bachelor party right?

So the first time YOU two spend a night in the hotel it will be special.

And trust me – him crashing at a hotel with his buddies is sooooo different from him spending a night in a hotel with you.

They will likely get a cheep tiny room, there will be two double beds and four guys squished in and it won’t be romantic. Whereas on your wedding night it will likely be a nice room with one large bed and it will be super romantic.

I understand where you are coming from because this is something you want to experience with him but I think you need to understand how different it is! It won’t take away from your wedding night at all!

I think you should pick your battles and this is one I think you should let go! 

Post # 13
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@littleG: Honestly I think you’re being really unreasonable.  He isn’t going to see strippers which was your main concern so that’s good on your end.  But now that he’s going out for dinner and drinks and wants to stay at a hotel (i’m assuming it’s a hotel), you’re upset with him because YOU’VE never stayed away from home before? (I’m not being sarcastic, I’m really asking this because your posts are a little hard to follow.)

I know you say he doesn’t go out much anymore but that very well could be the reason he wants to go and spend time out with his friends.  Some people might not go out much but when the opportunity comes along they’re excited over it and want to have fun.  Your Fiance staying in a hotel for his bachelor party won’t take away from your wedding night being special.  They are two totally different senarios and theres a big difference between getting drunk with the boys and crashing in a hotel and spending your first night together (which is what I’m getting from the posts that you two haven’t spent a night together?)

Post # 15
Member
1944 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think you are overreacting. I honestly can’t stand the stigma behind bachelor parties; they are not all about strippers, porn, girls or whatever! All my guys friends go hang out a a family farm, ride quads, shoot, bonfires and camp out. It was some of the wives bachelorette parties that were risqué and have caused problems! Why do men get the bad wrap? I think what your Fiance is doing is low key and perfectly fine. I really think you need to step back and see that he’s an individual and I’m sorry but you are being a tad controlling if he can’t sleep in a hotel with his friends bc you never experienced that alone. There is nothing wrong with it and honestly I would be upset too if Darling Husband was running my night out with friends. I’m sorry you are upset but people need to get over bachelor parties. If you can have a night out so can he.

Post # 16
Member
1815 posts
Buzzing bee

@littleG: I’m also not understanding. Why do you care if he goes to a hotel with friends? You say you’ve never been to a hotel with anyone but your parents…but has he?

Your first time at a hotel TOGETHER will be special. That doesn’t mean he’s not allowed to go to a hotel with his buddies.

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