(Closed) bachelor party yuckiness

posted 8 years ago in Parties
  • poll: would this bother you? (23 yo girl inviting herself to you FI's party and him telling you 'too bad')
    yep. i'd be mad/annoyed/frustrated : (68 votes)
    79 %
    maybe. . .it's not like anything's going to happen, but it's just weird : (17 votes)
    20 %
    nah, let him do what he wants, it's not weird for a girl to go to a bachelor party weekend. : (1 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    202 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    This would bother me for sure. Mostly because it makes no sense for this 23 year old girl to be at a bachelor party. And it would definitely bother me that your Fiance thinks it doesn’t matter and doesn’t see where you’re coming from.

    Post # 4
    3126 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2017

    Its crazy to have her go. I would say if she is going, other wives/girlfriends including you should be attending. If he wants it to be just bachelors…it should be all guys! I don’t care if she is the most innocent 23 yr old girl in the world- that is weird and awkward.

    Post # 5
    10851 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Ummm ya that would bother me a lot. Whatever if she used to have a crush on him, the fact that it’s a boys weekend and there’s a girl coming regardless of who she is (wife, daughter, gf, friend, whatever) I would be mad! I know for DH’s bachelor party (a week in the Bahamas) one of his Groomsmen said “Okay I booked the tickets for Girlfriend and I” and all the guys were up in arms and said absolutely not, it wasn’t fair to the other girls. It’s a guys week(end) away, not an excuse for a family vacay.

    Does your Fiance not see that maybe it’s a little unfair to the other wives/GFs/SOs? Maybe you should all invite yourselves along too. And let’s not even get into a dad who thinks having a 23 year old girl present as the only female at a bachelor party is appropriate. Doesn’t he ever just want to cut loose?! What a weird “fatherly” thing to do….

    Post # 7
    10851 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    @hellorebecca: Ugggh messy. In any case, on so many levels, totally not cool. I’d be annoyed too. And I’d be doubly annoyed that Fiance doesn’t/can’t see it from your side. He doesn’t have to agree with you, but he should at least attempt to understand why it might bother you!

    Post # 8
    5993 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    i would have a problem if a (ie one only) woman attended a boys only weekend and she doesnt have to have a crush on anyone for it to annoy the heck out of me, its simply annoying that she feels she has the right to be included in something that obviously she should not be attending (ie its a guys weekend).  the fact that they are now trying to work the dates around her would annoy me as well


    Post # 9
    542 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    Yeah I would be majorly bugged! I think you have every right to be upset and object to the plan here. I think your Fiance needs to stand up to this friend about his daughter. I mean, this is HIS bachelor party. It should be about him and what he wants to do. Maybe if you can get some of his friends to back you up about this and he and some of his friends voice their concerns about having the daughter go on the trip, he will feel more comfortable confronting the dad/friend. Best of luck to you, girlie!

    Post # 10
    979 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Uh yeah!  Why would a girl want to go with just a bunch of guys unless she is up to no good!! Maybe you can push her off a cliff or something (just kidding, don’t recommend it to anyone). I think its BS that your Fiance couldn’t at least listen to your concerns.

    Post # 11
    1480 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    Yeah, that’s really weird. I don’t think you’re wrong or crazy for getting upset.

    I think what @SamanthaSadlier: said is very sensible. If the other groomsmen aren’t happy about her tagging along either, maybe they can say something to Z’s dad so that your Fiance doesn’t have to feel like the bad guy. Maybe try suggesting that to him?

    If his answer to you is still “Too bad,” then I don’t know if there’s anything else you can do to get him to see it your way. It really sucks that you’re in this position. I hope it works out.



    Post # 12
    10287 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    This would not fly with me. No way, no how!

    Considering this girl used to be interested in your Fiance, regardless of if its his friends daughter or not, is an issue. Bachelor parties are for the guys only. There is no reason that she needs to be involved. The fact that the entire trip was changed because it wasn’t convenient for her is crazy too. Your Fiance really should stand up to his friend and put his foot down though from the tone of your email it doesn’t seem like he really has a huge problem with this, only that he thinks its “weird”. I dont want to sound like a Debbie Downer, but the fact that he told you that it was “too bad” is the bigger issue. You are going to be his wife and if you are uncomfortable with something that will be happening during his bachelor weekend then he shouldn’t do it. I bet he wouldn’t be too keen on you involving some guy that you used to be interested in, in your bachelorette party. 

    Post # 13
    9029 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    The fact that they are changing the date just so that she can come is completely ridiculous. I would put my foot down and say she cant come. Even if this upsets Fiance or causes some tension with his friend, his friend is completely unbelievable to want to bring his daughter to a guys weekend, Your Fiance needs to say no to this and stick to the original date

    Post # 14
    2103 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    No, she couldn’t come. There would be no question about it! I know your fiance doesn’t really turn down his friend like that but, I think you definitely need to step in and put your foot down about the situation.

    It makes me uncomfortable to even think about her going…and the fact that they’re even changing the date for her is ridiculous and totally inappropriate. This isn’t the time for him to be playing “Cool Dad” with his daughter.

    I agree with the PP who said to maybe vet it through the groomsmen…Maybe that’ll make it go over easier.

    Post # 16
    792 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I’m glad his friends sided with you, and thought it was crazy, but I do also think it’s important that your Fiance understands your wishes next time something like this comes up, because next time his friends might not mind.

    The topic ‘bachelor party yuckiness’ is closed to new replies.

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