- 8 years ago
- Wedding: February 2011
ok guys. . . i need some honest opinions here.
my Fiance was planning his bachelor party, a guys’ skiing weekend.
one of his best friends, who is in his wedding, is practically old enough to be his dad (they hang out, go hiking, he is a fun guy who acts a lot younger than his age) and has a daughter, we’ll call her Z. Z is about 23 yo and my Fiance is 33.
now, Z used to have a HUGE crush on my Fiance before I was in the picture. . .and Fiance said he considered dating her at one point, but never actually asked her out, they would just talk on the phone and stuff. anyway, that was all a long time ago and they are just friends now, whatever. she is actually interested in another groomsman currently. but my Fiance has said that her dad used to really wish that he and Z would get together.
anyway. . .the guys are planning this skiing wkd and , suddenly my Fiance tells me that his friend tells him ‘Z wants to come too’ in an email, nonchalantly. . .and my Fiance says ‘yeah, i don’t really have a problem with that’!
of course, my FI thinks it’s weird, all the other groomsmen think it is totally weird, but this guy doesn’t think it’s weird because it’s his daughter. and my Fiance never ever stands up to this friend. . .i think maybe because of the age difference. . .and my Fiance is the type who likes to please everyone. . .but seriously, what kind of guy invites his daughter to his friend’s bachelor party? there will be about 7-8 guys, and her.
let me also say that this friend is not at ALL protective of his daughter, i really think that if she was making out with my Fiance, her dad would not care. they have a weird father daughter relationship IMO.
the kicker to all this is that a few days ago, the DATE of the party gets changed. . .my FI’s friend says ‘oh Z can’t make the 22-23rd. . .so we can only do the 7-9 or the 30-31’!! what?? now the whole party centers around this girl??
when I found out about this I was so upset. I told my Fiance i really wasn’t comfortable with her going in the first place, and why aren’t any of the wives or GFs of other dudes going? i mean if it were a mixed gender weekend that would be fine! heck i woudl want to come too! but i thought a BACHELOR party was for BACHELORS. not 23 year old girls who invite themselves via their dads. . . argh.
what I hate about all this is that I tried to tell my Fiance how i feel and he says ‘too bad’. he says ‘how does it affect you?’ and says I am trying to be too controlling by voicing my opinion on this.
the thing is i really don’t think I’m abnormally insecure about this girl! i really think most women would feel the way i do. . but maybe I am wrong.
so. bees. . . give it to me straight. am i being crazy for letting this bother me? any advice/perspective would be much appreciated!