(Closed) Bachelor Party Woes

posted 8 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
2475 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I agree that you shouldn’t say anything to the female friend.  If I was the bride I would be mortified to find out that the other girl knows about my insecurity.  Is there anyway you can talk to the guys who are planning the bachelor party about this…to let them know that having the female friend come out for it would be a really bad idea?

Post # 4
Member
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I also recommend talking to the guys.

Post # 5
Member
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

That would make me uncomfortable, too if that was my Fiance and despite that, I think it’s a little inappropriate for her to be going to the bachelor party weekend, especially when she expressed such enthusiasm about wanting to be involved in the bridal stuff. Frankly, that would piss me off that she would be going and that she changed her RSVP. As the bride, I would want to know. I’m not sure how I would handle it from there but I would want to know.

Post # 7
Member
2703 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

i say your best bet is to talk to the groomsmen and explain the situation. if they are at all mature, they’ll try to accomodate, and hopefully come up with an explanation as to why the female friend should go to the shower instead of attending the bach party.

i’m kinda puzzled on why they would even include her on the bach party wknd, i mean technically… close friend or not, she’s female… isn’t bach party supposed to traditionally be about mentime??

Post # 8
Member
4465 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

This is SO innapropriate of the female friend.  Close friend or not, it’s a bachelor party, which in my opinion is for guys.  And she’s going to be the ONLY girl there?  Bizarre.

I would see if you could talk to the guys and have them call her invite off.

Post # 10
Member
2475 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Remember when you talk to the groomsmen to make sure they don’t tell the female friend the real reason they are changing their minds about inviting her.  If you don’t trust them to keep quiet about the fact that the bride is super insecure about this girl, then you could say something general like “I really know the bride, and I just know she would hate the fact that any girl would be at her groom’s bachelorette party…it’s just awkward, and the last thing you want is the bride to be pissed at the groom.”  You could also emphasize that the bride was really hoping to have the opportunity to bond with this female friend.

Post # 11
Member
1752 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think this is TOTALLY inappropriate.  I literally gasped when I read it.  It seems like it’s her “last ditch effort” to make a pass at the groom.. and that’s awful.

I would def. talk to whatever guys you can and see if they did, in fact, even invite her, or if she invited herself.

It’s a bachelor party, they don’t invite girl friends.

I feel soooo bad for that girl!

Post # 12
Member
1288 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Indiana Memorial Union

First, I’m already thinking it’s inappropriate for the groom to hang out with his friend without his fiance around, but I guess that’s another post…

It is totally inappropriate for her to go to the bachelor party, especially when it’s an all weekend event involving sleepovers. I would go to the male friends first of course, as they can be pretty clueless about these things. But it also sounds like someone kind of needs to take the female friend aside and say: they’re getting married. It’s no longer okay for you to spend time alone with this man.

I think people are incredibly naive when they think serious romantic relationships don’t change the dynamics of opposite sex friendships. It only breeds insecurity and jealousy.

Post # 13
Member
1752 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Well said Miss Ribbons, I agree.. someone SHOULD pull this girl aside and talk to her…

Post # 14
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee

This is really not okay. I think talking to the groomsmen is a good first step, but it’s likely they won’t understand, since guys are often SO clueless about this type of stuff. I agree talking to female friend or the groom might be a bad ides, but you need to talk to the bride. No matter how stressed she is, she’s going to be much more stressed if this girl ends up at the bachelor party and the bride only finds out after the fact. If I was the bride and I found out that you knew about this and didn’t tell me, I would honestly be furious. I feel so bad for this poor girl having to deal with the situation, but she needs to know. 

Post # 15
Member
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I echo PPs and say talk to the groomsmen.  Guys are pretty clueless at times about this stuff, and they probably just see it as she’s his friend and ‘one of the guys’ and won’t realize the inappropriateness of it.

On another note, it is so incredibly inappropriate (in my eyes) of this female friend to basically ditch the shower to attend the bachelor party.  Especially if she expressed in the past how she really hoped to be involved in the bride related activities.  Seems to me if she had any respect for her friend’s (groom) relationship with the bride, she wouldn’t even consider going to the bachelor party.  

Post # 16
Member
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

why would a woman be surprising him for his bachelor party? is she a stripper?

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