(Closed) bachelor party … WHYdo they have to happen?!?

posted 9 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 31
Member
13094 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Your wedding night in the hotel room will still be your first night in a hotel together, whether he stays with his friends after the bachelor party or not.  I really don’t see how it changes anything.

I’m sorry but being upset about him staying in a hotel room because you’ve never stayed in a hotel room with anyone but your parents is a little silly.

Post # 31
Member
13094 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Double post.

Post # 32
Member
7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I really don’t understand why crashing in a hotel for the night is causing you to flip out like this. He’s not doing the stripper thing, so why are you so upset? Just because he is staying in a hotel and not going home??? That just really makes no sense. I can’t honestly believe that your Fiance has never stayed in a hotel before. The fact that you two have not together until your wedding night will make it special.

Post # 33
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I agree with pretty much everything from the PPs.

You two will still be able to have a wonderful new experience by having your first night together in a hotel room on your wedding night. It won’t be the first time either one of you has stayed in a hotel, but that will not take anything away from your wedding night.

His bachelor party seems very tame and in line with what you wanted. I think you should let this one go.

That said, my Fiance had his bachelor party in Vegas last weekend – stayed in a hotel, went to a strip club, etc. I trust him, so it wasn’t a problem. You should just appreciate that he is respecting all your other requests.

Post # 35
Member
1806 posts
Buzzing bee

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@littleG: I don’t understand how morals or values have anything to do with him going to a hotel without you, but I’m glad you guys were able to figure things out.

Post # 36
Member
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

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@littleG: So you guilted him into changing his bachelor party plans by stating you have strong feelings about hotel room sleeping? Do you have any other firsts that he will not be allowed to do until you are married? Like having a steak dinner?  Or competing in a marathon? LittleG, this qualifies as one of the stranger man-controlling behaviors I’ve seen on these wedding boards (if I were to actually believe you). I’m gonna throw this out there, because I don’t think you’re insane: I think you may have talked yourself into thinking you have strong feelings about Your First Time In A Hotel Room, when you really just don’t trust the bachelor party atmosphere and you fear what will happen in an overnight setting with these fellas who do not share your values. So instead of dealing with that fear, you made up this thing in your head about how you think spending the night in a hotel room is special and should happen first with your wife. I’ve known hundreds, if not thousands, of people in my life and I have never heard anyone express that this is special to them.

And now you are talking yourself into thinking that this is somehow his choice. Newsflash: you DID tell him what to do. You gave him no choice.

Post # 38
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

i’m going to anticipate a possible flaming here because i might be being harsh, but i’m going to call it like i see it.

1. his bachelor party plans were not inappropriate in any way

2. you are insecure

3. because of that insecurity, you are being unreasonable, controlling, and unfair. it sounds to me like you are getting everything you want and you could care less about what he actually wants for his bachelor party because you are more concerned with how you feel about it.

 

do you trust your fiance? if so, none of what you mentioned should be an issue.  i really think you should try getting out more…

Post # 39
Member
7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

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@Verno Inferno:

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@bee_elle:

what they said. I think this is one of the more ridiculous threads I have read in a while

Post # 40
Member
2583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Okay, the first few posts made some sense, but after reading the rest of this thread I am SO confused.

 

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@littleG: So you don’t want your Fiance to stay in a hotel room, at all, with anyone or by himself, until your wedding night?? I’ve been in plenty of hotel rooms, with parents, by myself, with friends, with Fiance and his family…. it’s a place to sleep, I don’t get how your morals are so opposed to just sleeping somewhere?

And you didn’t mention the possibility of drugs until halfway into the thread, I thought the concern was strippers… if these guys are seriously doing hardcore illegal drugs I’m not sure why your Fiance would WANT to get a hotel room with them if that’s all they’ll be doing. It sounds like they were just planning a fun guys night out and free of strippers, which is what you asked… I’m going to have to agree with

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@Verno Inferno: on this.

Post # 41
Member
2583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Okay, the first few posts made some sense, but after reading the rest of this thread I am SO confused.

 

 

 

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@littleG: So you don’t want your Fiance to stay in a hotel room, at all, with anyone or by himself, until your wedding night?? I’ve been in plenty of hotel rooms, with parents, by myself, with friends, with Fiance and his family…. it’s a place to sleep, I don’t get how your morals are so opposed to just sleeping somewhere?

 

And you didn’t mention the possibility of drugs until halfway into the thread, I thought the concern was strippers… if these guys are seriously doing hardcore illegal drugs I’m not sure why your Fiance would WANT to get a hotel room with them if that’s all they’ll be doing. It sounds like they were just planning a fun guys night out and free of strippers, which is what you asked… I’m going to have to agree with

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@Verno Inferno: on this.

Post # 42
Member
1941 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

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@MrsSl82be:

I third this. All that response did was infuriate me. I don’t maybe bc I was in his shoes one time and was controlled in everyday via guilt trips and “I’m not comfortable with this etc…” To each their own but it’s not healthy and resentment will soon play in if he can’t experience things without you.

Post # 43
Member
1561 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

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@MrsSl82be: I agree.  Is this even real?

Post # 44
Member
7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

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@MissGreen: agreed! There are certain things that I reserve to experience with the hubs first, but this is extreme. Perfect example – my sister and I went to Niagara Falls in June, and hubs was bummed but we just wanted it to be us by ourselves. So, we did the Maid of the Mist and the Botanical Gardens and Butterfly Conservatory, plus did the dinner in the Revolving room on the Skylon Tower. All things hubs wanted to do as well. So, we will go back soon, and do those things again. But, I saved the Aero Car to do with him first

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