Post # 167
If it was my friend, I would tell her and I would hope that she would do the same for me. This girl is no doubt there to entertain her Fiance and there is no way that I would not tell my friend! This girl is skanky and trying to make a fool out of your friend. Your friend’s Fiance probably don’t know about the girl being there, but that would be one party that wouldn’t take place if he was my FH and I knew about all this beforehand! If she is your friend, tell her! If you don’t and she finds out that you knew about this, she would be embarrassed and hurt that you, the guys, the skank and her Fiance all knew about this and she didn’t. I just feel that it’s going to come out eventually because a vindictive woman is involved! If you talk to the guys and they still go through with it, and then one day it comes out…. what if one of the guys say that you knew all along. Or, what if this girl starts to do under-handed stuff like try to become good friends with her just to be around the Fiance…. wouldn’t you feel obligated to tell her that she is not one to be close friends with because she probably slept with her husband at his B-party?
Post # 168
@ceamoste – haha, I’ve heard that response a lot! People keep asking if she was going in a “professional” manner, because why else would she be going? And I completely agree! If I was some devout Christian (which I’m not) and didn’t want to do ANYTHING until I was married, there’s no way I’d fly myself to some far-away city to spend the weekend (and a hotel room) with SEVEN men! Even if I was friends with ALL of them or they were ALL in relationships. It’s just a wierd situation!
@mandiehoward – I’m not sure if you read all the posts, but I ended up trying to work it out with the guys involved and when they weren’t receptive to my concerns, I told the Bride who put a kibosh on the whole thing! The Bride is still concerned that the boys are just telling her they are uninviting Female Friend and that Female Friend will still go though, so we won’t know for sure until that weekend (15 more days).
@Tanya123 – I hope you’re right! I hope that they realize that my husband would tell ME if they still had Female Friend go and then I would tell the Bride and so they wouldn’t get away with it!
Post # 169
You know, this may sound bad but I second the motion of maybe NOT wanting my Fiance to go through with his bachelor party UNLESS something was resolved ASAP, meaning that he better have a talkin to his GMs. I mean, he is marrying your friend, not his GMs and its about being there for each other and compromise, etc. I just honestly dont think this is acceptable what the GMs are doing AND its horrible how they are acting. I would be LIVID and I hate that they are not only creating unnecessary drama, they are potentially causing drama bt the bride and groom bc itll be his friends against her and that puts him in a bad situation.
Geez, this just pisses me off ha! I think you so should say something to the female friend, little b***h! It sounds like she likes being the only girl with those guys and doesnt mind the drama/attention at the expense of someone else and good grief, after 7 yrs and she hasnt made ANY real attempt to get to bride?! Yea, shes no real friend of the groom and super fake, I hope after all this the groom realizes what kind of friends he has and maybe distances himself from them or at the very least, realizes that his wife comes first and doesnt play into their actions.
This really sucks but you know, my Fiance has a couple friends that would pull crap like this and this is what I’ve been dreading…ughhh!
Post # 170
@mrsmurraytobe I know right? She’s annoying me too and I have no idea who she is! It’s fine for girls to have lots of guy friends (I am one of them!) but I hate when it comes along with the attitude “oh I just can’t get along with girls! They are so bitchy lolz!” Come on, girl.
Post # 171
oh man, I’ve been following this from the beginning, and I’m still so stunned at the situation! I’d feel like the Fiance is really not doing enough in this situation. I realize that it’s his bachelor party and so everything is purposely being kept from him – but as soon as he heard about FF joining them he should have stepped up a LOT more than he did. I don’t know whether he just ‘doesn’t get it’, or doesn’t want/mind the drama, but come on! This is the time to show everyone (friends, FF, and espeically the bride-to-be) whose side he’s on.
You’ve really been handling the situation well here Adira – she should be honored to have a friend (and MOH) like you! Just out of curiosity, have you thought of asking your husband to have a ‘chat’ with the guys? Maybe hearing it from ‘one of their own’ would be a lot more persuasive than from you. Also, I’m stunned at how rude Groomsmen1 has been to you throughout this whole thing!! I bet after all of this, the bride doesn’t particularly want Groomsmen1 or this FF slut present at her wedding. Poor girl…
Please do keep us posted 🙂 and keep up the good work!!
Post # 172
Ha right @edina, I feel so personally involved!!
Im one of those girls that has a lot of guy friends and love hanging out with the guys but I know the limits and boundaries and I would NEVER even entertain the thought that it would be ok to be the only girl (who is not the stripper) and attend the bachelor party and unRSVP from the bridal shower to do it, especially when the friend and the bride arent comfy or friendly. B***h!!
Shes a big girl and knows what shes doing, shes being super fake and really, really rude, not to mention acting slutty and attention seeking, at the expense of the bride. I hope the groom realizes and sees all of their true colors and sides with his wife to be.
I’m sorry but at the very least, this girl needs to go…
Post # 173
I completely agree with you all!! This girl is HORRIBLE! She made this BIG deal to the Groom about how much she hoped the Bride would include her in her parties and blah blah blah! She already CAN’T go to the Bachelorette Party, so the Bridal Shower was the only event she could attend! She seemed really excited to attend the shower too. Here’s her ORIGINAL RSVP:
Just wanted to let you know that I am coming to the shower on May 1st! Let me know if you want me to bring anything!
Ps: Did you make those invitations?? They are so cute! I had a bunch of people over for Lost last night and they saw it and everyone loved it!
But then as soooooon as she gets a “better offer” she’ll all “just kidding, I’d much rather spend a TON of money to go hang out with the Groom and sleep in his hotel room, tehehehe”.
The Bride is really peev’d and I only HOPE she’s made the Groom really peev’d too. She said that if the groomsmen just lie to her and still have Female Friend go to the Bachelor Party, she’s going to want to uninvite them ALL to the wedding, even though they are Groom’s part of the wedding party! I told her she needed to sever ALL ties with them if they pull a stunt like that, especially when they know how much it would upset her.
I’m seeing Bride tomorrow night when we go to her dress fitting, so I’m SURE we’ll talk about this situation and I’ll try to find out if anything more has happened. I HOPE the guys have apologized to the Bride, because they definitely OUGHT to. I also hope the Groom has gotten involved and told his friends what A-HOLES they are being! We shall see!
Post # 174
So I agree that the groomsmen are being horrible and this girl has pissed me off from the first post of yours.
But….I have to admit I do have a friend who used to be like this. Who even if she’d never been attracted to guy friend still would be almost competitive or constantly have to flaunt how close of a friend she was to the guy, even in front of the girl. When a few of the guys were forbidden to talk to her, usually after a temper tantrum on my friends part where she’d heavily insult the gf to the guy behind the girls back because the gf put some restrictions on their interaction, she started to change. A few of her guy friends she’s now much more close to their wives and everyone is happy.
My friend is great in so many ways but this was one aspect of her that used to make me cringe and I have no idea why she did it (she’s can be at times a possessive friend even with girls I guess), but even when I and one of her other friends tried to talk sense into her and express how horrible she was to these guys girlfriends she just wouldn’t change for the a looooooong time. She just was a very domineering, posessive friend and had a hard time letting that go. I’m making her sound horrible but she really is a terrific friend, we all have bad traits and this was very much hers.
Post # 175
@troubled – I’m not really good friends with Female Friend, but I’ve hung out with her while hanging out with Bride and Groom on several occassions and I really do think maybe she’s just kind of oblivious to how her behavior comes across to other people. She doesn’t strike me as the type of person to intentionally do something to hurt someone, including Bride – she just doesn’t realize how her actions can affect people.
So I just checked Facebook and Groomsmen 1 has UNfriended me!!! WTF! He just couldn’t play nice until AFTER the wedding??
Post # 176
Unfriending you on facebook???? I mean seriously?? He is more immature than I thought! He needs to reign in his temper and chill out. I know lots of people of said this…but this is getting more and more fishy…
His “friendship”=SO NOT WORTH IT.
@mrsmurraytobe- I’m with you 100%! The Groom needs to “wake up” and side with his Bride…
Post # 177
Whoa, I think this thread has gone a little… extreme. I’m pretty suprised to see this on weddingbee.
A girl who hangs out with a bunch of guys is a slut? Is this the 1950s? Comments that she was sure to have slept with the groom at the party? Uh, what about the assumption here that all these committed men are total sluts? With no moral code?
How does the whole idea of “I trust him, I don’t trust her” work? Is she going to rape him? If rape is off the table than nothing is going to happen as long as he is faithful. If he isn’t faithful nothing will stop him from sleeping with others.
I agree that the girl shouldn’t have been invited and shouldn’t have gone given the history here but to say she’s a terrible person and a slut based on her trust that these guys wouldn’t rape her and thus she could be confident that nothing she didn’t want would happen at a party with her friends? Okay… She’s a terrible terrible person for prefering to hang out with her friend rather than her friend’s SO?
I think the drama here has been fed by both sides and it’s past time to let it die down.
I still don’t get the logic behind going to the bride before the groomsmen had a chance to do so, you could always have corrected the record after the fact and IMO it was gauranteed to make the groomsmen dislike you for very very long time.
Post # 178
@Arachna – apparently the groomsmen ALREADY didn’t like me, so I doubt I’ve harmed some great friendship we could’ve had. I think, that if you read my e-mails to them, and their e-mails to me, I’m being perfectly respectful and polite to them, while they are the ones going off the deep end.
I do agree – this girl is probably not a slut and I also highly doubt anything would happen between her and the Groom. I think she probably didn’t realize that this situation looks sketchy to others and probably didn’t even really think about it – she just thought “Oh cool, this will be a lot of fun!” And I agree – no one was going to rape anyone in this situation so everyone was probably perfectly safe.
That being said – this girl DID make a big deal about being invited to the BRIDE’s parties, but then immediately blew off the Bride the first chance she got so she could hang out with the Groom. Granted – she IS the Groom’s friend FIRST and not the Bride’s, but she had said she wanted to become better friends with the BRIDE and get to know her better, so blowing her off in order to hang out with the Groom, someone she’s already good friends with, is not the best way to accomplish what she stated she wanted to do.
ALSO, I think the biggest concern the Bride has with the situation is because of things the GROOM has said. He has told her that he suspects he’ll have a freak-out moment sometime before the wedding. It’s possible that when he’s drunk, in Chicago, with his BFF the Female Friend, he’ll go “Oh noes, what am I doing! I don’t want to get married!” and Female Friend might take that time to put the moves on him. I highly doubt anything SERIOUS would happen, but I could totally see an instance where they might KISS or something and that wouldn’t be cool with the Bride, you know? The Bride is aware that the Groom has a freak-out moment on the way (who knows, maybe it won’t happen at all) and she already doesn’t trust Female Friend, so she just wants the Groom not to be in some sketchy situation with her where something MIGHT happen (and I highly doubt anything would, it’s just POSSIBLE).
Post # 179
Wow …. I just finished reading this entire string. This whole situation just seems like a mess and I’m glad I’m not in the middle of it. @Adira – I think you’ve done a wonderful job handling the situation and the bride is lucky to have you standing up for her (since her Fiance doesn’t seem to be fully supporting her feelings regarding FF).
The groomsmen just seem to be completely immature and rude. And come on – defriending you on Facebook?! Are we in middle school here? Hopefully they can stick to their word and uninvite FF from the bachelor party.
Post # 180
@adira, so did bride get confirmation of what the actual bachelor party plans are going to be?
and @arachna, i highly agree with you that labeling the FF a “Slut” is a bit extreme. it’s the principle of where her priorities that are not normal… but it doesn’t go as far as FF trying to rape groom. i think that’s a mix of “we don’t know the whole story about FF&groom’s friendship + bride’s insecurities about bach party wknd”…
Post # 181
@missjyc – the groomsmen, I think, for the most part has kept the Bride informed of what’s happening for the Bachelor Party weekend. Since they wanted the whole thing to be a surprise for the Groom, they had to go through Bride to make sure he would be available when they wanted to do the party. I’m not sure if the Bride knows more than I do about the Bachelor Party, but she at least knows as much as me, which is this:
Half of the guys are renting a van and “kidnapping” the Groom on a Wednesday night. They are then spending two days driving to Chicago and should arrive sometime on Friday. They are spending Friday and Saturday night in Chicago and will start the trek back home on Sunday to arrive sometime on Monday back at home. Other friends will be flying into Chicago for Friday and/or Saturday and flying out Sunday. At some point during the weekend they are at least seeing a Cubs game. Presumably they will be going out drinking Friday and Saturday nights as well. I believe that’s as much as Bride and I know about the weekend, though it’s pretty much everything I think. As far as we know, the ONLY thing the groomsmen DIDN’T tell the Bride about ahead of time was the invitation of Female Friend. Bride also doesn’t understand why they can’t just “surprise” the Groom with one of the OTHER guests that will be flying into Chicago and not taking the van and why it was so important they invite a GIRL to be the “surprise” visitor.